They're like animals! Needy, pestering animals!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Nothing like another Senior Citizens Day to make me wish that Senior Citizens Day would die in a fire. On to today's stories:

PEBSAW: Problem Exists Between Seat And Wheel

Or "Wherein Irv nearly gets smushed by some old fart who should not be driving"

So I was getting carts for about the 17,948th time today when somebody backed out of their parking space uber-fast, coming right at me. I had to just about dive out of the way before it finally dawned on the driver that "There's something in my path, it might be a good idea to stop!"

After I got up and pushed my carts out of the way, I took a good look at the driver; a little old lady who could barely see over the steering wheel of her land yacht.

I WAN MY DISCOUNT! RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE

Starting this Senior Day, the extra 15% senior citizen discount isn't given on household chemicals, laundry detergents, paper products and electronics. Probably because there are two areas of the store where the margins are super tight and the alternative would be to raise prices and effectively price ourselves right out of the market.

Mind you, this change was not unannounced. Last senior day we gave all the customers qualifying for the discount a flyer announcing the change and the reason for it. I suspect approximately 0 people actually read the damn thing, because I cannot tell how many times I got this:

"Why don't I get my discount on this toilet paper?"

"Sorry, corporate took away the discount on those things, but you can still get your 15% off on anything else in the store."

"Well this is news to me!"

"We printed up fliers and handed them out to people last time. You should have got one if you were here."

"Well I didn't get any flier!"

And on and on. 95% of the people just kept their TP and detergent and took the discount on everything else.

I.P. Freleigh's First Law of Carryouts

"Everybody must wait to purchase items requiring carryout until one Irving Patrick Freleigh is ready to go on a break or go home for the day"

I seriously had about 6 carryouts come in in about a 2-minute span around lunchtime. Of course my esteemed co-workers were too busy with or without customers to help me out, so I ended up having to postpone lunch for nearly half an hour until I got all caught up.

But then, later on: "Irv, can you get this down for me? Can you help me backstock this? I can't find this Irv, where is it? Irv, why are you fondling that sledgehammer and muttering with that evil look in your eyes again?"

My coworkers: They're there when they need me.

Is this another one of those long, pointless stories that rambles on and on, like my job?

This woman was pleasant enough, but she drove me nuts, as well as all the service desk people.

She bought a TV stand, but could not fit it in her car. So she decided to call some relatives with larger vehicles and see if they could pick it up for her.

However, she evidently could not remember their phone numbers, because she dialed at least 2 wrong numbers. Mind you, she was using the service desk's phone and a line of people was forming behind her, with the people in line growing more antsy and hostile with each passing minute.

Then, 15 minutes later, she decided to fill out a holding form and come back.

Later on, she called the store again, asking if I could grab a tape measure and measure the box for her, which I did.

Then she returned to the store in her car, right as I was getting ready to leave. She had me grab the tape measure again and measure her trunk. But it took about 10 minutes to figure out this was what she wanted me to do, because she insisted on rehashing the whole story of why she was having me do this, even though the service desk already filled me in.

So I did the noble thing: I handed her off to the guy relieving me so I could get the hell out of dodge.

[Becks]

IPF, I thought we told you to request today off.

[Andara Bledin]

IPF, I thought we told you to request today off.

No, no. We told him to not request the day off 'cause we're greedy and wanted to hear of his travails with the throngs of those who are not only often entitlement minded, but also may or may not still be coherent.

<3 IPF. Sorry you got stuck having to deal with this carp.

^-.-^

[marasbaras]

You folks did. I specifically requested that he take this day so that he could have stories for us.

[HawaiianShirts]

My coworkers: They're there when they need me.

I think I speak for many of the forum members when I say: Truer words (about co-workers) are seldom spoken.

I could relate dozens of stories to prove this point, but that's what Cursing Out Co-Workers is for, so instead I'll ask this: IPF, can I steal that line to add to my signature?

[IT Grunt]

Irv, why are you fondling that sledgehammer and muttering with that evil look in your eyes again

Gah! Rule #1 broken. Iced Tea is not good on the nasal membranes.

[Becks]

No, no. We told him to not request the day off 'cause we're greedy and wanted to hear of his travails with the throngs of those who are not only often entitlement minded, but also may or may not still be coherent.

