Jester's Guide to Inappropriate Tips

[Andara Bledin]

(Unless, of course, they're maple-glazed. That's a whole different ball of sugar.)

Well, I know what I'll pick up when I manage to get myself to the other coast....

As an aside, the group I was with once left a non-tip for some truly hellaciously bad service. It was a Denny's and we didn't see the waitress for over an hour after she brought the food. And she was slow and if she had been any less enthusiastic, she'd have been asleep.

So a couple of the people left lines of sugar and sugar substitute with a card folded over them saying "your tip" and a straw cut short at an angle.

I can understand hating your job, but if you're going to be that rude and not actually do all of your job, maybe you should stay home and let someone else have the opportunity to get some tips. We usually tipped around 20% at our regular Denny's. They were cool about the group of us showing up and staying for hours. Of course, we always bought a lot of food to go with our drinks, too.

^-.-^

[Jester]

Preaching to me where I work and am a captive audience and have to be nice to you is ruder.

I have to sit there, and accept it, and nod and smile and I can't say a damn word to them, regardless of how much I want to tell them to just shove it!

I will shortly have a new secret weapon I'll be able to use.

Racing towards me through the postal system is my official ordination as a minister in the Church of Beer (beerchurch.com). And yes, it will make me an actual ordained minister, capable of performing Beer Weddings.

"I'm sorry, I can't accept this pamphlet, as I am already a minister in a different church...."

[depechemodefan]

I work where we don't get tips (though we get a lot of verbal tips. And for those who do the cross-word puzzles in Star "magazine" for cash, I hope they give us some of their prize money, since they call us everyday having us answer half the fuckin' puzzle. ahem). One day though this woman comes in with a box of donuts. She works nearby and someone brought donuts but the boss said they can't have donuts, to throw them away. So she decides to give it to us. The person who recieved them wasn't the manager, so she takes to the back and tell some of us about it. So we stare at the box, wondering if it's a hoax, but we finally dug in.

[Jester]

ETA: My friend Evan and I used to leave stuff with the tip that we found stashed in our wallets - little notes, fortunes from cookies, random coupons and cartoons, etc, but we always did this in addition to the 20%+ we used to leave.

I have no issue with that, as I think I said in the OP.

As an aside, the group I was with once left a non-tip for some truly hellaciously bad service.

As always, my comments are for the situations where the service is good or great. Bad service deserves bad or no tips. I will not be lumped in with the rude and incompetent in the service industry, and I despise them as they make ME look bad by association!

[d962831]

Racing towards me through the postal system is my official ordination as a minister in the Church of Beer (beerchurch.com). And yes, it will make me an actual ordained minister, capable of performing Beer Weddings.

That's flippin' awesome!

[Javarod]

Well, as a courier, I don't get tips usually (we do some work for a high end retailer), but before this I was a cab driver. And what was I often offered? Sex, from both the boys and the girls, sometimes this was offered in exchange for the fare. I'm flattered, and mildly interested, but being a type A- workaholic, its a rather inconvenient tip.

[Jester]

Sex in place of actually paying. Funny. Reminds me of this exchange between my coworker and a sixtysomething woman during Fantasy Fest. The woman ordered the drink from All American Bartender, and then.....

WOMAN: "How much is that?"
AAB: "Six fifty."
WOMAN: (pulls up her shirt to flash her boobs) "NOW how much is it?"
AAB: (with a straight face) "Um, six fifty."

Sometimes it's funnier NOT to be a smartass!

[DesignFox]

My friends and I used to do some crazy shit to our waiters with their tips...

hmm...my one friend could fold bills into rings and t-shirts...or flags.

Sometimes we'd build a tower out of cups and silverware and put the tip in there...(always at least 20%)

But one time, we got all crazy and made the tower with more than one level. There was money under the base cups...under the second level cups...in the top as "flags" sticking out of straw "flag poles" and at the base.

