"Would you like me to fire her?"

[customersruinmylife]

Got a surprise today. My manager sent me to another bar! His friend is a manager and he reeeeeeeeeally needed the cover so he sent me up. Felt a bit flattered when he said he wanted to show me off to his friend.

Mood changed dramtically. The customers were EVIL. And I mean, I have never encountered so many miserable and rude people. My bar is a young person/family/student bar. This bar was an old man haunt, the average age was probably about 70.

I could actually write A LOT about the SC's at this bar, but I'm tired and want to forget today happened. But I'll leave you with the last customer I had to deal with, and at this point, I had had enough. I thought "What the hell, I'm never gonna work here again, I might as well say what I'm thinking!"

I was working with a girl who is full time there. She was very friendly and chipper with the miserable old bastards that drank there. She was in the middle of serving a customer, when she accidentally dropped one of the drinks, spilling it all over the bar top. A slight, and I mean SLIGHT amount splashed onto his coat.

Girl: Oh my God, I am so sorry.

She ran and returned with a cloth and napkins.

Girl: Here, let me clean that up.
SC: Don't worry about it.
Girl: OK, but your drinks are on me right? I am really sorry.
SC: It's OK. Really, it's fine.

He was smiling and everything, I thought it was fine.

He returned.

SC: I want to speak to the manager.
Girl: Oh, I'm sorry he's had to pop out for a bit.
SC: I want to speak to someone about what you did.
Girl: Well the only other person here is...

They look at me. I went over to the guys table and sat down with him, he was also with his wife, who was just as miserable as he was. I don't know exactly what they were going to achieve speaking to me, seeing as I didn't work there and was leaving in 5 minutes.

Me: Hi there, you wanted to speak to someone?
SC: Yes, SHE spilt a drink on me.
Me: OK then... I saw what happened... what can I do to make this better.

His wife joins in.

Wife: That's a £300 coat you know! Ruined! £300!

Yes...apparently white wine is capable of staining a black coat.

Me: OK...I still don't know what it is you want me to do. Afterall, she did give you free drinks as an apology.
SC: I don't think we're being clear enough....this....is....a...£300...coat!
Me: I'm sure it is sir.
Wife: So what are you going to do about it?
Me: Well...I suppose I could call her over here and fire her in front of you.
Wife: Wha...what???
Me: Will that make you feel better?
SC: No...we....we....we don't want her fired.
Me: Well it seems to me that's the only option left available.
SC: No..we wanted to complain about what happened! We don't want her fired!
Wife: You don't have to be so mean!
Me: Well I just don't understand what more I can do for you! You recieved free drinks. That's your compensation. You accepted it. And you were fine and told her everything was OK. I'm not going to give you money to clean out some white wine, which you can't even see by the way.
SC: The way you talk to people is disgusting.
Me: Fantastic. It's 8, I'm going home!

I said goodbye to the girl and hello to the person taking over from me and walked out the door. I NEVER want to set foot in that bar again! I told my manager what happened and told him if he sent me there again I would punch him in the face and quit. He laughed at that.

[rerant]

If you knew the girl better it would have been great if you could have called her over and fake-fired her in a big scene, then turned to the couple and said, "There? Are you happy now? Has everything been squared away?" and made them feel just horrid.

[theredbaron47]

Some people are just miserable bastards. Plain and simple. Not a thing in the world you can do to change that.

I love how you handled that crotchety fucktrumpet.

What I don't get is when you called them on their BS, they go "we just wanted to complain!" It's like, yeah, and what were you hoping to accomplish by complaining?

Some people. If he was one of the ~70 year old men there, I'm betting he was just as cranky when he was 30.

[customersruinmylife]

It was unbelieveable. One customer actually said "Who the fuck are you?" when I went to serve him.

Another asked me for his "usual" and then yelled at me when I didn't know what it was.

A problem I was having was that I kept quoting the prices of my bar, when the one I was workng at was slightly cheaper. I thought one SC was going to stab me when I asked for five pence extra than what he usually pays.

I was trying to talk the girl into moving to my bar. She doesn't deserve shit like that.

[cinema guy]

CRML, I love the way you will take no s from anyone (and can get away with it).

[chainedbarista]

SC: I don't think we're being clear enough....this....is....a...£300...coat!

well, la dee dah, mister boozehound; as IF you've never spilt any on it yourself.

i'm sure it cannot be saved by a bit of spot treatment, which would cost a slight bit, or if you're a real rat bastard, a full dry cleaning.

seriously, it's a COAT, it's not going to melt, or fold up, fall off and blow away. get it cleaned, get over it and get on with the rest of your pointless, miserable existence.

[bainsidhe]

Me: Well...I suppose I could call her over here and fire her in front of you.
Wife: Wha...what???

~sniffle~ What a terrific line. I'm sorry your day was so sucky....yet...I'm so glad we profited from it.

[edible_hat]

If you knew the girl better it would have been great if you could have called her over and fake-fired her in a big scene, then turned to the couple and said, "There? Are you happy now? Has everything been squared away?" and made them feel just horrid.

If I ever become a retail manager and a situation like that arises, I'd do the fake firing followed by "OK, that leaves me with a vacancy... Andybody need a job? [person I just fake fired]? I've got a great reference from your last employer, you're hired."

[smileyeagle1021]

I love how you handled that crotchety fucktrumpet.

i like how you swear, I can learn from you...

[lordlundar]

If I ever become a retail manager and a situation like that arises, I'd do the fake firing followed by "OK, that leaves me with a vacancy... Andybody need a job? [person I just fake fired]? I've got a great reference from your last employer, you're hired."

A friend of mine was in a similar situation when he worked at a video store. He was getting fired and rehired on a regular basis. One time it was a "*friend*, you are so fired you're hired again."

[powerboy]

I got fake fired once. At the time of it happening, I didn't know it was fake. I clocked out and then got told I was not fired. And since I clocked out, they would fix the time clock to where I would have left at the usual time.

[Becks]

If I ever become a retail manager and a situation like that arises, I'd do the fake firing followed by "OK, that leaves me with a vacancy... Andybody need a job? [person I just fake fired]? I've got a great reference from your last employer, you're hired."

Can I work for you when the time comes?

[princess4life]

There are ways to fake fire someone even if you are not real close to them. Here is an example

Me: Wait here I am going to take care of this right now. {walk over to co-worker}
Hey so those guys are real asshats and are demanding compensation, I am going to make them think I fired you so act really pissed like you are yelling at me and point at them a couple times.
CoWorker: What you want me to point at the couple over there like this and pretend to be really mad. I can do that do you think this will work?
Me: yeah it should work
CoWorker: {still acting pissed} What if they come in to this bar again and see me here
Me: if you want you can come work at my bar if you want to or tell them something like you asked for your job back and they gave it back but put you on probabtion, not storm out the front door
CoWorker: FINE {throws arms in air and storms out}
Me: {walks back over to SC souple} problem is taken care of I have fired her so there is your compenstaion she is now going to have to apply for welfare to take care of her 3 kids.
SC: What?!?!?! No that isn't what I wanted
Me: You demanded something be done and it has been done I can't chase her down and offer her job back.

[theredbaron47]

i like how you swear, I can learn from you...

Why thank you!

However, I cannot be the one to take credit for my blessed ( har har. . . ) tongue, sadly. My most creative wit and tongue come from none other than Jester, GK, and IPF, all three of whom are separately creative and silver-tongued ( in that foul-mouthed way, at times ) enough that in any given day, I believe they each sneeze more brain cells than the collective city of Pittsburgh uses on election day.

That is all.