The Jowly Jelly Belly Bitch

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

JJBB: (to me) Hey! You!

Not a good sign. I look up to find a rather fat lady with at least one extra chin who looks like she's consumed a few Jelly Bellies in her time..

Me: Can I help you with something?
JJBB: The Jelly Belly dispenser is broken. Fix it!

Our Jelly Belly dispenser takes up an entire endcap in the grocery department. It has bins filled with beans that you just take a scoop and fill your bag with. There are also dispensers on the top where you pull down a lever and the Jelly Bellies come down into your bag. One of these, the one with the 49 different assorted flavors, didn't have any jelly beans in the right hopper to fall down into the bag, but there were beans in it.

I proceeded to shake the malfunctioning bin a little bit without any success.

JJBB: Take it down! Take it off the dispenser and fix it!

As far as I know, we do not own the Jelly Belly dispenser; Jelly Belly does, and they have their own reps who service the dispenser, remove expired product and stock new product in the dispenser. So I'm not going to monkey around with something that is not store property, especially not when I have no idea how to disassemble it.

Me: We don't own the machine and I don't think I should be trying to take it apart. We have lots of other flavors for you to choose from.
JJBB: I want that one! Take the cover off so I can reach inside!

Yeah, that's real sanitary. I remain polite but firm.

Me: Unfortunately I cannot take the machine apart for you. I can go tell the service desk and management that there is a problem with the machine, so that the Jelly Belly representative can fix it on her next visit.
JJBB: Forget it, I'll do it myself. And I'll also tell them how rude and unhelpful you've been!

Gee thanks, at least they'll know I'm thought of often. Why is it I never get to help the people who will put in a good word about my service, but always get the people who want to run to management the second I tell them "no"?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Did it not occur to her that she could get a little bit from several other bins and make her own assortment?

Oh, wait, I forgot who we were talking about...never mind...

Jelly Belly makes the "Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans" for the Harry Potter merchandising empire...should give her some of them

[Toujin]

I though Jelly Bellies were supposed to be low calorie I think she's been eating more than just those....

I love Jelly Bellies myself, actually toured their factory in '06, but I wouldn't go that far to get them. I'm wondering why she couldn't just pick up a pre-packaged box or bag?

[Ree]

What difference does her weight or extra chins have to do with this story, other than to provide a mental picture of the woman?

I's also and irrelevant to the thread whether she has consumed something other than Jelly Bellies, or even if she's consumed too many jelly bellies.

Don't let her weight become the focus of the discussion, please.

[marasbaras]

It's easy to eat too many JBs. I toured the factory in early 2007. Oh man, at the end the samples ... tangerine, root beer ... SO SO SO SO SO GOOD.

Not like ordinary disgusting jelly beans. No, I hate those.

Jelly Bellies are amazing. They taste JUST LIKE the flavor they claim to be.

[flybye023]

It's easy to eat too many JBs. I toured the factory in early 2007. Oh man, at the end the samples ... tangerine, root beer ... SO SO SO SO SO GOOD.

Not like ordinary disgusting jelly beans. No, I hate those.

Jelly Bellies are amazing. They taste JUST LIKE the flavor they claim to be.

Well, the Starburst jelly beans are pretty good, although you're limited to fruit flavors.

Back OT, our grocery store has a dispenser for every flavor alone and since it's by weight, you can mix the flavors easily and nobody cares (plus the advantage that you can get only flavors you like. This lady couldn't have just done that?

[gunsage]

It's easy to eat too many JBs.

Amen to that! My first summer break at college I went back to Muncie Mall in Indiana near where I used to live with my friends and picked up 5 lbs of Jelly Bellies! Took me a week to finish off. Good stuff.

[chainedbarista]

slightly off topic, but eating too much of anything sugary will make you fat; the excess sugar gets converted to glycogen, which is stored as a fatty deposit.

multiply that over time and you get...

on topic; eww, she'll reach inside and get it herself? HELL NO; keep your nasty hamhands out of those bins, you freakin' pig.

people like this are why i no longer hit buffets; lack of caring over sanitary practices...just gross.

[csever01]

It's people like that who teach their kids through example. Then their kids never learn the meaning of the word "no," and before you know it, we have millions of JJBBs running around in the world.

[chainedbarista]

america's like that already; i've lost track of how many parents chug down a sugar laden drink chased by sugary pastries, while their offspring do the same.

why do we have so many health problems in this country...? i just don't know.

[BookstoreEscapee]

When I was in college our little fast foody place I worked at had a Jelly Belly bin...I think we had something like 20 flavors. And we had the recipe card hanging on the side, so we would try all the different recipes and make our own concoctions when we were bored.

[Alexandra]

You are what you eat, I guess....

My son doesn't seem to like pop, fine by me. He gets juice with no sugar added and I use Xylitol (not too much) instead of sugar. He also doesn't eat a lot of fast food. I also refuse to give him anything with aspartame because that can cause psychiatric disorders, like depression, ADHD, you name it.

Now back on the subject...what an ignoramus!

[Andara Bledin]

My first summer break at college I went back to Muncie Mall in Indiana.

I read that as "Munchie Mall" the first time through.

^-.-^

[Ironclad Alibi]

Thanks guys, now I want some Jelly Bellies, and its 12 minutes before midnight. Who's going to open their store so I can get my Jelly Bellies fix? I'll only be a couple of minutes? Pleeeease? My Easter (tomorrow) will be ruined if I don't get my Jelly Bellies tonight. Oh, come on, I'm your bestest customer. If you don't, I'm never going to shop here again (see you tomorrow night).

Did I leave anything out?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Thanks guys, now I want some Jelly Bellies, and its 12 minutes before midnight. Who's going to open their store so I can get my Jelly Bellies fix? I'll only be a couple of minutes? Pleeeease? My Easter (tomorrow) will be ruined if I don't get my Jelly Bellies tonight. Oh, come on, I'm your bestest customer. If you don't, I'm never going to shop here again (see you tomorrow night).

Did I leave anything out?

"I'm going to complain to your manager! Or corporate!"

Rookie....