Our poor waitress was like...90?...she'd worked at the diner FOREVER. We ran outside to look through the window to watch her expression. She had the best look I've ever seen...But be nice to me, my friends and I were teens...and we left like a 50% tip, so we didn't stiff her by any means...even with the additional "hide and seek" she had to play for the money. We thought it might liven up the night (the diner was not busy when we did this.)

One guy we used to get regularly (we'd request him, he was the best, and on a first name basis with us) we'd leave drawings and stories in addition to his tip.

Even as teenagers we never ever stiffed our wait-staff.

Unless they were truly rude and horrible, of course. (and I think that only happened once- she cursed us off, so she got a penny tip)

[Imogene]

And yes, it will make me an actual ordained minister, capable of performing Beer Weddings.

Note to self: When friend in MO and I get married (via FSM-ism) have Jester marry us... there will be rum and such flowing like hell, and everyone'll be in pirate garb... EVERYONE damn it!

[Jester]

Note to self: When friend in MO and I get married (via FSM-ism) have Jester marry us... there will be rum and such flowing like hell, and everyone'll be in pirate garb... EVERYONE damn it!

The idea of actually performing a wedding appeals to me.

The idea of performing a beer wedding appeals to me even more.

The idea of doing so while in full pirate regalia (including my sword) really appeals to me.

The idea of being in Missouri in January......doesn't. Have I mentioned that I really don't like the cold?

But if you're serious about this, let me do some research into how legal this all would be, and we'll talk. Kind of silly to be a Minister of Beer with the power to marry if I don't actually exercise said power, don't ya think?

And by the way, if you need help in selecting good rums, I am slowly becoming a minor expert, and have access to all KINDS of good to awesome rums living down here!

(Psst....what is FSM?)

[Becks]

One time I was assisting at a birthday party at work and I got a cash tip (I don't remember how much) and the actual CHEF got an ugly plant in a coffee can. I felt soooooooooooooo bad for her.

Their reasoning? I look like I "only make $7 an hour" and Chef C. "gets paid a lot of money to do this". Oh, yeah...and they KNOW her.

A male client gave her *drum roll* a pubic hair trimmer.

"I saw this and thought of you" ? There's just no way that could be good.

That's just...Holy biscuit.

[Aramika]

at my grocery store, I've received a fair share of the religious pamphlets, but a friend of mine got a Spanish religious pamphlet one time.

and she's Vietnamese.





I was at a restaurant once with a group of friends one time and when it came time to leave the tip, I left about 25% (we had an awesome waitress) and a friend of mine left a religious pamphlet.

now this was not just any religious pamphlet, oh no. This particular pamphlet looked like a $20 bill when folded up, but when unfolded it read something like "God is more powerful than money." I argued with my friend about leaving this because it was just wrong to make the waitress think that she was getting a $20 tip when she really wasn't.

I grabbed the pamphlet off the table and then went to pay my bill. Unfortunately, my friend had another pamphlet with him that I didn't know about, and he didn't tell me until after we had left the restaurant that he had left it.

I wasn't too happy with him.

[Arucard]

In Australia, while we don't tip, if we ever did, Pizza hut ran an advert that would have turned the majority of the population into SC.

Basic gist was that the delivery boy delivered to his folk's house, and after he was paid, asked his dad for a tip. Dad thinks for a moment, then taps him on the cheek, and says "Be good to your mother." Then closes the door on him.

This was back in the late 80s, early 90s, and while, after reading this site, if I was ever in a tipping country, I'd tip properly, I still can't forget that ad, and I'd always have the urge to do something smart-arsed like that.

[Skarredmind]

a former coworker told me about a time someone told him he was a devil worshipper because he's a Jehovah's Witness

LOL this guys doesn't live in PA in the USA does he?? I've used that line with the pushy or 9am Jehovas around here.... Hey its better than giving them until the count of 10...

[MadMike]

This particular pamphlet looked like a $20 bill when folded up, but when unfolded it read something like "God is more powerful than money."

I used to know someone who worked as a stripper, and she received one of those as a tip. Talk about irony.