Tweet
More minor tales of random customer stupidity.
Here's Your Sign
*approaching a customer*
Me: How are you today?
SC: Good, yourself?
Me: Good. What ca--
SC: Do you work here?
No, I don't work here. I'm really a reporter with BBC World News America currently engaged in an investigation for an exposé on the sales practices here at Staples and I was hoping you could answer a few questions about your experiences here today. Here's your sign.
YES I WORK HERE!!!!!! Hence the company shirt, nametag, and above all, the fact that I have approached you and struck up a conversation!!!!!!!
For the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time....
Recycle your old printer at Staples and get $50 off instantly on a new HP printer worth $159 or more. Must be done at time of printer purchase.
Me (on phone with SC): No sir, in order to receive the $50 offer, you must bring in your old printer for recycling at the time you buy the new one.
SC: No, what I mean is, can I buy the printer now, and then come back later for the $50?
Me: Again sir, you must bring in your old printer for recycling at the time you buy the new one.
SC: No no, what I mean is, can I buy a printer now and get the $50 back later?
Me: No sir, you MUST bring in your old printer for recycling at the same time you buy the new one.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat multiple times.
Just....WHY?!
Woman called in looking for a cartridge for her photocopier. A cartridge that is only available for order online or by phone, and not available in the store (a Canon A20, if you care).
Stupid Woman: Can you place an order in the store?
Me: Yes.
SW: Great! So can I just give you my um.....ah...um...my uh.....the number.....
Me: Your credit card number?
SW: Yes! Can I give you that and have you place the order and I'll pick it up when it comes in?
Me: Unfortunately no. I-
SW: Why not?!
Me: Because the order has to be pre-paid and I can not accept payment over the phone. However, you can call our phone order line and order it that way. They are set up to take payment over the phone. I'm not.
SW: You know, I live across the river, and it's too much trouble for me to come over there just to place an order, then come BACK to pick the item up. I might have to take my business elsewhere.
Me: Well like I said, you can call our phone order line and--
SW: NoIdon'twanttodothatbye. *click*
Me:
Two hours later, she came in an placed an in-store order.
Abort? Retry? Fail?
Had a woman ask me for a DVD marker to hand write labels.
I suggested she get a Sharpie.
SC: Oh no, those bleed though.
Me: I'm sorry? Bleed through? Bleed through what?
SC: They bleed through the disc!
That's right. She thought a Sharpie would soak through the non-porous DVD and ruin it.
Me: Ahhhhhh......*brain crashes*
Me: Uh...I've been using Sharpie markers to label my DVDs and CDs for years and I've never had a problem.
SC: But don't they bleed through?
Me: No.
SC: You're sure???
Me: Yes.
SC: OK, where are the Sharpies?
Me: Aisle 4.
Replacement Laptop Power Supplies, Part 52,001......
Once again, I find myself dealing with a whole slew of people looking for new laptop AC adapters. A word to the wise: DON'T LOSE/BREAK THE FIRST ONE YOU STEAMING PILE OF ELEPHANT
!!!!!
SC: Where are your laptop power cords?
Me: Over here *shows him our meager selection. CHEAPEST is $83.*
SC: What do you have in the $30 range?
Me: Nothing.
SC: All I need is a 6v transformer. It shouldn't be that expensive.
Me: Actually sir, laptop power supplies are much more sophisticated than that, and----
SC: Where can I get one?
Me: Online, or direct from the manufacturer would be your best bet.
SC: Never mind....*leaves*
Serial Annoyer
Guy calls in because he is incapable of locating the serial number on the brand new Dell laptop he allegedly bought from us. This is, of course, our fault, and since he's a "platinum member" we should help him out with the problem (never mind the fact that we haven't had platinum membership - actually Platinum Rewards - in well over a year).
To be fair, Dell does a terrible job of labeling their serial numbers. Up to that point, I didn't even know which number was which, and told him so. I looked at the box for one and found no revealing info.
Me: Did you try looking online?
SC: I looked all over the web and found nothing.
Me: Might I suggest calling Dell?
SC:.............................................
Me:.............................................
SC:.............................................
Me:.............................................
SC: That woudl be a whole 'nother effort!
I put him on hold, and hte manager and I went online and googled "Dell serial number." VERY FIRST PAGE revealed that Dell calls their serial numbers "service tags" and a quick look at the demo for the machine this guy bought confirmed it.
Seriously. Google it and see for yourself. Apparently looking "all over the web" doesn't include Google.
