Here's to you...

[toolbert]

I've seen this done before, but I don't know if this was before the hack or after the last hack had happened. Still, I thought it's fun and I'd like to do it again. If you don't know what I'm talking about; there's a selection of radio commercials called "Real Men of Genius". They were all pretty funny and they can easily be reflected to an SC in our everyday lives. So, I present to "Real Customers of Suckieness" to you all. Enjoy and add your own if you'd like .

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Mr. I Won't Pay the Restocking Fee

Today we salute you, Mr. I Won't Pay the Restocking Fee guy
(Hell no he won't pay that fee)

What do you do when you personally mess up your PDA?
That's right, you return that sucker as fast as you can.
(return it before they know its your fault)
Besides, you knew what you were doing didn't you?
You weren't told what you needed to do to ensure it worked right!
(He didn't help at all!)
Sure, he helped you for over two hours and fixed the problem
But you're gonna return that open box item anyway
(What fee do you mean?)
It takes guts to return a perfectly working item that now he can't sell back,
but it takes more guts to refuse to pay a restocking fee after having it told to you more than 5 times before you bought it.
(Yeah!)

So, crack open a ice cold drink of your choice, cause it's a crime against Humanity and you shouldn't have lose 10% of your purchase.
(Mr. I Won't Pay the Restocking Fee)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

OK, I'll do it again...

Mr. Always calling-in-sick guy

Today, we salute you, Mr. always-calls-in-sick-guy.
(Mr Always-calls in sick guy!)

Looks like you partied a little too hearty this weekend, and you work this morning. But fear not! Relief is just a phone call away!
(Cough! cough! haaaaaccck!)
And is it really your fault your request for the weekend off got denied? The manager's just got it in for you. All you have to do is hit speed dial...and it's a work-free weekend.
(My sister's in the shop!)
And you've got such a creative mind! When all the usual excuses are used up, you can out-think the most cynical of managers!
(Any my car's having a baby!)
And last of all, you're a medical marvel. You've had the runs, mono, the swine flu, a bad back, the bends, and that unfortunate case of narcolepsy. And yet, you still can sell them snake oil.
(I said I can't...ZZZZZZZZZZZZ!)

So we salute you, you avoider of toil. Because you're always there when you need your coworkers to fill in!
(Mr always-calls-in-sick guy!)

[batmoody]

HAHhahaaahahha! Thats good. I get it! I love those commercials.

[Becks]

Very funny

My personal favorite, though, is the Mr. Distribution Center truck loader guy
one by I. P. Freliegh

[toolbert]

I have another one because of the guy I met at closing tonight...

Mr. I Don't Care if You're Closing Guy

Today we salute you, Mr. I-don't-care-you're-closing guy
(Mr. I-don't-care-you're-closing guy

Looks like the store is about to close for the night
Does that mean it should stop you from trying to buy something?
(I can still see the lights on)
Who cares if everything is put away and the man behind the counter is counting the till
Its not like he'll go home early!
(He doesn't have family anyway)
You pretend not to hear him saying he's closing
He's there to serve your needs and your needs only!
(I only need a case)
And to top it all off you attract much wanted attention from other mall patrons
He could use the buisness anyway, you're doing him a favor!
(You're a saint)

So, open a cold one Sir Can't-wait-till-tomorrow because making him close a half an hour late is a part of his job.
(Mr. I-don't-care-you're-closing Guy)

[Kyree]

hehehe. I love it! Especially the closing guy...