My bad. I forgot to remember I got outvoted.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I think I speak for many of the forum members when I say: Truer words (about co-workers) are seldom spoken.

I could relate dozens of stories to prove this point, but that's what Cursing Out Co-Workers is for, so instead I'll ask this: IPF, can I steal that line to add to my signature?

Go right ahead!

[mattm04]

Nothing like another Senior Citizens Day to make me wish that Senior Citizens Day would die in a fire. On to today's stories:

PEBSAW: Problem Exists Between Seat And Wheel

Or "Wherein Irv nearly gets smushed by some old fart who should not be driving"

So I was getting carts for about the 17,948th time today when somebody backed out of their parking space uber-fast, coming right at me. I had to just about dive out of the way before it finally dawned on the driver that "There's something in my path, it might be a good idea to stop!"

After I got up and pushed my carts out of the way, I took a good look at the driver; a little old lady who could barely see over the steering wheel of her land yacht.

I could go on about the old drivers we have dealt with. One old driver decided to back up her car, without looking behind her, and backed into another old persons car who was doing the same thing. Both husbands were driving and began to argue with each other. The refused to exchange insurance info, despite sustaning almost no damage. Maybe a tiny scratch on the bumper of a 1980's Crown Vic.

We ended up calling the police since they were refusing to move their cars from the middle of the lot, refusing to check to see if their wives were OK.

MY 2nd favorite old driver was trying to park in the fire lane while his wife shopped. The curb is only a few inches high and sloped so you really wouldn't notice if you ran over it. He kept getting closer to the building until he hit it. Well we had to call the FD, Police and Corp who sent a structural engineer out. The wall was just a facade so we were able to keep the store open, but we hand to close the driveway in front of the store (per FD) until it was determine that the wall would not be in danger of collapse. The biggest issue was the SC's who kept trying to drive or walk thru the "FIRE LINE - DO NOT CROSS" tape and the barricades.

[TravisRB69]

I feel your pain, man. My store just had their Senior Citizen Day today. It is absolutely insane what 15% off will do, when in the grand scheme of things, they will save MAYBE 10 bucks on their whole order.

It must be "Nursing Home Paid Vacation Day" the first Thursday of every month in town here, because ALL of the senior citizens are at my store - nary a single one is at home, they are ALL there to expect us to hold them by their hand and sllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowly lead them to EVERY. SINGLE. ITEM. in their entire order instead of even ATTEMPTING to even halfway look for anything, followed by their nice half hour chit chat in all of the main aisles, blocking every single fast, practical way of navigating the store.

This same group of people are pretty much independent on any other day. Most will attempt to find items themselves before they ask. Maybe they'll need help lifting a few bags of salt or something, nothing real major. But that first Thursday of the month rolls around and hooooooooo boy. They completely LOSE THEIR MIND and all of a sudden these exact same people become drooling humanoids, completely devoid of anything resembling the slightest bit of independent thought - if you were to see them in this state you would seriously wonder how they survived to adulthood, let alone senior citizen status.

And I can never, ever, ever, EVER get it off, while the new manager somehow gets three off in a row.

[chainedbarista]

for the most part, i do like older people; they often have interesting stories to share. the ones that become entitlement whores? hell no; we don't have discounts for ANYONE, period. you want the item, you pay the price listed or go without.

if i say hello/what can we get you/how can we help you (i say 'we' because i see it as a team effort and that i may or may not have the ability to help them, especially in situations with special orders or things of the like, since i'm not in a position to authorize certain things, but i can direct them to/get them the person they need), acknowlege this; my parents taught me manners, and i do try to use them, for the most part. be courteous enough to acknowlede that all of us 'youngsters' aren't rude and disrespectful.

i'm of the mindset that respect is earned, not given; courtesy is, however, but that is conditional-if you're courteous to me, my coworkers and those around you, you will get it it return, along with respect. if not, all bets are off; i will be civil, and that's that.

maybe it's not 'good customer service' or 'legendary service' (as the green apron phrases it) but it is a reminder of the golden rule, which is a good standard to live by.

[StevieJD]

I had a semi-old lady ask if we had special prices for seniors.

My reply is a classic.

Yep, sure do. We charge seniors 10% extra.

She left rather PO.