Here's an example of what coming into my resteraunt is like:
Buffet:
(days) 11-1:30 / 5 - 7:30 || door || wall
So, its a little hard to miss.
A-hyuck!
In walks three adults, two children. All arrive in a small car.
RingLeader: We want the buffet and we have two adults and three kids.
Me: I'm sorry, but our bufft closed at 7:30. I do have a very large menu for you to peruse and would love to tell you about the specials, which--
RL: We got two adults and three kids and we want some cheese pizza and some ranch and--
Me: Ma'am, our buffet is closed. Would you like to order from the menu?
RL: HMPH! We going to Pizza Hut! (which closed two hours ago)
Billybobjoe a-hyucked until his face was red, to the delight of the Ring Leader. Your obviously 20-something... son? lover? (judging by the children with her) is not eligible for the kid's price.
SUPERBOWLPMGBBQ
Oh the phone with a raspy gentleman.
Me: And what can I do for you?
RG: Well, what's a pepperoni beast gonna run me?
Me: Just pepperoni on the whole thing?
RG: Yeah.
Me: Well, if you get it regular price its $21.85. If you're interested in our 2008 specials, you can have it at $20.08.
RG: Okay, okay. I can order more than one at that price?
Me: Absolutely.
RG: Cool, man... What time do you run tomorrow?
Me: We open at 11, and close at 2.
RG: ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!??!?!??!
Me: We open/close the same times every Sunday.
This is where the redneck gene bubbles into his brain.
RG: I'M GONNA BE A-SITTIN HERE ON THIS COUCH WITH NO PIZZA! YOU TELL YOUR MANAGER HE'S A COBB-SWALLOWIN--
Me: My manager is a woman, sir.
RG: BY GOD NOW WE GOT FEMALES RUNNIN THA FOOD! I AIN'T TAKIN IT! I AIN'T TAKIN IT! MY DANG SUPER BOWL SUNDAY PMGBBQ IMMA PWN YOUR NEWB ARSE UP THA CREEK LIL MISSY!
*click*
I took a few liberties with the leet internet speak. But you get the jist.
Silent Treatment
In walks another group, a half hour late for the buffet.
Woman, Man, and Me.
W: We want the buffet.
M:Yes, the buffet.
Me: (Tweedle dumb and dumber) It closed at 7:30, sorry. Is there anything I ca--
I had to stop. Have you ever watched the Children of the Corn? They put that funny look in their eyes at mine. I looked back forth between them with a confuddled look on my face, I'm sure. But they just STOOD there.
Me: I could make you anything you'd like off of the... the menu.........
My manager beside me (previously on the phone) was now subject to the silent treatment, as well. I think she felt their fiery hatred which burned like that of Gravekeeper's DEATH TO AMERICA guy.
Me: Or you'd like something to go?
M + W : .....
Me: ...
Manager: ...
So we all stood there and stared around a bit. At this point it was just silly. So I laughed at them. And they literally, backed out of the door.
Regular Odd
There's this guy that comes in. We call him Jason (see: horror films) but I have no clue if its really his name. He'lll tell you all the time when he orders, about how he used to be a renouned chef, cooking for celebrities, before hitting his head and losing his spatials and memory. He's now so traumatized, he must use his government-granted-first-of-the-month money to buy food from us all month long.
He had finished this story to Joss, the perky gidget of a cashier.
Joss: So, whatcha want, Jason?
Jas: The buffet?
Joss:With a drink or water?
Jas: Drink-- NO, water. Yes. But a hoagie. A chicken melt. Everything. With everything on it.
Joss: With the buffet?
Jas: YES NO YES... NO......................................
Joss/Me: O_0''
Jas: NO... yes. The hoagie. The sammich.
Joss: Okay, Just the hoa-
Jas: YES THE HOAGIE.
Okay, Mr. Decision. I don't know hat magic juice the government (and my taxes) have paid for you to ingest, but I hope the hell you finish them elsewhere.
Aside, he didn't come back for his hoagie for an hour.
EDIT: I forgot one.
This woman used to call in every Thursday, for a medium supreme to be delivered not before, or after, 12:45. She would not accept the pizza ONE MINUTE before or after. I mean rip you a new one military style (and yes, I've seen the real thing). This is the story of her OWNAGE by Manager J.
She (WW) called in one day, and complained her pizza was three minutes early. (On time according to our clock), and Manager J (MJ) explained it to her, along with common sense of the exact time being hard to get.
MJ: So, is there anything I can do for you?
WW: Well you can make this right! This is ridiculous!!
MJ: Ma'am, I assure you we did everything we could to make sure it was to you--
WW: I want to talk to one of the women! You men know NOTHING about courtesy!!!!!!!
MJ: You are a rude, snobbish woman. And I will no longer personally take your order. If anyone else in my store does not want to, they are now allowed to hang up on you.
WW: WHY YOU
*click*
Now, she calls in every day three times an hour after that. Guess what happened then?
MJ: Mrs. WW, this is getting silly.
WW: RAARARAA ARARARAAA, etc. incoherent rant.
MJ: *click*
Again:
MJ: What can I do--
WW: *click*
And:
WW: I want to order a medium:
Me: *click*
And so on:
WW: You have my address? Right? Did you hear me--
Manager D: *click*
Seeing a pattern?
