Wow, what a week at the call center. On the good news side I got I raise
On the band news side I still don't think I'm paid enough to deal with this kind of ashattery.
Me: Call Center Samurai Master
SC: well you know
Well, then...
SC: I do hope you're going to treat me better than the last person I spoke. It was a supervisor as a matter of fact and I sincerely hope that supervisor is somewhere on the bottom of the atlantic.
(I'll try and be sure to stay on your good side...)
the Reverse SC
This guy was rather interesting. I call him the reverse SC because he was annoyingly NICE, so we'll call him ANG for Annoying Nice guy.
Observe:
Me: Ok your payment extension is in and everything else looks good. Anything else I can do for you today?
ANG: You know, I love you guys. This customer service is fantastic. Never once have I had a problem, never once man. I've convinced 7 people I know to switch to your company. I should get a commission for selling your phones!
Me: Uh, well.. (You could always apply at one of our stores, but I can assure your spirit would be promptly shattered)
ANG: Can I speak to you supervisor? I want to tell her what a great job you did!
(Note: All I did for this guy was give him a few more days to pay his bill)
Me: Certainly, one moment.
ANG: Some people complain about you guys but every time I call in I get terrific service, like seriously I can't say enough about it. You actually treat people well and all.
Sup gets on call, I can only hear what she says.
Sup: That's great sir, I'm glad he was able to solve your problem...yes we do work very hard to please our customers...No you probably can't get commission for that...Can you sell our phones?...Well, we do very much value our customers...
Sup must've been on with him for 15 minutes. Like I said the guy was really nice, but it was just a simple call, did it have to turn into a 23 minute speech from him about how great our company was. He sounded like he'd been brainwashed or something.
Hell hath no fury...
Background: This woman had a temporary credit on her account, which means we remove a charge from the account for a certain period of time, then reverse it back on. They are used to restore service in advance of a payment.
SC: My fuckin bill said $81 and I paid that, why the hell you saying I'm $84 past due!
Me: Well I see there was a temporary credit that reversed for $170
SC: Yeah I had a temporary credit for $170, but I paid the $170
Me: Yes but you still had an outstanding balance when the $170 was paid, that's what's showing now.
SC: I ain't have no balance bitch! I paid my bill last month.
Me: Ma'am let me explain, we gave you a temp credit. You made a payment. Temp credit reversed back to the acct, you still owe part of that $170 we temped you.
SC: I paid that motherfucking bill! I ain't paying a damned penny more, get me your Supervisor.
Me: Very well, one moment.
(I was waiting on a sup, but suddenly I heard my own Sup's voice come on the line, evidently he'd been monitoring this call for training reasons)
SUP: My name is Bill, you asked for a Supervisor, what can I help you with?
SC: Yeah I asked for you bitch! You're trying to make me pay money I don't owe! I don't owe no motherfuckin $80!
SUP: Well what happened ma'am was we gave you a temp credit of $170, you then paid $170. This meant $340 was credited against your account, but only $170 was your payment, the other was the temp credit that later reversed.
SC: I got a damned bill for $80 and I paid that!
SUP: Yes ma'am, the temporary credit was still in effect when the bill came out, that's why it only said $80. If you review your past few months bills you'll likely see where the charges are coming from.
SC: What you just put random fucking charges on people's bills?? Don't give me that shit, I ain't owe no $81 I'm telling you right now.
(SUP repeats explanation approximately 8 times, with SC getting more pissed off each time)
SC: GODDAMN IT! You stupid motherfucker! I ain't owe no 80 motherfuckin dollars! I paid my damned bill!
SUP: Ma'am I am not explaining it to you again and if you continue to use profanity I will disconnect this call.
SC: Oh hell no you won't asshole!
SUP: Ma'am, I --
SC: Come on motherfucker, this is bullshit, you think I got all the time in the world to sit on this phone and argue with your bitch ass? I ain't got time for that!
SUP: Ma'am, if
SC: I don't you anything, NOTHING! Not a single fucking penny! You hear me nigga? Not a DAMNED THING!!
At that point the sup walked over to my station (he was at his desk taking the call) and pressed the button on my call box to HANG UP the call, then told me "just put in the notes the call dropped". I was like but the Sup is the boss, I should also mention he's a 25 year old white guy.
