Tweet
Not much going on in the night stocking world of grocery, but I was able to get a few gems out of an otherwise lackluster couple of weeks.
SW = Sucky Woman
SM = Sucky Man
ME =
CW = Coworker
Grumble Grumble
The last hour before closing, the only lanes open are the self-checkout lanes. It's easy to see this, since there are no cashiers except for the girl at the self-checkout station, who's sole purpose is to make sure no one accidentally maims themselves trying to scan something. Another obvious sign is that no other check lanes have their lights on.
SW: *Ahem!*
ME: Can I help you?
SW: Where am I supposed to check out?
ME: The self-checkout lanes.
Not a minute later, I hear the gal bothering one of my coworkers who is stocking 1 lane over from me.
SW: *Ahem!*
CW: Yes?
SW: I need to check out, and there's no one over there. I need someone to help me!
CW: Okay (I could actually hear her rolling her eyes).
She then paged the girl to the self-checkout. She was probably in the cash office or something.
And then, not 30 second after that...
SW: THERE'S STILL NO ONE THERE!
CW: Sigh....
After paging again, the girl went to the self-checkout station. I had to see what was going on, and unsurprisingly, the woman scanned her crap, bagged it, paid for it, and left without needing any assistance whatsoever. She then proceeded outside, but alas, the store closed and we locked the door behind her before we could help her find her car. With any luck she either froze to death in the parking lot, or was devoured by the pack of feral cats that roam the lot all night. Or both.
Yes, I Really Am This Evil
This occurred like 2 days after Heath Ledger's death. My apologies to his family for the following:
I went in to get my check. Unfortunately, we have to pick them up at the customer service desk, which means waiting for customers complaining about something, buying lottery tickets, or mailing stuff. A Not-Sucky-Woman (NSW) was buying lottery tickets, and behind her was a middle-aged man in big goofy glasses. Behind him, was yours truly.
SM: Did you hear about this woman that won $80,000 in the lottery, and died the next day?
NSW: ...... No, I didn't.
SM: Yeah, that would be something, wouldn't it?
NSW: ....
SM: Well, good luck!
He then bought some tickets of his own, then he decided to turn around to see if there was anyone to annoy behind him. I happened to be wearing a T-Shirt with the Venom symbol on it.
SM: Hey, did you know there's a new Batman movie coming out?
ME: Yeah. (Cause, you know, Spider Man and Batman are almost the same thing).
SM: I bet it's going to be really good!
ME: Probably.
SM: Have you seen the preview? There's a new one online.
ME (trying to make his head explode with my mind): Yeah.
SM: I can't wait!
ME: You want to know the ending? The Joker died.
Yeah, I went there. I have no soul.
You Can't Make this Stuff Up
SM: This has been bothering me for awhile.
ME: Hmm?
SM: What's the difference between pancakes and waffles?
ME: ....
Congratulations, sir! You have claimed the title of Heavyweight Dumbass Champion of the World! Many have come before you, and while many more will eventually come after you, your induction will be the thing of legend for generations to come. You were holding a box of each in your hands, and they even had pictures of said breakfast treats on them, clearly presenting the answer to your longtime query. Wear your Badge of Shame with pride, dumbass.
Can't wait til Monday, when I start my Corrections Officer training
SW = Sucky Woman
SM = Sucky Man
ME =
CW = Coworker
Grumble Grumble
The last hour before closing, the only lanes open are the self-checkout lanes. It's easy to see this, since there are no cashiers except for the girl at the self-checkout station, who's sole purpose is to make sure no one accidentally maims themselves trying to scan something. Another obvious sign is that no other check lanes have their lights on.
SW: *Ahem!*
ME: Can I help you?
SW: Where am I supposed to check out?
ME: The self-checkout lanes.
Not a minute later, I hear the gal bothering one of my coworkers who is stocking 1 lane over from me.
SW: *Ahem!*
CW: Yes?
SW: I need to check out, and there's no one over there. I need someone to help me!
CW: Okay (I could actually hear her rolling her eyes).
She then paged the girl to the self-checkout. She was probably in the cash office or something.
And then, not 30 second after that...
SW: THERE'S STILL NO ONE THERE!
CW: Sigh....
After paging again, the girl went to the self-checkout station. I had to see what was going on, and unsurprisingly, the woman scanned her crap, bagged it, paid for it, and left without needing any assistance whatsoever. She then proceeded outside, but alas, the store closed and we locked the door behind her before we could help her find her car. With any luck she either froze to death in the parking lot, or was devoured by the pack of feral cats that roam the lot all night. Or both.
Yes, I Really Am This Evil
This occurred like 2 days after Heath Ledger's death. My apologies to his family for the following:
I went in to get my check. Unfortunately, we have to pick them up at the customer service desk, which means waiting for customers complaining about something, buying lottery tickets, or mailing stuff. A Not-Sucky-Woman (NSW) was buying lottery tickets, and behind her was a middle-aged man in big goofy glasses. Behind him, was yours truly.
SM: Did you hear about this woman that won $80,000 in the lottery, and died the next day?
NSW: ...... No, I didn't.
SM: Yeah, that would be something, wouldn't it?
NSW: ....
SM: Well, good luck!
He then bought some tickets of his own, then he decided to turn around to see if there was anyone to annoy behind him. I happened to be wearing a T-Shirt with the Venom symbol on it.
SM: Hey, did you know there's a new Batman movie coming out?
ME: Yeah. (Cause, you know, Spider Man and Batman are almost the same thing).
SM: I bet it's going to be really good!
ME: Probably.
SM: Have you seen the preview? There's a new one online.
ME (trying to make his head explode with my mind): Yeah.
SM: I can't wait!
ME: You want to know the ending? The Joker died.
Yeah, I went there. I have no soul.
You Can't Make this Stuff Up
SM: This has been bothering me for awhile.
ME: Hmm?
SM: What's the difference between pancakes and waffles?
ME: ....
Congratulations, sir! You have claimed the title of Heavyweight Dumbass Champion of the World! Many have come before you, and while many more will eventually come after you, your induction will be the thing of legend for generations to come. You were holding a box of each in your hands, and they even had pictures of said breakfast treats on them, clearly presenting the answer to your longtime query. Wear your Badge of Shame with pride, dumbass.
Can't wait til Monday, when I start my Corrections Officer training
Comment