Buffet:
(days) 11-1:30 / 5 - 7:30 || door || wall
So, its a little hard to miss.
A-hyuck!
In walks three adults, two children. All arrive in a small car.
RingLeader: We want the buffet and we have two adults and three kids.
Me: I'm sorry, but our bufft closed at 7:30. I do have a very large menu for you to peruse and would love to tell you about the specials, which--
RL: We got two adults and three kids and we want some cheese pizza and some ranch and--
Me: Ma'am, our buffet is closed. Would you like to order from the menu?
RL: HMPH! We going to Pizza Hut! (which closed two hours ago)
Billybobjoe a-hyucked until his face was red, to the delight of the Ring Leader. Your obviously 20-something... son? lover? (judging by the children with her) is not eligible for the kid's price.
SUPERBOWLPMGBBQ
Oh the phone with a raspy gentleman.
Me: And what can I do for you?
RG: Well, what's a pepperoni beast gonna run me?
Me: Just pepperoni on the whole thing?
RG: Yeah.
Me: Well, if you get it regular price its $21.85. If you're interested in our 2008 specials, you can have it at $20.08.
RG: Okay, okay. I can order more than one at that price?
Me: Absolutely.
RG: Cool, man... What time do you run tomorrow?
Me: We open at 11, and close at 2.
RG: ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!??!?!??!
Me: We open/close the same times every Sunday.
This is where the redneck gene bubbles into his brain.
RG: I'M GONNA BE A-SITTIN HERE ON THIS COUCH WITH NO PIZZA! YOU TELL YOUR MANAGER HE'S A COBB-SWALLOWIN--
Me: My manager is a woman, sir.
RG: BY GOD NOW WE GOT FEMALES RUNNIN THA FOOD! I AIN'T TAKIN IT! I AIN'T TAKIN IT! MY DANG SUPER BOWL SUNDAY PMGBBQ IMMA PWN YOUR NEWB ARSE UP THA CREEK LIL MISSY!
*click*
I took a few liberties with the leet internet speak. But you get the jist.
Silent Treatment
In walks another group, a half hour late for the buffet.
Woman, Man, and Me.
W: We want the buffet.
M:Yes, the buffet.
Me: (Tweedle dumb and dumber) It closed at 7:30, sorry. Is there anything I ca--
I had to stop. Have you ever watched the Children of the Corn? They put that funny look in their eyes at mine. I looked back forth between them with a confuddled look on my face, I'm sure. But they just STOOD there.
Me: I could make you anything you'd like off of the... the menu.........
My manager beside me (previously on the phone) was now subject to the silent treatment, as well. I think she felt their fiery hatred which burned like that of Gravekeeper's DEATH TO AMERICA guy.
Me: Or you'd like something to go?
M + W : .....
Me: ...
Manager: ...
So we all stood there and stared around a bit. At this point it was just silly. So I laughed at them. And they literally, backed out of the door.
Regular Odd
There's this guy that comes in. We call him Jason (see: horror films) but I have no clue if its really his name. He'lll tell you all the time when he orders, about how he used to be a renouned chef, cooking for celebrities, before hitting his head and losing his spatials and memory. He's now so traumatized, he must use his government-granted-first-of-the-month money to buy food from us all month long.
He had finished this story to Joss, the perky gidget of a cashier.
Joss: So, whatcha want, Jason?
Jas: The buffet?
Joss:With a drink or water?
Jas: Drink-- NO, water. Yes. But a hoagie. A chicken melt. Everything. With everything on it.
Joss: With the buffet?
Jas: YES NO YES... NO......................................
Joss/Me: O_0''
Jas: NO... yes. The hoagie. The sammich.
Joss: Okay, Just the hoa-
Jas: YES THE HOAGIE.
Okay, Mr. Decision. I don't know hat magic juice the government (and my taxes) have paid for you to ingest, but I hope the hell you finish them elsewhere.
Aside, he didn't come back for his hoagie for an hour.
EDIT: I forgot one.
This woman used to call in every Thursday, for a medium supreme to be delivered not before, or after, 12:45. She would not accept the pizza ONE MINUTE before or after. I mean rip you a new one military style (and yes, I've seen the real thing). This is the story of her OWNAGE by Manager J.
She (WW) called in one day, and complained her pizza was three minutes early. (On time according to our clock), and Manager J (MJ) explained it to her, along with common sense of the exact time being hard to get.
MJ: So, is there anything I can do for you?
WW: Well you can make this right! This is ridiculous!!
MJ: Ma'am, I assure you we did everything we could to make sure it was to you--
WW: I want to talk to one of the women! You men know NOTHING about courtesy!!!!!!!
MJ: You are a rude, snobbish woman. And I will no longer personally take your order. If anyone else in my store does not want to, they are now allowed to hang up on you.
WW: WHY YOU
*click*
Now, she calls in every day three times an hour after that. Guess what happened then?
MJ: Mrs. WW, this is getting silly.
WW: RAARARAA ARARARAAA, etc. incoherent rant.
MJ: *click*
Again:
MJ: What can I do--
WW: *click*
And:
WW: I want to order a medium:
Me: *click*
And so on:
WW: You have my address? Right? Did you hear me--
Manager D: *click*
Seeing a pattern?
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