Conspiracy Theory Woman (Thunderbird)

[PapaAustin]

So the end of the night comes quickly at pizza places, and within the last ten minutes of being open everything basically winds down and you can close the restaurant. Sometimes you'll get the occasional late-comer who stops in at 5 min. before close and that always makes you mad, but this one particular night, a woman calls at about ten minutes before close. Sometimes I have the mind to let these folks know that we close in less than ten and that their pizza takes longer than that, and most people are understanding, but with this woman I just wanted to get it over with.

So I decide to take her order being the kind soul that I am. It is important to know that in order for a phone order to be rung through our computer system, the caller must supply me with a name and a phone number up front. Without that information we can't put it through. So here's how the whole thing played out.

Me-- tired, frustrated, yet patient
SC-- woman on the phone
FSC-- friend of SC who is nearby her

Me-- Thank you for calling ___ can I have your telephone number and na--- (cut off)
SC-- I want two pizzas, a large and a small roni.
Me-- Ok, I'd love to get that for you if I could have your telephone number and your name please.
SC-- But I'm on a payphone right outside (if you're right outside then why don't you just come in??)
Me-- Alright, I just need a phone number to ID your order with.
SC to FSC-- (whispered) Do you want to disclose your number?
FSC-- (whispered) Yeah I guess so.
SC-- 603-123-4567
Me-- Ok, and can I have your name please?
SC-- *sigh* Thunderbird (WTF? yes that is actually what she told me)
Me-- Ok, and you said you wanted a large cheese pizza with a small roni right?
SC-- yeah.
Me-- That's part of our deal right now where you buy that and you get a free appetizer at no extra... (cut off again)
SC-- No! I just want the two pizzas!
Me-- Alright, total will come to $18.34, and that'll be ready for you to pick up in about 15 min.
SC-- What?
Me-- Your order will be ready to pick up in 15 min.
SC-- I don't get it... (what is there not to get?)
Me-- In about 15 min your order will be done. You come in here, pay for it, pick it up, and leave.
SC-- (getting impatient with me) Just call me when it's ready!
Me-- No, I'm not going to call you when it's ready. In 15 min it'll be done. Just come in and pay for it.
SC-- THEN WHY DID I GIVE YOU MY NUMBER?!?!?!
Me-- So I could put the order through the computer.
SC-- You know, I'm not buying this whole "giving you my number to put it through the computer" thing!
Me-- Well it really doesn't matter now does it? Cuz that's just the way things are!
SC-- Well maybe we're going to go somewhere else.
Me-- (thinking oh no! anything but THAT!) Alright, have a good night.


I kind of wanted to see this woman come in because I had a hunch that she would be the kind of person that wears the aluminum foil hat. I really didn't care whether she believed me or not, in the end it really didn't matter cuz I needed that number and she just had to deal with it. The amusing thing is that if she was "just outside" why not just walk in and order? I seriously do not understand what goes through people's heads sometimes.

[RedRoseSpiral]

That sounds like something my crazy Creative Writing teacher would do. She was positivily sure that the FBI was after her because she knew who shot JFK. She once jumped out a window because she thought the men in black were there to get her. After that the school put her in a room without windows. The part where she asked the other person if they wanted to "disclose" their phone number was right on for something she'd say.

[Bright_Star]

"The Men In Black" followed by the boys in those white coats where they take you to a nice rubber room where you can talk & drool all night...lol.

[depechemodefan]

She was positivily sure that the FBI was after her because she knew who shot JFK.

So she ever tell who shot JFK?

[wagegoth]

So she ever tell who shot JFK?

She probably didn't want to put her students at risk.

[mattm04]

Every time I have ordered pizza they ask for a phone number and name, no matter it it is the local place or a national chain. It's a phone number, something that I can usually find in phone book.

[chainedbarista]

SC-- You know, I'm not buying this whole "giving you my number to put it through the computer" thing!

'i reject your reality and substitute my own surreality instead!'

wow, tin foil hat and house, i'm betting; can't be too safe from big brother

[PapaAustin]

Every time I have ordered pizza they ask for a phone number and name, no matter it it is the local place or a national chain. It's a phone number, something that I can usually find in phone book.

exactly why this woman was so frustrating. Out of the 100 or so phone orders we do a night there is almost never a customer who has a problem giving out their phone number.

[Cthulhu]

So she ever tell who shot JFK?

Lee Harvey Oswald?

[depechemodefan]

Quoth depechemodefan

So she ever tell who shot JFK?

Lee Harvey Oswald?

Well now we know why the FBI was after her.

[MiloMorai]

If she hadn't said she was going somewhere else and did want the order you could have just got her to argue with you until closing and then suddenly said "Oops sorry it's X o'clock and we are now closed have a nice evening." hang up.

[RedRoseSpiral]

She probably didn't want to put her students at risk.

Did you go to my school? That was usually her answer.

[BrightEyedKitty]

You know, rather than argue with her you could have either put it in as a walk-in order or put in whatever phone number, say, 666-666-6666 or something. Save yourself the aggravation.

I hear ya on the last minute orders thing though. Nothing worse than having everything done, no orders for at least an hour, and we're basically standing around waiting for midnight, and then *ring*. Drives me nuts, especially if:

Them: What time do you close?
Me: In 2 minutes.
Them: Can I still get an order?
Me: (Falsely cheery, but screaming every single swear word I know inside my head) Sure.

And, yeah, strange woman.

[zigcat]

You know, rather than argue with her you could have either put it in as a walk-in order or put in whatever phone number, say, 666-666-6666 or something. Save yourself the aggravation.

I hear ya on the last minute orders thing though. Nothing worse than having everything done, no orders for at least an hour, and we're basically standing around waiting for midnight, and then *ring*. Drives me nuts, especially if:

Them: What time do you close?
Me: In 2 minutes.
Them: Can I still get an order?
Me: (Falsely cheery, but screaming every single swear word I know inside my head) Sure.

And it takes them ten minutes to place the order, which after much deliberation, winds up being a small pepperoni and it's going all the way to the edge of the area and you just know you're going to get stiffed.

Seriously, sometimes when I manage, I'll flip the answering machine on 2 min to close.

[PapaAustin]

You know, rather than argue with her you could have either put it in as a walk-in order or put in whatever phone number, say, 666-666-6666 or something. Save yourself the aggravation.

.

I sometimes do that we reasonable people who are nice to me and honestly either don't know their number or ask nicely for it not to be used. Ive had a couple of them, and im a pretty accommodating person, but this woman was pissing me off from the start so I decided to run with it.

I thought about trying to drag it out too, cuz by the time we finished it was like 30 sec before 9 and any longer and if she still wanted to come in I coulda said "no".

Maybe it's just the mean customer-disliking person inside me but I just LOVE when I tell a customer we close in 30-40 min so be here to pick ur order up before 9, and they show up 10-20 min after we close, pounding on the locked door, and I go out to tell them off from the other side of the glass. Now thats fun to see their expressions change from anger, to frustration, to humiliation, back to anger again as they stomp off.