One step away from Sexual Harassment....

[marasbaras]

Um, sorry, but Wikipedia is not the best source of real facts. Page quality varies widely based on the editor in charge of the fiefdom.

I suspect that we're getting close to what should be on Fratchings ... so, I'll just leave it at this: using "sexual harrassment" in such a fashion weakens the phrase, just like "racism" and "terroristic threats".

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. It doesn't matter what relationship you have to the perpetrator.

Except if we take that literally, then every time somebody comes into the store and decides to be a lecherous ass, the company can find itself on the receiving end of a lawsuit.

And how would you propose a business screen these kinds of people out beforehand?

It most definitely would be sexual harassment if this guy kept coming into the store to ask the OP similar personal questions and make more lecherous comments, and the management looked the other way.

[Anriana]

Aw, come on. Does no one feel bad for the guy? Just the way you describe him makes him sound like some poor, pathetic soul. Sure, not the brightest star in the sky, but he was probably horribly embarrassed and thinking to himself, "Oh my god, what a tremendously stupid thing of my to say!"

That being said, that is indeed a very creepy thing to ask someone. *shiver*

Is that sarcasm? He *should* be horribly embarrassed and berating himself so he doesn't say stupid inappropriate crap like that in the future.

[Hon'ya-chan]

I'm facepalming the fact that a good number of you neglected to read the title of the thread.

[crazylegs]

I'm facepalming the fact that a good number of you neglected to read the title of the thread.

One step away from...

The guy is still damn creepy though

[Seshat]

Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. It doesn't matter what relationship you have to the perpetrator.

Except if we take that literally, then every time somebody comes into the store and decides to be a lecherous ass, the company can find itself on the receiving end of a lawsuit.

No, the customer can find him or herself on the receiving end of a lawsuit.

The company can only find itself on the receiving end of a (valid) lawsuit if it has a pattern of making staff vulnerable to harassment and not trying to protect them. The name of the lawsuit might be negligence or hostile work environment or something - I'm not a lawyer, so I don't know.

As for the particular case of the OP, whether I would judge it harassment or not depends on the presentation, and on the 'reasonable man' ruling:
* if the customer was leering, sleazing, and did the whole crossing-boundaries nudge-nudge wink-wink look-at-her-like-he's-looking-through-clothing thing, then either he's soooo socially inept he needs a carer, or he was clearly being harassing.
* if the customer said it in an offhand, making-conversation, talking-about-the-book way, I'd be willing to say he had a brain fart, it happens to everyone, he crossed the line but I'll let it rest.
* anything in between, it depends on exactly where in between it was. And there's a grey area where it's hard to say and you may as well flip a coin.

Regardless, it was a single case, a single event, and I'd probably shrug it off as this person being an idiot. For my own self, I don't bother to consider these things worthy of my attention until it becomes a pattern, and even then I prefer to try to handle it myself. Usually with some sort of 'are you socially inept, clueless, or trying to anger me?' line of discussion.

However, I'm a strong-minded, ornery middle-aged woman. When I was a clueless little teen, I wasn't yet emotionally scarred and toughened enough to handle these things. If I could go back in time, I'd advise my former self to let one such event go, but to take a pattern to the appropriate authority. (I just wish that one particular time when I did that, the authority had handled it better. Oh well. I did the best I knew how at the time.)

[iradney]

I dunno, if someone asks me for the sexbooks, points to something and asks me if I do it, saying anything other than "it's none of your business" could open you up to all sorts of nonsense.
Problem is, you don't know the guy. He might take you saying "Yeah, I've tried it" as an invitation to try something. Better safe than sorry

(DISCLAIMER: NOT ALL MEN ARE PIGS. IT'S THE SMALL VOCAL MINORITY THAT RESULTS IN WOMEN HAVING TO ACT LIKE ALL MEN ARE PIGS)

[Shards]

Personally, this sounds like the sort of thing that overly macho guys like me get roped into.

One minute you're hanging out with your buddies, the next, you're walking into a store and getting ready to do a dare that you know very well you shouldn't be.

Maybe I read it wrong, but it sounded like this guy was in his late teens or early twenties (maybe I'm reading too far into a line in the OP) and at that point in life, guys in general are very much in the chest-pounding, do-what-is-necessary-to-impress-friends, never-go-back-on-a-dare-or-you-aren't-a-man phase. Now, I won't say what he did is right, but based on how embarrassed he seemed to be, I'd guess it wasn't his idea, and the person you should be (More, I'm not saying you shouldn't be a little disgusted with this guy, but...) mad at is one of his creepy, perverted buddies who put him up to it.

Trust me, at that age a guy would rather die than be branded a coward, or less of a man, and since we don't have many lions to hunt anymore, the test falls to socially unacceptable behavior. It isn't right, it just isn't necessarily all his fault. Never underestimate the will power of a man whose masculinity is in question.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Sounds to me like a classic case of a guy speaking before thinking. I don't think he really meant to creep you out, but he certainly did.

[Tanasi]

To the OP, When the guy asked you that you should have said "Sorry I'm not gay." (No offense to our LGBT friends).
I've seen this used with devistating effect, and especially so in groups of friends.

[Hon'ya-chan]

To the OP, When the guy asked you that you should have said "Sorry I'm not gay." (No offense to our LGBT friends).
I've seen this used with devistating effect, and especially so in groups of friends.

Not witty enough to thought of that. One of the Gay Co-Workers here thought of that after the fact though.