How not to get a drink.....

[exbarwench]

1/ Fall down the stairs leading to the bar....blame me. (For I am the queen of gravity and willed it so!!!!)

2/ Be unable to state your desire for an alcoholic beverage in a reasonable amount of time (If you fall asleep while ordering you get bonus points)

3/ Look hopefully at me and when asked what you need .... drool. (I tried to write that one off as a testament to my good looks but I highly doubt it)

4/ Whistle and clap your hands. (This one is a no brainer people, not a member of the canine family so that's so not working)

5/ Smack the person in line in front of you with a chair Yeah not your brightest move to date dumbass. (This one too gets bonus points because he had the cajones to ask me on a date as he was being arrested. Came in a week later and couldn't understand why he was BANNED.)

6/ And finally my own personal favorite...Call me sweet tits....(On what planet is this an acceptable greeting. Remind me never to go there)

Wow that was damn near theraputic!

[Imogene]

Call me sweet tits....(On what planet is this an acceptable greeting. Remind me never to go there)

The only place I can think of is the land of chocolate...
*cue Homer drooling/daydream*

[Aethian]

Yea....betcha he couldn't remember the incident but did remember asking such a sweet gal out on a date.

[Andara Bledin]

You got some real winners, there.

^-.-^

[Whyme]

6/ And finally my own personal favorite...Call me sweet tits....(On what planet is this an acceptable greeting. Remind me never to go there)

By any chance did this man declare himself the King of Malibu and look very much like Mad Max?

[calulu]

Reminds me of all the dreary pickup lines I heard while bartending in college on Bourbon St. Why does anyone think saying "I wanna wrap you around my ears and wear you like a feedbag" or "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" or "I've haven't had sex in a really long time.." would actually make you drop your panties? Drunken idiots..

[AdminAssistant]

I witnessed a bartender(ess) tolerate big steaming piles of crap Saturday night. Some of my friends were getting pretty obnoxious. But we're all pretty good natured and tip well (for poor theatre kids). Still, I tip my hat to people who deal with drunk dumbasses on a regular basis.

[tropicsgoddess]

Any man other than my SO calling me sweet tits will get a sweet fist. to ,exbarwench!!

[karath]

Any man other than my SO calling me sweet tits will get a sweet fist.

Perfect!

[Lil Bunny]

LOL Man that brought back memories!!

Don't forget the fact that if you are unable to start your bike after a night of drinking, it is again my fault. Same with the fact that if your car does start and you get busted by the cops even though I cut you off and called you a cab. Bonus points if you start the bathroom on fire and stomp on my trunk hood. MAN that was a good cop night.

Welcome!!!

[Forensic Waitress]

Now why wouldn't you want to accept a date with him, just think of the great story that you'll tell the grandkids.

'Ahhh yes I remember the first time your grandfather asked me out, he was being hauled away by the cops at the time, he smashed a chair over the head of another patron just to get my attention, ahhh so sweet.'

But seriously I remember my days in several London pubs during the World Soccor thing (sorry not into it, don't care about it) and that whenever England won they always thought that this was an okay time to grab my ass and try to do a victory dance with me.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Another example of how not to get a drink: practically fall down as you're coming into the place and then barf.

Me and the group of people I was with got kicked of a dive bar in the Twin Cities for that one.

Got to listen to some of the locals hooting and hollering about "those Wisconsin idiots who can't hold their liquor."

Oh please. They'd been drinking since noon, if not earlier. I sincerely wish it had occurred to me to mention that. Me, I just had a couple at the bar we had been to before that one so I was still in good shape.

[Andara Bledin]

Bonus points if you start the bathroom on fire and stomp on my trunk hood. MAN that was a good cop night.

Wow. Have you posted that story? Is there more to it?

^-.-^

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

LOL Man that brought back memories!!

Don't forget the fact that if you are unable to start your bike after a night of drinking, it is again my fault. Same with the fact that if your car does start and you get busted by the cops even though I cut you off and called you a cab. Bonus points if you start the bathroom on fire and stomp on my trunk hood. MAN that was a good cop night.

oh ho HO!???

/gets his blankie to sit on--it's story time!

[MrSunshineState]

By any chance did this man declare himself the King of Malibu and look very much like Mad Max?

Damnit, you beat me to it!

Although I think it was Sugar Tits