"Babysit my kids while I smoke. "

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Why go all militant about it and threaten with the police? That's all I'm saying.

1. Because it is not the waitstaff's job to provide free babysitting.

2. Because it might knock some sense into the dumb cow's head and make her think twice about abandoning her kids repeatedly during a meal.

3. Because it only takes seconds for a creep or pervo to snatch an unwatched child and be out the door with them.

4. Because the parent is making a habit of leaving the table repeatedly and leaving the children unattended.

That said, I personally wouldn't go that route, but if somebody else in the restaurant did I wouldn't blame them too much.

[Pagan]

I have to say I agree with Ree on this. Calling the cops would have be quite the over-reaction. The kids weren't abandoned. Yes, it is sad that mom couldn't go that long without a cigarette (My dad smoked, pipe and cigars, but he had no problem going without for a meal. He did quite smoking the pipe, but still enjoys a cigar now and then.), but she never left the place. Plus, I'm pretty sure that she would have noticed someone walking out of the place with one of her kids!

[Rapscallion]

I'm fifty-fifty on this. Abandoning children for two hours in a toy store whilst shopping across town - I'd call the cops in a heartbeat. If she persistently did it, I'd certainly consider it. As a one-off, I wouldn't be too worried. However, expecting serving staff, who have entire areas to look after, to be babysitters is beyond the limits of decency.

Rapscallion

[Hotfoot]

Well, I wasn't expecting to share this story, but it's relevant, though you'll have to forgive me if it takes a while to get to the point relevant to this thread.

A few years back, and friend and I took a trip to Chicago to stay with his SO at the time for New Years and general good times. We decided to take the train because, frankly, it wasn't that far and it would be an interesting new experience. For reference, I have rather long hair, and he grows facial hair at a ridiculously fast rate. As we're getting on to the train, we ask one of the crew if we can get a seat together, since the tickets didn't have numbered seats like on an airplane. She looks at us, smiles, and says, "Oh yes, we're seating couples now, go right ahead," with a knowing wink to the both of us. We go ahead and look at each other thinking, "Oookay..."

We put this out of our minds until the return trip. This time, my friend goes ahead while I watch the luggage and asks the attendant if we can get seats together. He gives me the okay sign and I move up, and as I go into the train, the attendant (a different one from before, obviously), smiles and says, "He's waiting for you inside," with yet another knowing smile. I'm wondering what the meaning behind it is, and when I talk with my friend once we're inside, I find out that she had said, "Oh, sure, we can make sure you and your husband are sitting next to each other, go right in." It was decided because of my hair that I was the bottom of the relationship, of course.

On the way back, we made use of the food car and got a quick bite to eat and chatted about the week we had spent in Chicago. A woman came up to us and asked us if we could watch her baby for her while she got a smoke in the smoking car. We were a bit confused, but we agreed, since we weren't going anywhere.

So during the course of this trip, we apparently started dating, got married, and then had a child. Quite an eventful New Year's, I must say.

In her defense, the train ride was over 20 hours and it wasn't like we could really steal the baby. I mean, where could we go? It's unfortunate, and I certainly hope that she managed to break her addiction, but having dealt with numerous people with this problem, I know how hard it is for them to let go. At least she had the common sense to not smoke around the baby, which is preferable to smoking around the baby, but I agree that there should be a point where you sacrifice for the good of the child. Some people just see the smoking as the crutch they need to handle all the garbage life gives them, so they rationalize it as the act of smoking is good for the child, because it allows them to do all the things the child needs for support.

Does it suck? Sure, but that's part of addiction. You physically crave it, so you justify using it. Some people will never break the cycle, and that sucks.

The woman in the OP sucks because she can't break the cycle, but she's hardly the worst case I've seen. She at least acknowledges that she can't leave her children alone, rather than just abandoning them outright. It's still not right, and she needs to drop the habit and stop relying on other people to watch her kids while she gets her fix, but there is some modest degree of hope for her.

Of course it all means nothing if she doesn't eventually stop smoking, period. One would hope that she would have stopped smoking while she was pregnant, and that would have ended the addiction, but chances are she just rationalized that the big danger was in second-hand smoke, not smoking while pregnant, which of course could lead to other problems for those kids later on, but now I'm rambling.

Short version, addictions suck, but sometimes you can't help addicts. Also, Amtrak employees seem to be very accepting of alternative lifestyles, but their gaydars are a little off.

And there you have a New Year's story just in time for New Year's.

[Boozy]

The waitress agreed to watch the kids, so the question of whether or not to call the police is completely moot. The children were not left unattended, therefore the mother did nothing wrong (other than being presumptuous enough to assume a waitress would have time to babysit while on shift.)

I have been asked to watch children before, and I always say no. I want nothing to do with that legal minefield.

[iradney]

I don't have kids. I don't think I will have kids. But if I did, I would be the world's most paranoid mother. I wouldn't leave them in the presence of strangers (incl daycare), especially if I cannot hear them calling for me. Yes, I'm overprotective of those I love.

[scruff]

I'm ust really happy the Mum went and smoked outside, instead of infront of her kids.

(Having just come back from spending the holiday with several heavy smoking relatives who see nothing wrong with lighting up when I'm sitting right next to them, eating. Of course, it's their house, so I can't really object to what they do in their own home, but I'm glad to be out of there.)