Why do the weird and the old come to me?

[Bagboy]

I am no longer working in produce. They have me as a courtesy clerk now. Anyways in this demotion I now get to handle all the weird people and people that just don't need to be out. Like this for example:

Me-Bagboy
COB-Crazy old B****


Me: Hello mam, paper or plastic?
COB: Hi, i'm COB. How are you today?
Me: Mam, paper or plastic?
COB: Plastic.
Me: ok

The bagging is done.

Me: may I assist you to your car?
COB: yes.

we leave, now it gets interesting.

COB: Aliens exist, i am one.
Me. that's nice mam.
COB: No, I don't think you understand, I have been sent to deliver a message. Get the president, get NASA.
Me: ok.
COB: if they say aliens don't exist, then how are you talking to one?
Me: Don't know.

All things are in her car, and she leaves. As soon as she is out of the lot, I burst into laughter. I almost pissed myself. And to think, the key to life outside our planet lived on Nantucket.

[walking with scissors]

COB: Aliens exist, i am one.

The honesty is refreshing!

[Becks]

I now get to handle all the weird people and people that just don't need to be out.

Most of us get to do that.

Sometimes it's hellaciously amusing.

[trunks2k]

You know, one day there really is going to be an alien visiting earth, and nobody will believe it and it will be very confused why nobody seems to care.

[Saydrah]

The first one sounds like she just feels badly about how curt most people are with baggers and wanted to make conversation.

The second, well, I grew out of that belief in third grade...

[Bagboy]

My manager tells us not to make too much conversation.

[Rapscallion]

COB: Aliens exist, i am one.

"I'll just immigration, then."

Seriously - if little green men came to Earth from Mars, they'd be knackered at customs.

"What's that on your clothes?"

"Moon dust."

"Right - let's get you searched!"

Rapscallion

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"I'll just immigration, then."

Seriously - if little green men came to Earth from Mars, they'd be knackered at customs.

"What's that on your clothes?"

"Moon dust."

"Right - let's get you searched!"

Rapscallion

That is, if they're brave enough to come down here.

If they do exist, I wonder what they'd think of the human race . . .

[Record Store Tough Guy]

I once met a guy from Nantucket. Let's just say the rumors about him were greatly exaggerated.

[Xieg]

And to think, the key to life outside our planet lived on Nantucket.

Only way I can think of explaining some things about the people out there.

[Forensic Waitress]

My manager tells us not to make too much conversation.

I can understand that it leaves you open to looneys being able to share their weird and funny stories.

[Geek King]

You know, one day there really is going to be an alien visiting earth, and nobody will believe it and it will be very confused why nobody seems to care.

If we really are visited, I imagine they will have a better way to announce themselves than random molestations out in the hinterlands. Just in case they don't have a better way, and they happen to be reading this, let me advise them:

Attention alien visitors! There is nothing in our asses that will save your planet! If you would like our aid in finding something that would be of use, please feel free to land on the front lawn of the White House, or in front of the nearest television station. I assure you that you will be given our full, undivided attention until Britany Spears does something nutty again. Thank you.

[aurelemsrealm]

I've come to the conclusion that aliens don't visit Earth to seek intelligent life. They come to cast off their rejects. Think about it.

[trunks2k]

I've come to the conclusion that aliens don't visit Earth to seek intelligent life. They come to cast off their rejects. Think about it.

Earth is mars's version of Australia.

[Broomjockey]

I've come to the conclusion that aliens don't visit Earth to seek intelligent life. They come to cast off their rejects. Think about it.

Or how about the classic "Aliens haven't contacted us because they're looking for intelligent life.