Karma as an ARMY Sergent (really gross)

[Nyx]

Oh how could I have forgotten this tale! It was related to me by my brother who was in the national guard at the time.

It seems a fellow private while on leave must have had a few drinks, as no one could be this dumb sober. Well he went out to a hotel and got the brilliant idea to spread his own feces all over things, the wall, the tv, dresser, nightstand, etc... Well he was easy enough to track down and the base was notified. A Sergent accompanied him back to the hotel where he scrubbed his mess. Then the brilliant idea hit the Sergent and he took away scrub brush and informed him "Forget this. You put it up with your hands, you can take it down with your hands." Mind you by this time it had a chance to dry throughly, so he spend most of the day spitting and scratching at the wall. I'm sure they allowed for a much more sanitary clean after that, but oh to be an ARMY Sergent. *sigh*

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

/steals this idea for the Fingerpainter's next visit...

[allniter]

Disgustingly well done revenge.

I bet if given the opportunity he'd volunteer for a suicide mission, so long as he wasn't given a dictionary to look up what it meant.

[chainedbarista]

i'd love to use that method, given that i've known who more than just a few of those types of violators were, but given green apron policy...it'll never happen.

[Arm]

One of the (few) wonderful things about a clearly defined heirarchy of people without civil rights...

(And no, soldiers don't have the rights that most people take for granted, but that's well and good because it'd be a funny old world if we did)

When I was in training, well, I was in pretty rotten shape when I joined. Not fat, just not fit. And that training will tear down your body and rebuild it, so I wound up getting a whole bunch of stress fractures throughout my legs, and got put in a sort of holding before I could leave AIT, since I couldn't pass my physical.

Well, there're only a few types of soldiers who wind up in holding, in training. Ones who can't pass, and ones who *won't* pass...

Might be they can't pass their classes, might be they can't pass their security screenings, might be physical. But essentially, if you weren't there because of an injury, you were there because you were a fuckup.

And oh, my, the corrective training that my sergeants came up with.

I never knew what most of the fuckups were there for- I was in a different platoon and stayed away from them, generally. So I can't really explain what EXACTLY merited this...

...but once upon a time, there was a naughty private.

The barracks had a volleyball court, and as such courts are wont to do, the sand had been kicked out of it over the years, until it was more of a shallow depression than a proper court. The naughty private managed to irritate his sergeant most mightily.

A while later, a dump-truck showed up, and deposited a great load of sand in a heap at one end of the court.

The naughty private was given an entrenching tool (a small folding spade). His task? Move the pile of sand from one end of the court to the other.
Make sure that it passed OVER the net on its way.

When the pile was thus rearranged, his instructions were as follows:

Put it back where it started. Over the net, again.

This process continued for several weeks, until the pile was completely flat and the court was nice and level again. The drill sergeants would take a folding chair out and sit next to the court, just to make sure that the sand really did go OVER the net, eeeevery siiingle tiiiime.

I don't know what happened to that private; I got out of holding before he did. But I believe that whatever else he did in life, he never did THAT again...

[chinashirtgirl]

?

This is just one of the many stories about people spreading their feces around, can anyone understand that? And in a hotel room which you are in under your own name? How could he think he could get away with it? You're right, I hope he was drunk and not like that all the time. Scary.

[Becks]

Gotta love sergeants!!

[marasbaras]

I don't get the bodily waste thing. It's just ... wrong.

Love what the Sgts did with the sand. Brilliant.

I suspect that some of the most creatively sick minds in the world are drill instructors for various military organizations.

[Ninja Chocobo]

...but once upon a time, there was a naughty private.

There's a scene in Cool Hand Luke (movie) that's pretty much this. But I haven't seen it in ages, so I can't quote it for you. Luke is told to dig a ditch all day, and fill it in all night.

[Boozy]

This is just one of the many stories about people spreading their feces around, can anyone understand that?

I don't think "drunk" quite explains it. I've been drunk lots of times and the thought of spreading my own feces around the room with my bare hands has never even crossed my mind.

Mental illness is a contributing factor here, I think.

[Kogo Shuko]

You never know what you can do during a blackout.

However, I really do love what the sergeants in these situations can do.