This is from last Friday. I had an EPIC brain to mouth filter failure.
This call came in at 4.45 Australian Time. So it was nearly 7pm where he was. This is important!
My Thoughts in (Bold!)
Me: Welcome to <my company> customer service. This is Lexi. How can I help you?
SC: I want to make a complaint!!! (Oh Dear!)
Me: Ok, If you can tell me which office your complaint is regarding I can direct you to the correct person
SC: You Mother Farking <suburb> office! (Yay swearing! Bonus Douchbag Points!)
Me: OK, We actually don't have an office in <suburb>... Are you certain it was that office? (We have never had an office here... EVER)
SC: YES I'M FARKING CERTAIN!
Me: OK... *looks up closest office* The closest office in that area is <Other suburb> Do you happen to know the name of the person you dealt with in the office? (so I can confirm its the correct office)
SC: <Name> (Practically spat down the phone line!)
Me: Ok, It is the <other suburb> I can give you the number of the regional manager. His name is John Smith. He is located in our Auckland Head Office.
SC: Transfer me! (God Dammit)
Me: I'm Sorry I don't have that ability... I can give you the number or I can take your name and number and pass your details on to John Smith if you would prefer
SC: JUST FARKING TRANSFER ME OK FAAAAARK (OK That's enough I've had it)
Me: Sir, I understand your are upset but please do not use language like that with me. I am trying to help you. Now would you like the number for John Smith? (Deep calming Breaths)
SC: My name is GIANT DUMBARSE. 1234 5678! You will have him call me within the next 10 minutes or I'm going to sue YOU personally for this! (Oh yes... sue the customer service rep in another company over some complaint.. that's going to happen. Not likely buddy)
Me: Sir I believe that the Head Office is closed as it is nearly 7pm there but I will pass on the message and let him know you want a call asap!(Shaking with anger at this point.. I just want him to go away!)
SC: Call him at home then! I need this sorted out FARKING NOW (Oh boy oh boy am I pissed off now!)
Me: Sir as I said before *he interrupts*
SC: I don't give a shit! Just make it happen OK! I want him to call me NOW. You got that you farking little bitch! (Brain to mouth filter FAILS)
Me: And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. I will pass your details to John and he will call you back as soon as he can... OK ( Brain goes UH OH… )
SC: YOU LITTLE MOTHER FARKING C**T
ME: Ok sir thats it I am hanging up now!
Thankfully he didn't call back.. I passed on his details and a week later nothing has happened (Like me getting in trouble) Even if I did I think it would be worth it! Seriously I hate people like this!
This call came in at 4.45 Australian Time. So it was nearly 7pm where he was. This is important!
My Thoughts in (Bold!)
Me: Welcome to <my company> customer service. This is Lexi. How can I help you?
SC: I want to make a complaint!!! (Oh Dear!)
Me: Ok, If you can tell me which office your complaint is regarding I can direct you to the correct person
SC: You Mother Farking <suburb> office! (Yay swearing! Bonus Douchbag Points!)
Me: OK, We actually don't have an office in <suburb>... Are you certain it was that office? (We have never had an office here... EVER)
SC: YES I'M FARKING CERTAIN!
Me: OK... *looks up closest office* The closest office in that area is <Other suburb> Do you happen to know the name of the person you dealt with in the office? (so I can confirm its the correct office)
SC: <Name> (Practically spat down the phone line!)
Me: Ok, It is the <other suburb> I can give you the number of the regional manager. His name is John Smith. He is located in our Auckland Head Office.
SC: Transfer me! (God Dammit)
Me: I'm Sorry I don't have that ability... I can give you the number or I can take your name and number and pass your details on to John Smith if you would prefer
SC: JUST FARKING TRANSFER ME OK FAAAAARK (OK That's enough I've had it)
Me: Sir, I understand your are upset but please do not use language like that with me. I am trying to help you. Now would you like the number for John Smith? (Deep calming Breaths)
SC: My name is GIANT DUMBARSE. 1234 5678! You will have him call me within the next 10 minutes or I'm going to sue YOU personally for this! (Oh yes... sue the customer service rep in another company over some complaint.. that's going to happen. Not likely buddy)
Me: Sir I believe that the Head Office is closed as it is nearly 7pm there but I will pass on the message and let him know you want a call asap!(Shaking with anger at this point.. I just want him to go away!)
SC: Call him at home then! I need this sorted out FARKING NOW (Oh boy oh boy am I pissed off now!)
Me: Sir as I said before *he interrupts*
SC: I don't give a shit! Just make it happen OK! I want him to call me NOW. You got that you farking little bitch! (Brain to mouth filter FAILS)
Me: And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. I will pass your details to John and he will call you back as soon as he can... OK ( Brain goes UH OH… )
SC: YOU LITTLE MOTHER FARKING C**T
ME: Ok sir thats it I am hanging up now!
Thankfully he didn't call back.. I passed on his details and a week later nothing has happened (Like me getting in trouble) Even if I did I think it would be worth it! Seriously I hate people like this!
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