Once apon a time... (long)

[Nyx]

It's story time.

The poorest customer

PL= poor lady

Me: your total is $xx.99
PL: *hands me $xy.00*
Me: *forgetfully left her penny in the register* "Whoops! Sorry I forgot your penny."
PL: "So?"
ME: (cool I didn't think she'd care about a penny) "I can call a manager to open the drawer if you want?"
PL: "So you mean I have to stand here and wait for you to get me my change?!"
Me: "uhhhh"
PL *begins a tirade of how unbelievable this is and how I am incompetent blah blah blah...*
Me: *calling for keys and checking my pockets for any change to shut her up"
*manager opens drawer a few seconds later"
Me: *make a small display of pulling out one single penny and placing it in her hand*
PL: *It didn't sink in, she snatches the penny from me leans in towards me and snaps* "Next time I hope you think before you act!!"
Mewell I'm thinking about punching you in the face...)

Wart eye

WE = lady with a wart on her freaking eye!!!

WE: "Excuse me!"
Me: "Yes?"
WE: "Don't you have more of this!?" *holds out yarn*
Me: "uhhh..." *scans it* "Nope, but it says we'll get more, maybe thursday?"
WE: "I don't want to wait! Why don't you have any more!? You should keep your stock full!"
Me: "Well we can't expect how much will be sold blah blah blah... (what is that on her eye? Oh my God! ) ...so I'm sorry, but I can see if other stores have any in stock."
WE: "I don't want to go to another store! You should have the things you sell in stock!" *storms off*
Me: *silently gagging*

Druggie jewelry

J, my co-worker calls me up to the front and asks me to follow this girl who is in beads because she suspects her of shoplifting. I ask who she is, and she tells me she's a skinny cracked out girl and I should be able to know when I see her. Sure enough I go over to beads and there is this girl who looks some like a boy, she is wearing very ratty clothes and a baseball cap, her arms and legs and some of her face are covered in sores and scabs, I silently retch and begin throwing misplaced items in my cart. I hate following shoplifters 'cause I have to pretend like I'm busy doing something else and I always feel awkward. So I'm following tweaky, but I get a laugh 'cause I can hear her muttering under her breath how I'm a bitch and I won't go away. LOL 'Cause I'M the bitch... I lost track of her for a minute and she went up front and gave J the beads and asked her to hold them and that she'll be back. We put them back because we figured she wouldn't, and we were right.

Just add brains

A "lady" (term used loosely) came in and walks up to me and demands a manager, so I call for one and continue my business. She looks at me while she's waiting and asks "Are you pregnant!?" I tell her no and am confused. She then shouts "Well I'm only not angry at pregnant people right now!" "Oookaaay..." So the manager comes up and she proceeds to chew into him about how the product she bought didn't include glue, and that none of the others on the shelf have glue either. So manager points out that it say "just add glue" on it. So she tells him as if we are all dumb that that means glue is included. Silly us...

Big medium and small

When I worked at the theater I had this woman push her way to the front of the line and ask me what the difference between big medium and small drinks was. Since the man I was helping was about her age and didn't seem to care about her shoving her way in I assumed they were together. So I tell her the difference in prices, and she says " NO! The difference!" and shows me with her hands. Oh! So I tell her the ounce difference. "No! The difference!" and again with her hands only more exaggerated. "Ummm one's big, one's medium and the other is small?" So says "Oh ok." and walks of seeming satisfied. I guess she just wanted to make sure I knew that?

[Tee]

"Ummm one's big, one's medium and the other is small?" So says "Oh ok." and walks of seeming satisfied. I guess she just wanted to make sure I knew that?

Oh wow. XD

Not only did you get to say that, but it was the answer she was looking for.

[Danjo]

I hate following shoplifters 'cause I have to pretend like I'm busy doing something else and I always feel awkward.

That's because you're trying to hide it. If I get a customer who I suspect of shoplifting I follow and stare at them the whole time, smiling. If they ask why, I tell them. 9 times out of 10 they leave.

[BookstoreEscapee]

WE: "I don't want to go to another store! You should have the things you sell in stock!" *storms off*

Well, Dammit if people would quit buying it, we would!!! geez, freakin' customers buying the merchandise, what do they think this is, a store???!

[Imogene]

That's because you're trying to hide it. If I get a customer who I suspect of shoplifting I follow and stare at them the whole time, smiling. If they ask why, I tell them. 9 times out of 10 they leave.

That seems like a really bad idea, particularly in a lawsuit-happy country. I know in all the jobs I've worked, only management is even allowed to make stops for shoplifting, because, if they didn't really take anything, that can lead to a lawsuit. Not to mention all the hyper-violent people who might just suddenly attack you for figuring out their grand criminal scheme!

[fish3k1]

I know in all the jobs I've worked, only management is even allowed to make stops for shoplifting,

Yeah, same where I work - we have to tannoy "Manager 44 (stupid bloody codes) to <section>" if we suspect someone, then keep an eye on them until management arrives. For our safety. I believe it. I have a friend works as a security guard, he's had knives pulled on him by shoplifters waaaay to many times... he's also had his head kicked 'like a rugby ball' (witness quote) by a FRIEND WHO WAS JUST PASSING BY of the guy he was in the middle of arresting and had wrestled to the ground...

[Andara Bledin]

I have a scary "security guard who stopped shoplifters" story for ya.

One of my brother's close friends is this big guy. He's the sort of big guy you'd inch away from on an elevator, except that when he smiles, he's really cute.

Anyway, he used to work as a security guard at a liquor store. This was in a "bad" part of that particular neighborhood.

So, one evening, a couple of punks decide they want to steal a case of beer. He stops them, makes them leave the beer, and makes them get out of the store.

His shift ends a few hours later, and as he goes out to his car, he gets jumped by the punks and a few of their friends. One had a metal pipe, another had a knife.

He spent a few days in the hospital with some broken ribs, a stab wound to the back (missed all the important stuff), and a large section of his cheek sliced as if it were a holiday ham. When he describes himself escaping back into the store, he said that there was this thing flapping on his cheek and it took him several minutes to realize it was his cheek. So, with that scar on his face, he looks like an even scarier dude than he did before, but he's still mostly a big teddybear.

Oh, and he got out of doing security work.

^-.-^

[marasbaras]

Glad he survived that attack. Knife wound in the back could've been fatal.

[Raieth]

I know that at my old job a zellers, who has in house security, they would make us cashiers page a camera check to _____ (insert favorite code word here).