The manager picked the call back up and told the guy how to find the serial number.
A responsible adult.....
VERY glad I did not have to talk with this guy.
Customer today tried picking up a safe we had for sale without asking for assistance. Apparently he either missed the "TEAM LIFT - for your safety" warning or was just too macho for that sort of nonsense.
Well, it was too heavy for him and he sprained his knee.
Needless to say, he is holding the store responsible and expects compensation for medical expenses for his injury.
What is this "illegal?"
A guy perusing our selection of road atlases asked me if we could make a copy out of one such that it had portions of two adjacent towns on one page.
First of all, this isn't the copy center.
Second, I am not a copy center associate.
But most of all......
Me: No sir, we can't do that. Maps are copyrighted. *points to copyright on map*
*SC looks at me as if I just insulted him, insulted his mother, and insulted his ethnic heritage.*
SC: So you can't do that? It should be easy!
Me *again pointing out the copyright info*: It is illegal to make copies of copyrighted material, sir.
*SC looks at me as if I just spat on him, then walks away*
Not long afterwards, I spotted him in the self-service copy area....copying out the atlas!!!!
I pointed him out to the copy center specialist and informed him that despite my earlier warning, he was making copies out of an atlas that he did not pay for.
CCS confronts him, and not too long later I saw him getting a refund for the copies he'd made.
Unfortunately, though, it took a fair bit of arm-twisting to get the manager to do anything about it. Apparently the home office has got the managers so ham-strung that they can't even stop a customer from committing a crime, one that would earn the store a $10,000 fine PER PAGE if we were caught, plus automatic termination for whoever was in the copy center when it happened.
Me (to manager): So if he was over there copying banknotes right now, we couldn't do anything about it?
What, you think that's funny?!
Had a woman buy a GPS system the other day, no service plan.
Now, in and of itself that doesn't bother me too too much, since you can't get the plan every time, but she actually LAUGHED about it, in a manner that suggested she thought she was personally costing me money by not getting the plan and was GLAD about it!! While I don't get commission for selling them, I am held accountable for it, so that just pissed me off.
SC: No, no, no plan. HA HA HA HA!!!!! *snort*
*gets GPS from lock-up*
Me: it's at custoemr service. *walks away without another word.*
Here's Your Sign
*approaching a customer*
Me: How are you today?
SC: Good, yourself?
Me: Good. What ca--
SC: Do you work here?
No, I don't work here. I'm really a reporter with BBC World News America currently engaged in an investigation for an exposé on the sales practices here at Staples and I was hoping you could answer a few questions about your experiences here today. Here's your sign.
YES I WORK HERE!!!!!! Hence the company shirt, nametag, and above all, the fact that I have approached you and struck up a conversation!!!!!!!
For the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time....
Recycle your old printer at Staples and get $50 off instantly on a new HP printer worth $159 or more. Must be done at time of printer purchase.
Me (on phone with SC): No sir, in order to receive the $50 offer, you must bring in your old printer for recycling at the time you buy the new one.
SC: No, what I mean is, can I buy the printer now, and then come back later for the $50?
Me: Again sir, you must bring in your old printer for recycling at the time you buy the new one.
SC: No no, what I mean is, can I buy a printer now and get the $50 back later?
Me: No sir, you MUST bring in your old printer for recycling at the same time you buy the new one.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat multiple times.
Just....WHY?!
Woman called in looking for a cartridge for her photocopier. A cartridge that is only available for order online or by phone, and not available in the store (a Canon A20, if you care).
Stupid Woman: Can you place an order in the store?
Me: Yes.
SW: Great! So can I just give you my um.....ah...um...my uh.....the number.....
Me: Your credit card number?
SW: Yes! Can I give you that and have you place the order and I'll pick it up when it comes in?
Me: Unfortunately no. I-
SW: Why not?!
Me: Because the order has to be pre-paid and I can not accept payment over the phone. However, you can call our phone order line and order it that way. They are set up to take payment over the phone. I'm not.
SW: You know, I live across the river, and it's too much trouble for me to come over there just to place an order, then come BACK to pick the item up. I might have to take my business elsewhere.
Me: Well like I said, you can call our phone order line and--
SW: NoIdon'twanttodothatbye. *click*
Me:
Two hours later, she came in an placed an in-store order.
Abort? Retry? Fail?
Had a woman ask me for a DVD marker to hand write labels.
I suggested she get a Sharpie.
SC: Oh no, those bleed though.
