Drunk Homeless Lady

[customersruinmylife]

7pm. A customer comes up to the bar.

C: I think a woman is trapped in a cubicle in the ladies room.
Me: OK then, I'll send someone in there.

I sent a female co-worker in there. CW described the conversation as this.

CW: Are you OK in there ma'am?
SC: Yes! I'm fine.
CW: OK we were just making sure, a customer was concerned about you.
SC: I'm just doing the toilet. I'm fine.

8pm. Another customer comes up to the bar.

C: A lady has been in the toilets for a REALLY long time.

I sent CW in again. CW said she was in the same cubicle, but was having a phone conversation. CW left her to it.

9pm. The same customer comes up to the bar.

C: She's still in there!

Me and CW go into the ladies.

Me: Are you OK in their ma'am?
SC: Yes! I'mmmmm finnne.

She was drunk. Completely slurring.

Me: Are you sure? Aren't you ready to come out now?
SC: I'm trying to pee! Can't I pee in peace?

I tell CW to check on her every 20 minutes.

11pm It's getting near closing, and we are worried because she is STILL in there.

CW and me return to the ladies.

Me: Ma'am we are starting to close. Are you OK in there?
SC: How many times! I am fine!
Me: Ma'am you've been in there for over four hours now.
SC: I'm doing the toilet!
Me: Ma'am you were doing the toilet at 7pm. Are you quite sure you are OK?
SC: Yes! I'm fine! What are you going to do? Call the police on someone for doing the toilet?
Me: Ma'am, we are closing. You need to leave.
SC: I'm doing the toilet!
Me: Ma'am, I'm giving you ten minutes. If you are not out by then, I will open the door from the outside and remove you.

Believe me, I REALLY didn't want to do that.

Ten minutes passed. She was STILL in there.

Me: OK ma'am, I'm opening the door.
SC: I'm doing a pee! I'm doing a pee!

I open the door. She has turned the cubicle into her own personal bedroom, complete with sleeping bag, pillows and a lot of empty bottle of cider!

Me: I suggest you leave before I call the police.

She stumbles out the cubicle, completely drunk, swaying and wags her finger at me.

SC: I don't have anywhere else to go! Where can I go?
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't know. We have to close and I need to lock up.

She screeched at me, it was completely incomprehensable for about ten minutes, very slowly gathering her things and walking out. When she got outside, she just stood there, looking completely bemused, drunk and seemed to have no idea where she was.

Did she seriously think she could hide in there and that we would not check the toilets at the end of the night?

[Meegz]

You don't have to go home but you can't stay here

At least if you were going to hide and stay there don't make yourself noticed.

But I guess its good she WAS dumb enough and made herself noticed for you.

[greensinestro]

That's a very interesting story. I like camping out, but a public bathroom is definitely not the place I would have chosen.

When I worked for Bellsouth, long before strict security measures were put into place, they had this homeless guy who was living in the basement of the building! They had lockers and showers there for the loading dock employees, and in the evening, this guy would mosey on in, completely unnoticed because he disguised himself as one of the workers. This guy would go in there, and use the showers and facilities, then would leave in the wee hours of the morning before the other employees arrived. This happened for two years before he was finally discovered! Whoever found him saw his sleeping bag, pillow, change of clothes, everything needed to live. Damnedest thing I ever heard of.

[LifeCarnie]

You didn't hear about the guy living in the parking garage at The Providence Place Mall in Providence, RI?

He had converted an unused modular storage container into a fully furnished apartment, with electricity, cable, and internet.

Apparently he had been living there for over a year before anyone from the mall caught on.

[Tria]

SC: I'm just doing the toilet. I'm fine.

My mind went to a scary place....

[Peppergirl]

What the heck does 'doing the toilet' mean? Was she trying to buy extra time by claiming to be cleaning it or something?

And wow, I guess she was planning to stay there all night. The nerve of you, not letting her stay there while you locked her in.

[LifeCarnie]

What the heck does 'doing the toilet' mean?

One of those people who doesn't realize everyone poops or pees, tinkles, whizzes, or does a number two. So it's embarassing to them to even mention such things. Even when they're camping out in the commode stall.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

What the heck does 'doing the toilet' mean? Was she trying to buy extra time by claiming to be cleaning it or something?

I don't think I wanna know for sure. I have a vivid imagination.

Easy there Freleigh. Get your mind out of the gutter.

[Boozy]

Me: I suggest you leave before I call the police.
She stumbles out the cubicle, completely drunk, swaying and wags her finger at me.
SC: I don't have anywhere else to go! Where can I go?
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't know. We have to close and I need to lock up.

I would have called the police, I think. The lady doesn't sound like she was all there in the head, you know?

The cops would have known where the nearest shelter was and taken her there. She may not have gotten any long term help, but at least she'd have been safe for the night.

[dougiezerts]

SC: I don't have anywhere else to go! Where can I go?
Me--To an AA meeting!

[PepperElf]

My mind went to a scary place....

so did mine.

[Retail Associate]

"You go now you here FOUR HOUR!!"

That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time! Thanks for the giggles badgegirl007!

.

[Becks]

My mind went to a scary place....

Mine, too.

Isn't it great sometimes?

[Slow-Jo]

i was locking up for the night and i asked one of my employees to turn off the lights in the washroom.

a min later he come running back white as a ghost, and tells me theres a dead body in there. i asked him how he new he was dead and he said they he pushed him with his foot and the guy didn't move.
so i go in there to check it out. the guy was all grimy, looked like someone you didn't want to meet in an ally alone at night. so needless to say my instincts said "danger" and i did what my employee did. i nudged him. with my foot. a lil hard.

he didn't respond. thankfully we have a coffee shop across the road and there was a police car there. i sent the employee over there to get the cop while i watched over my dead customer.

make a long story not so long, the guy wasn't actually dead just VERY drunk. i guess he passed out in there and we didn't check to see if someone was in the washroom before we lock the front doors. lesson learned.

[Broomjockey]

"You go now you here FOUR HOUR!!"

I loved that comedian. "You so biiiig. You eat broccori!"

More on-topic
At one theatre in the chain I was with originally, apparently a guy DID die in the washroom, and the theatre was sued because the washrooms weren't checked as often as they should have been, and had he been found sooner, he probably would havel lived, which led to the managers cracking down on skipped washroom checks. Any guesses on how long that one lasted?