My sup doesn't usually get riled but this call really got on his nerves. I'm not sure he should've hung up on her, but what do you do when you've explained it over and over and the customer still won't give it up?
Leisure time fun!
As part of our security procedures customers can set up a security question we ask when they call in. If they give the right answer, we can access their account. One of the common questions used is: What's your favourite hobby?
I have gotten the following answers from callers:
1. Sex
2. Drinking
3. Nothing
4. Talking on the phone
5. My wife
We also have them set up a 6 digit PIN and it astounds me how many times I see it set as something like: 111111, 123456, 654321, 232323, 111222. It's like, do people not give two shits about the security of their information?
And finally the XXX rated call you've all been waiting for...
The SEX fiend!
SC: I need to find out about some charges that were on my daughters line for calls to Grenada, they were supposed to be investigating and I haven't heard anything.
Me: Well let me look into this...
I find over $1000 in charges on one of the lines for a number in Grenada, then...
Upon reviewing the account further, I find this note: No Network fraud found on acct. Grenada number is an Adult Entertainment LINE. Charges are valid
(hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....must stop...and compose self)
Me: According to this our Fraud team has investigated and there's no mistake, the calls are valid charges. They were made to an adult entertainment line.
SC: No way, that's wrong. You're wrong.
Me: Well this says I am right sir.
SC: Can I speak to a Supervisor please?
SUP: Those charges are valid sir. They've been investigated and the calls are being made to an adult entertainment line.
SC: What?
SUP: Phone sex sir, your daughter is calling a phone sex line.
(My mic is muted, I burst out laughing...)
SC: I asked her and she said she never uses that stuff, you need to take that off my bill!
SUP: Well there's a lot of usage here, it just couldn't be accidental. She was using these adult services.
SC: Either you credit back these charges right now or I'll call my lawyer!
SUP: You are welcome to seek legal counsel sir but the charges are valid.
SC: Fine, see you in court! *click*
For the rest of the day, the call became referred to as the "red light" call, by the end of the day I think everyone on my team had heard the story.
It's 10PM, do you know who your daughter's getting off with over the phone?
Ah, what a great call.
And so ends another week of insanity in the customer service department. I wonder how many brain cells I lost this time around?
On the band news side I still don't think I'm paid enough to deal with this kind of ashattery.
Me: Call Center Samurai Master
SC: well you know
Well, then...
SC: I do hope you're going to treat me better than the last person I spoke. It was a supervisor as a matter of fact and I sincerely hope that supervisor is somewhere on the bottom of the atlantic.
(I'll try and be sure to stay on your good side...)
the Reverse SC
This guy was rather interesting. I call him the reverse SC because he was annoyingly NICE, so we'll call him ANG for Annoying Nice guy.
Observe:
Me: Ok your payment extension is in and everything else looks good. Anything else I can do for you today?
ANG: You know, I love you guys. This customer service is fantastic. Never once have I had a problem, never once man. I've convinced 7 people I know to switch to your company. I should get a commission for selling your phones!
Me: Uh, well.. (You could always apply at one of our stores, but I can assure your spirit would be promptly shattered)
ANG: Can I speak to you supervisor? I want to tell her what a great job you did!
(Note: All I did for this guy was give him a few more days to pay his bill)
Me: Certainly, one moment.
ANG: Some people complain about you guys but every time I call in I get terrific service, like seriously I can't say enough about it. You actually treat people well and all.
Sup gets on call, I can only hear what she says.
Sup: That's great sir, I'm glad he was able to solve your problem...yes we do work very hard to please our customers...No you probably can't get commission for that...Can you sell our phones?...Well, we do very much value our customers...
Sup must've been on with him for 15 minutes. Like I said the guy was really nice, but it was just a simple call, did it have to turn into a 23 minute speech from him about how great our company was. He sounded like he'd been brainwashed or something.
Hell hath no fury...
Background: This woman had a temporary credit on her account, which means we remove a charge from the account for a certain period of time, then reverse it back on. They are used to restore service in advance of a payment.
SC: My fuckin bill said $81 and I paid that, why the hell you saying I'm $84 past due!
Me: Well I see there was a temporary credit that reversed for $170
SC: Yeah I had a temporary credit for $170, but I paid the $170
Me: Yes but you still had an outstanding balance when the $170 was paid, that's what's showing now.