Me: I'm sorry? Bleed through? Bleed through what?
SC: They bleed through the disc!
That's right. She thought a Sharpie would soak through the non-porous DVD and ruin it.
Me: Ahhhhhh......*brain crashes*
Me: Uh...I've been using Sharpie markers to label my DVDs and CDs for years and I've never had a problem.
SC: But don't they bleed through?
Me: No.
SC: You're sure???
Me: Yes.
SC: OK, where are the Sharpies?
Me: Aisle 4.
Replacement Laptop Power Supplies, Part 52,001......
Once again, I find myself dealing with a whole slew of people looking for new laptop AC adapters. A word to the wise: DON'T LOSE/BREAK THE FIRST ONE YOU STEAMING PILE OF ELEPHANT
!!!!!SC: Where are your laptop power cords?
Me: Over here *shows him our meager selection. CHEAPEST is $83.*
SC: What do you have in the $30 range?
Me: Nothing.
SC: All I need is a 6v transformer. It shouldn't be that expensive.
Me: Actually sir, laptop power supplies are much more sophisticated than that, and----
SC: Where can I get one?
Me: Online, or direct from the manufacturer would be your best bet.
SC: Never mind....*leaves*
Serial Annoyer
Guy calls in because he is incapable of locating the serial number on the brand new Dell laptop he allegedly bought from us. This is, of course, our fault, and since he's a "platinum member" we should help him out with the problem (never mind the fact that we haven't had platinum membership - actually Platinum Rewards - in well over a year).
To be fair, Dell does a terrible job of labeling their serial numbers. Up to that point, I didn't even know which number was which, and told him so. I looked at the box for one and found no revealing info.
Me: Did you try looking online?
SC: I looked all over the web and found nothing.
Me: Might I suggest calling Dell?
SC:.............................................
Me:.............................................
SC:.............................................
Me:.............................................
SC: That woudl be a whole 'nother effort!
I put him on hold, and hte manager and I went online and googled "Dell serial number." VERY FIRST PAGE revealed that Dell calls their serial numbers "service tags" and a quick look at the demo for the machine this guy bought confirmed it.
Seriously. Google it and see for yourself. Apparently looking "all over the web" doesn't include Google.
The manager picked the call back up and told the guy how to find the serial number.
A responsible adult.....
VERY glad I did not have to talk with this guy.
Customer today tried picking up a safe we had for sale without asking for assistance. Apparently he either missed the "TEAM LIFT - for your safety" warning or was just too macho for that sort of nonsense.
Well, it was too heavy for him and he sprained his knee.
Needless to say, he is holding the store responsible and expects compensation for medical expenses for his injury.
What is this "illegal?"
A guy perusing our selection of road atlases asked me if we could make a copy out of one such that it had portions of two adjacent towns on one page.
First of all, this isn't the copy center.
Second, I am not a copy center associate.
But most of all......
Me: No sir, we can't do that. Maps are copyrighted. *points to copyright on map*
*SC looks at me as if I just insulted him, insulted his mother, and insulted his ethnic heritage.*
SC: So you can't do that? It should be easy!
Me *again pointing out the copyright info*: It is illegal to make copies of copyrighted material, sir.
*SC looks at me as if I just spat on him, then walks away*
Not long afterwards, I spotted him in the self-service copy area....copying out the atlas!!!!
I pointed him out to the copy center specialist and informed him that despite my earlier warning, he was making copies out of an atlas that he did not pay for.
CCS confronts him, and not too long later I saw him getting a refund for the copies he'd made.
Unfortunately, though, it took a fair bit of arm-twisting to get the manager to do anything about it. Apparently the home office has got the managers so ham-strung that they can't even stop a customer from committing a crime, one that would earn the store a $10,000 fine PER PAGE if we were caught, plus automatic termination for whoever was in the copy center when it happened.
Me (to manager): So if he was over there copying banknotes right now, we couldn't do anything about it?
What, you think that's funny?!
Had a woman buy a GPS system the other day, no service plan.
Now, in and of itself that doesn't bother me too too much, since you can't get the plan every time, but she actually LAUGHED about it, in a manner that suggested she thought she was personally costing me money by not getting the plan and was GLAD about it!! While I don't get commission for selling them, I am held accountable for it, so that just pissed me off.
SC: No, no, no plan. HA HA HA HA!!!!! *snort*
*gets GPS from lock-up*
Me: it's at custoemr service. *walks away without another word.*
Comment