The Customers Charter

[Lace Neil Singer]

Or, rules that customers must abide by.

1. Do not whistle or sing while packing. We do not wish to work in an avary. Or at least do requests.

2. Do not ask for help packing unless you pertain to one of the following descriptions; disabled, elderly, with unusually large amount of shopping. No, being bone idle doesn't count as disabled.

3. Shut that child up. Seriously, or else duct tape will be applied.

4. Closed means closed. It doesn't mean, closed to everyone cept you, or closed after you.

5. Store policy does not change for anyone. Asking to see a supervisor/duty manager/manager will not work.

6. Never EVER utter these words: "But it's so much cheaper at *competitor*". You will be tarred and feathered and shipped over there, since you obviously prefer it.

7. Also uttering any of these phrases will result in £10 added to your bill: "It must be free!" "Made it this morning!" "Are you bored?"

8. Sunday trading hours change for no-one either.

9. We have lives outside the supermarket, even if you don't.

10. The pens are ours. Buy your own, dammit!

[Anakah]

Number seven is funny. I hate it when they bring up their poker chips and its like twenty-five dollars and they ask for a big bill. "All hundred's please." And they laugh like it was some kind of new joke that I haven't heard and faked laughed at ten million times before.