SC: I ain't have no balance bitch! I paid my bill last month.
Me: Ma'am let me explain, we gave you a temp credit. You made a payment. Temp credit reversed back to the acct, you still owe part of that $170 we temped you.
SC: I paid that motherfucking bill! I ain't paying a damned penny more, get me your Supervisor.
Me: Very well, one moment.
(I was waiting on a sup, but suddenly I heard my own Sup's voice come on the line, evidently he'd been monitoring this call for training reasons)
SUP: My name is Bill, you asked for a Supervisor, what can I help you with?
SC: Yeah I asked for you bitch! You're trying to make me pay money I don't owe! I don't owe no motherfuckin $80!
SUP: Well what happened ma'am was we gave you a temp credit of $170, you then paid $170. This meant $340 was credited against your account, but only $170 was your payment, the other was the temp credit that later reversed.
SC: I got a damned bill for $80 and I paid that!
SUP: Yes ma'am, the temporary credit was still in effect when the bill came out, that's why it only said $80. If you review your past few months bills you'll likely see where the charges are coming from.
SC: What you just put random fucking charges on people's bills?? Don't give me that shit, I ain't owe no $81 I'm telling you right now.
(SUP repeats explanation approximately 8 times, with SC getting more pissed off each time)
SC: GODDAMN IT! You stupid motherfucker! I ain't owe no 80 motherfuckin dollars! I paid my damned bill!
SUP: Ma'am I am not explaining it to you again and if you continue to use profanity I will disconnect this call.
SC: Oh hell no you won't asshole!
SUP: Ma'am, I --
SC: Come on motherfucker, this is bullshit, you think I got all the time in the world to sit on this phone and argue with your bitch ass? I ain't got time for that!
SUP: Ma'am, if
SC: I don't you anything, NOTHING! Not a single fucking penny! You hear me nigga? Not a DAMNED THING!!
At that point the sup walked over to my station (he was at his desk taking the call) and pressed the button on my call box to HANG UP the call, then told me "just put in the notes the call dropped". I was like but the Sup is the boss, I should also mention he's a 25 year old white guy.
My sup doesn't usually get riled but this call really got on his nerves. I'm not sure he should've hung up on her, but what do you do when you've explained it over and over and the customer still won't give it up?
Leisure time fun!
As part of our security procedures customers can set up a security question we ask when they call in. If they give the right answer, we can access their account. One of the common questions used is: What's your favourite hobby?
I have gotten the following answers from callers:
1. Sex
2. Drinking
3. Nothing
4. Talking on the phone
5. My wife
We also have them set up a 6 digit PIN and it astounds me how many times I see it set as something like: 111111, 123456, 654321, 232323, 111222. It's like, do people not give two shits about the security of their information?
And finally the XXX rated call you've all been waiting for...
The SEX fiend!
SC: I need to find out about some charges that were on my daughters line for calls to Grenada, they were supposed to be investigating and I haven't heard anything.
Me: Well let me look into this...
I find over $1000 in charges on one of the lines for a number in Grenada, then...
Upon reviewing the account further, I find this note: No Network fraud found on acct. Grenada number is an Adult Entertainment LINE. Charges are valid
(hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....must stop...and compose self)
Me: According to this our Fraud team has investigated and there's no mistake, the calls are valid charges. They were made to an adult entertainment line.
SC: No way, that's wrong. You're wrong.
Me: Well this says I am right sir.
SC: Can I speak to a Supervisor please?
SUP: Those charges are valid sir. They've been investigated and the calls are being made to an adult entertainment line.
SC: What?
SUP: Phone sex sir, your daughter is calling a phone sex line.
(My mic is muted, I burst out laughing...)
SC: I asked her and she said she never uses that stuff, you need to take that off my bill!
SUP: Well there's a lot of usage here, it just couldn't be accidental. She was using these adult services.
SC: Either you credit back these charges right now or I'll call my lawyer!
SUP: You are welcome to seek legal counsel sir but the charges are valid.
SC: Fine, see you in court! *click*
For the rest of the day, the call became referred to as the "red light" call, by the end of the day I think everyone on my team had heard the story.
It's 10PM, do you know who your daughter's getting off with over the phone?
Ah, what a great call.
And so ends another week of insanity in the customer service department. I wonder how many brain cells I lost this time around?
Comment