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I got a few people in my computer labs that are regulars. A few are a pleasure to work with, and others... well, just read on.
1.) 'Lickity Lesbian'
Perhaps not the most politically correct name, but it seems so fitting. I don't know if she is a lesbian, but she qualifies: Short hair, short but muscular build, mannish appearance, and flannel shirts. That is, of course, if you have a politically incorrect mind that loves stereotypes, such as mine
Anywho, LL gets on most of my co-workers nerves (including my own) due to the fact that she asks a lot of questions. Now, this normally would be no big deal, but this is also where the 'lickity' comes into play; she licks her lips. Alot. Very loudly. Very wetly.
Is that even a real discriptor?
Anyway, we find it quite disgusting. You hear the 'snap' of saliva from her every word, and while she isn't talking, she just sits there licking rapidly. Not the suckiest of customers, but they get worse.
2.) 'Jody's sub'
We don't know her name and we don't care. She subs for one of the teachers we DO like, however, a teacher that I will call Jody. Jody's sub is one of those people who thinks that we cannot possibly be qualified to do our job. We have an IT department that is seperate from the lab, and when she has a problem, she cannot bear to have a piddling lab assistant handle the problem.
Oh, forget that IT usually take an hour or so the register the request (took them 6 hours (!) today), because they are so well trained that they will doubtless resolve the problem. Of course, had she given me the five minutes it would have taken to look her computer over, the problem would have been fixed simply and quickly, since the problem was exactly as I suspected.
3.) Miter
This name has a double meaning. First, I get 'miter' from the way that this particular customer says 'my dear' with her thick russian accent, garbling it to sound alternately like 'midur' or 'miter.' Secondly, I get the name from miter saws, which would be useful in cutting my hand off to escape her grasp.
She is the one that all of the lab assistants know and avoid. Usually, we like to cover each other's backs, but Miter is one of those people where we have an 'every man for himself' policy for. When she walks in, we roll our eyes in unison and go, 'oh no, not her again.' Everyone hates having to help her, but it seems that we have various reasons. We all have one common theme to our complaints though, and that is that she keeps us with her FOREVER, treating us like private tutors rather then assistants.
My personal experiences with her have been blessedly few, but horribly painful. I have even had whole good days ruined by her. She would call me over and ask me a simple question, but instead of allowing me to answer it, she shows me all of the wrong things that she has already tried, as if I needed to see them to eliminate them as choices. Then, when I reach for the mouse to show her the correct method, she will say, 'wait, miter. I am not done yet.' I would then explain that I am trying to show her what to do, to which she would respond, 'no, miter, I want to show you something.' So a simple question such as, say, how to make text appear in a powerpoint presentation becomes ITSELF a presentation: 101 ways to f@%k up a simple precedure.
...The unabridged version.
...Starring Ben Stiller.
Ramblings aside, yesterday I had to help Miter with a simple thing in powerpoint, and she insisted on showing me three entire powerpoints to give me an idea of what she wanted, rather then just telling me so I could show her, like a human being might.
Just goes to show you: You can put 1000 monkies in front of 1000 keyboards, and they will eventually produce Shakespeare, but the same cannot be said of only one monkey.
1.) 'Lickity Lesbian'
Perhaps not the most politically correct name, but it seems so fitting. I don't know if she is a lesbian, but she qualifies: Short hair, short but muscular build, mannish appearance, and flannel shirts. That is, of course, if you have a politically incorrect mind that loves stereotypes, such as mine
Anywho, LL gets on most of my co-workers nerves (including my own) due to the fact that she asks a lot of questions. Now, this normally would be no big deal, but this is also where the 'lickity' comes into play; she licks her lips. Alot. Very loudly. Very wetly.
Is that even a real discriptor?
Anyway, we find it quite disgusting. You hear the 'snap' of saliva from her every word, and while she isn't talking, she just sits there licking rapidly. Not the suckiest of customers, but they get worse.
2.) 'Jody's sub'
We don't know her name and we don't care. She subs for one of the teachers we DO like, however, a teacher that I will call Jody. Jody's sub is one of those people who thinks that we cannot possibly be qualified to do our job. We have an IT department that is seperate from the lab, and when she has a problem, she cannot bear to have a piddling lab assistant handle the problem.
Oh, forget that IT usually take an hour or so the register the request (took them 6 hours (!) today), because they are so well trained that they will doubtless resolve the problem. Of course, had she given me the five minutes it would have taken to look her computer over, the problem would have been fixed simply and quickly, since the problem was exactly as I suspected.
3.) Miter
This name has a double meaning. First, I get 'miter' from the way that this particular customer says 'my dear' with her thick russian accent, garbling it to sound alternately like 'midur' or 'miter.' Secondly, I get the name from miter saws, which would be useful in cutting my hand off to escape her grasp.
She is the one that all of the lab assistants know and avoid. Usually, we like to cover each other's backs, but Miter is one of those people where we have an 'every man for himself' policy for. When she walks in, we roll our eyes in unison and go, 'oh no, not her again.' Everyone hates having to help her, but it seems that we have various reasons. We all have one common theme to our complaints though, and that is that she keeps us with her FOREVER, treating us like private tutors rather then assistants.
My personal experiences with her have been blessedly few, but horribly painful. I have even had whole good days ruined by her. She would call me over and ask me a simple question, but instead of allowing me to answer it, she shows me all of the wrong things that she has already tried, as if I needed to see them to eliminate them as choices. Then, when I reach for the mouse to show her the correct method, she will say, 'wait, miter. I am not done yet.' I would then explain that I am trying to show her what to do, to which she would respond, 'no, miter, I want to show you something.' So a simple question such as, say, how to make text appear in a powerpoint presentation becomes ITSELF a presentation: 101 ways to f@%k up a simple precedure.
...The unabridged version.
...Starring Ben Stiller.
Ramblings aside, yesterday I had to help Miter with a simple thing in powerpoint, and she insisted on showing me three entire powerpoints to give me an idea of what she wanted, rather then just telling me so I could show her, like a human being might.
Just goes to show you: You can put 1000 monkies in front of 1000 keyboards, and they will eventually produce Shakespeare, but the same cannot be said of only one monkey.
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