When I worked at the security call center on graveyard shift, I heard all sorts of things on phone calls. Farts, burps, coughs and snotty noses were the least offensive. I vividly remember the night someone called in to complain that his burglar alarm was beeping at him (it was a low battery signal), then set the phone down in the middle of the call and proceeded to have sex with--well, it could have been someone else, or not. Hard to tell. I didn't stick around to figure it out--never was a call disconnected so quickly. I also had many calls where people would be in the bathroom, either actively using the toilet for whatever function, or in the process of cleaning up and flushing. I guess they assumed I was too stupid to get what they were doing or I was supposed to have my fingers in my ears, singing "LA LA LA" at the top of my voice until they were done and ready to get on with security company business.

Comment