That's no good to me

[Enjis]

In most stores, open software returns are done only if the item is defective...and then you can only exchange for the same item. I see this policy in most places such as Blockbuster and Target.
"Because I don't like it' is not a valid reason for a return on opened software.

[CrazedClerk]

"Because I don't like it' is not a valid reason for a return on opened software.

And you should see how mad people get when I tell them that.

I don't need an angry person swearing up a storm in our store because of a $40 game. We are told in training that if a customer makes that much of a ruckus, just do the return and get them out of the store.

"squeal and you get what you want even if it's rediculous or against policy"

You'd be surprised at how many stores/businesses it works at.

[dragonflygrrl]

I have a certain type of customer I think of as the "Bartleby the Scrivener," type. Think back to your high school Brit Lit and you'll remember. He's the guy that no matter what he was asked to do, he replied, "I would prefer not to." Eventually he got fired, wandered off, and died under the railroad tracks or some such. Unfortunately, the consumer version of Bartleby won't do us the courtesy. Instead, they just stand there refusing all options, not seeming to understand that at a certain point they have to pick one or leave. Hate is not too strong a word.

Me: Well, sir, since the phone is water damaged, your warranty is unfortunately voided. So your options are to either renew your contract and-
BtS: I don't want to renew my contract.
Me: OK, then the other option would be to purchase a new phone at retail price. To replace your phone would cost $250.
BtS: I don't want to pay that much.
Me: OK, well the cheapest phone we sell is $139.
BtS: No, I don't want to do that either.
Me: Well, we have one used phone in stock, it is-
BtS: I don't want a used phone.
Me: *sigh* Unfortunately, that is all I can do for you.
BtS: But I don't want to do any of those things. *stares at me expectantly*
Me:

What do they expect you to do? Why do customers think there's an additional, more attractive option that we will only share if they stare at us long enough? Like I'm going to say, "Hey, you beat me at don't blink! You win a free phone!"

[Becks]

What makes them think that they're better than us workers?

The fact that they don't have OUR jobs.

[Tigress]

Here's a phrase I hate even more:

"That's not good business."

This is usually in response to two things: either I'm not doing something they want (usually because it violates company policy) or the co-worker they want is on lunch/in the bathroom/whatever.

The former gets something along the lines of: "I'm sorry you feel that way, but this is all we can do for you here. I'm going by policies handed down to me by my higher-ups. I don't know what else to tell you except to give you our corporate numbers to complain about our policies. There's nothing else I can do at this point." I find that reminding them that you are lowly register biscuit with little authority that's trying to scrape out a living on the shit salary you're being paid, they tend to back off on the smug attitude.

The latter gets a lame sounding: "I'm sorry, I can take a message and s/he'll call you back." I have to bite my tongue to keep from telling them off for fully expecting my co-worker to be a psychic robot slave that will jump every time the SC farts in his/her general direction. If they treated my co-workers like human beings, maybe they'd get a return call a little quicker.

And where do these assholes get off telling me, who actually works in the store/office and deals with all the ins and outs of the company, what is and isn't "good business"? You know what good business is? It's MAKING MONEY! All this stuff about "good customer service" and stupid corporate policies is all a means to the goal of MAKING MONEY. Not bending over and taking it up the rear because you're too cheap to pay for the stuff you want or too obtuse to realize that lowly employees need to eat, too.

[Dips]

I find a very quick, final-sounding, "I'm sorry. The options I've explained are all we can do about [issue X]. Is there anything ELSE I can help you with?" usually gets it across that you are DONE discussing issue X. If there isn't an issue Y, it's time to move on.