Is anybody in here psychic?

[CiggyStoreClerk]

Because according to a lot of my customers, I am.

I've been working in a cigarette store* the past 2.5 years, and it's set up so that I have to grab the merchandise for the customers. The reason it's like this is to prevent theft, but it's annoying nonetheless, as a lot of customers think I'm psychic just because of the store set up.

This is something I get a lot:
SC: Hi, yeah, can I have three please?

*blink blink*
Three what? Three packs? Three cartons? Three CASES?
Also, we have, and I've counted, 17 brands of cigarettes. All of these brands have two to three different flavors to them (i.e. full flavor, medium, light) We ALSO have loose tobacco for people who like to roll their own smokes.

So, the conversation is always the same and goes just like this.

Me = Obviously
SC = Take a guess

SC: I'll have three please.
Me: Ok...what kind?
SC: Oh, um...in the bags I guess (yes, we sell cigarettes in big ziplock type bags)
Me: *sigh* Ok, would you like Canadian or American?
SC: What's the difference?
Me: O_o One's Canadian and the other's American...
SC: Ok, I guess I'll take the Canadian then.
Me: Alright, brown or white
SC: What's the difference?
Me: (trying to not pull my hair out) Brown is full flavor, white is light.
SC: Ok, brown then.

On the flip side, there are the wonderful people who are very specific right off the bat. They'll say things like:
"Hi there. Can I have three cartons of the Canadian Brown Tips, and two cartons of the Canadian White Tips?"
I seriously want to hug these wonderful, wonderful people.

So, anybody else out there psychic?



*I live on a Native reservation. We have a bunch of cigarette stores on the rez, but, most of them aren't name brand cigarettes, and they're VERY cheap. All cartons are between $6 and $25, whereas off the rez, it's about $60 for a carton.

[blas]

I was supposed to be psychic, but didn't care enough. I didn't make enough money to tolerate the entitlement whore attitude I got from regular SCs. When they'd flounce in and grunt "Smokes!" I'd just stare at them.

[Shards]

The other day I was waiting in line to buy some sweets at my school's store (it's run by people in our entrepreneurship classes.) and the clerk asks the kid in front of me: "What would you like?", and he turns to me "I dunno... What do I want?" looking right at me. I was really tempted to say "Twelve butterfingers." Not because of anything specific about butterfingers, but more because they aren't nerds (my little addiction), and I kinda wanted to make him waste his money.

[chops]

I was supposed to be psychic, but didn't care enough. I didn't make enough money to tolerate the entitlement whore attitude I got from regular SCs. When they'd flounce in and grunt "Smokes!" I'd just stare at them.

Just like the way every customer in Clerks would say...

"Pack of cigarettes..."

[CiggyStoreClerk]

Ooh, forgot to post the conversation that followed.
Time to edit...

[d962831]

loads of these, they also say the name of a brand, then I bring it and they say "Oh not that kind, I wanted light, 100's, etc." I hate the expectant stare to, they'll say a brand name and nothing more.

Oh wait, wait let me work on reading you mind, right after I learn how to kill you with mine. =P sorry I had to steal that

[crashhelmet]

I've dealt with that as both a tech and a bartender. People would tell me their computer doesn't work and when I ask what's wrong, they say "I don't know" or "That's why I called you."

As a bartender, everytime someone I didn't know came up and asked for a "beer" or a "shot" I'd give them whatever I felt like giving them. Bottle of swill we can't sell, coming right up.

Crash Helmet

[Imogene]

"Smokes!"

"Well then, you didn't put it out correctly. Go back and stomp on it a bit."

[Bank Lady]

I get that all the time. SC permanently attached to their cell phone walks up and drops a check on the counter in front of me. Do I cash it? Deposit it? Half and half? Make a loan payment? If only my psychic powers would kick in already!

There's no winning in this situation either. If I deposit it, they wanted cash. If I cash it, they wanted to deposit. If I give them 20's, they wanted 50's and 10's. If I ask them what they want (perish the thought!) they flip out because I interrupted their phone call.

Bonus points if the customer comes through the drive, on their cell phone and rolls their window back up after dropping in the check. I've actually had to yell in the mic at customers to get their attention. Stupid SC's.

Darn it. Now I'm in a bad mood...Oooo brownies! All better.

[Monica]

I hate that they think we can read minds too. If I know that a brand comes in box or soft-pack, I always ask if they don't say what they want. I do this because of all the times that they would yell when I got them the hard pack and they wanted the soft pack. Don't get me started on the customers who don't know the difference bewteen regulars and 100's.

[edible_hat]

I have several regulars who just have to walk in and I know what brand, flavour, size they want. But that's because they only come to my store for the same thing. In one case five times a day (one cigar each time. I asked why doesn't he just buy a 10 pack every couple of days, he said if he did that he'd get through ten cigars in the time it takes him to smoke one now)

also, funny conversation with my store's owner:
owner: I'll just steal one of your cigars...
me: They're your cigars actually.
owner: So that's who's been stealing them! I'll punish myself by making myself smoke two of them! (takes two cigars) Take that, me!

[rerant]

I would just like to say that when I buy my cigarettes I ask for, "A small (or large) Players Light king size."
That's as specific as you can get.

And also that American cigarettes are foul, disgusting things.
The first thing I did when I got across the border from visiting NYC was demand we go to the duty free so I could get some proper cigarettes.

[RayvenQ]

Whenever I buy smokes, I always have a pre-planned sentence

"Hi can I have "AMOUNT OF PACKS" "SIZE OF PACK" "BRAND" please?"

So like "Hi, can I have a pack of 20 Richmond Superkings please?"

Believe it or not, having some Idea of what you want and then conveying that to the person who is serving you...actually works!

[chops]

I hate that they think we can read minds too. If I know that a brand comes in box or soft-pack, I always ask if they don't say what they want. I do this because of all the times that they would yell when I got them the hard pack and they wanted the soft pack. Don't get me started on the customers who don't know the difference bewteen regulars and 100's.

The smokers at Convenience Store Hell would always specify soft pack if they wanted soft pack; in the rare times they didn't specify one way or another ("Pack of Marlboro Lights in a box" was the most common thing I heard there) I would assume box. I had always assumed correctly, much to my surprise.

More on topic, there were always the paper buyers who'd slap change on the counter and walk away. If I dared ask what that was for so I could ring it correctly, I'd always get, "Paper." $DEITY forbid I ever ask what paper it was to make sure they're paying the right amount. How dare I question their integrity?

[CaroPhoenix]

I've never worked at a place that sold cigarettes, however, at the Gaming Store, I'm supposed to be psychic about those who think D&D is "EVIL".

Usually, it's someone who has a lost expression on their face, coming into our store. I greet them, they ask me what we sell (after ascertaining that we do not sell electronic video games or anything to do with all that). Then when I get to the RPG stuff ("....fantasy miniatures games, Role Playing Games like Dungeons & Dragons ...") I see them get all CBF and I'm like, "Whoa!" And they're like, "Oh, that is never mentioned." Um .. Yeah ...