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Is he doing what I think he is doing?

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  • Is he doing what I think he is doing?

    When I had just turned 18 I worked at a Taco Bell, this particular store was heavy traffic especially around 1-3am, the drunk rush as I called it.

    For those who don't know first hand the experience of a drunk rush, they are very...unique. Looking past the fact that most of these people are just leaving the many different bars and night clubs in the area and are driving heavily intoxicated, their moods are extreme.

    One drunk person can push every button you have without even knowing it and put you in a horrible mood, and the very next will be so entertaining that you forget all about the prick beforehand.

    One particular night we were in the midst of the wonderful drunk rush and cars were wrapped around the building and backed out into the street as usual for a friday.

    We closed our dining room at 10pm every night, leaving only the drive-thru open. I was working the line this night with my manager and my best friend was working the window.

    It was a fairly typical rush for the most part, but at one point I turned my attention from the line and looked out into the dining room. From the line it was easy to see into the dining room, and from there into the parking lot because the front of the store was basically all windows.

    When I turned my head I noticed a man standing directly infront of the store at the largest window there was. At first it was just odd to see a guy standing there, but after a second I noticed what it was he was standing there for.

    "Is he doing what I think he is doing?" I asked my manager.

    At my words both my manager and friend looked out to see the guy. Indeed he was doing exactly what I thought. Directly across from that huge window was a secluded area, with bushes even. This guy however thought it would be a better idea to pee all over our window while he was waiting in the long line of cars.

    We all had a good laugh about the random man peeing on the store, and then after he had returned to his car my manager got the cops on the phone(At this location, on a friday or saturday night it wasn't unusual for us to have the cops swing by for one thing or another).

    We knew exactly which car the man got back into with his girlfriend and decided to stall them once they got to the window until the cops arrived. Their food was ready but my friend would tell them every couple of minutes that it would take a couple more minutes.

    So the cops are on their way, we have the guy who marked our store sitting at the window. What makes the story better is that when they came to the window my friend noticed two things right off. The first thing was that the guy had a joint lit and was smoking it, the second and more entertaining in my opinion is that my friend went to school and was friends with the girl driving the car. Had we known that it was his friend's boyfriend peeing on the store we probably would have just laughed and went about our business.

    The cops arrived and approached the car, and shortly after cuff the guy and take him off. I assume the girl wasn't drunk because she wasn't arrested for driving drunk. Her reaction to her boyfriend JUST being arrested?

    "Can you take two tacos off that order, I'm not going to need them now."

  • #2
    "Can you take two tacos off that order, I'm not going to need them now."
    Gold. Pure gold.

    Reminds me of the time I went on a bus trip to a Brewers game at County Stadium through my dad's work. We were leaving the parking lot and ended up stuck in a traffic jam under a highway underpass--where we got a close-up view of two guys relieving themselves.

    Much laughing and banging on the windows and shouting "Hey! We can see you!" ensued.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • #3
      Oh, you're almost making me miss the drunk rush we used to get before they turned the overnight calls over to an answering service. The drunk calls would start up at ten pm and continue until about an hour after the bars closed in all time zones. Guys calling up wanting to buy four dozen roses, chocolates, teddy bears, you name it, for ladies they'd met up with at the bar and wanted to impress. You try telling a super drunk man that no florist is available at 1 am to bring enough roses to make his chances of getting laid go up. ROFLMAO. Memories!
      "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

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      • #4
        In my college daze, in the neighborhood I lived in, if you got hungry after 9 pm it was taco bell or bust. I recall on a few drunken rush nights as you describe, the car in front of me would have someone open the car door, and puke their brains out. I always thought, yea.. that guy definitely needs some chalupas. Get him some hot sauce too.
        I will never go to school!

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        • #5
          Quoth Jodou1 View Post
          "Can you take two tacos off that order, I'm not going to need them now."


          That's love for ya.
          Unseen but seeing
          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
          3rd shift needs love, too
          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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          • #6
            What did they charge him with?

            In most states in the US, if you are convicted of publice urination, they classify you as a sex offender.
            Just because a customer expects you to put some effort into your job, that does not make them an SC.

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            • #7
              Quoth LifeCarnie View Post
              What did they charge him with?

              In most states in the US, if you are convicted of publice urination, they classify you as a sex offender.
              Are you serious? That's a little extreme. I thought it was just indecent exposure. (as opposed to decent exposure I guess)
              I will never go to school!

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              • #8
                ^^ Welcome to the world of Zero Tolerance.

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                • #9
                  Quoth LifeCarnie View Post
                  In most states in the US, if you are convicted of publice urination, they classify you as a sex offender.
                  Time to pull out the SC lingo.

                  That's ridiculous!

                  Really though, it is.

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                  • #10
                    Indecent exposure has been classified as a sex offence. So if you get caught mooning someone you go into a public database FOREVER it's for the children.

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                    • #11
                      "Can you take two tacos off that order, I'm not going to need them now."[/QUOTE]

                      Most excellent!

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                      • #12
                        You're reminding me of my days in a 24 hour place. We were right down the road from not only most of the bars in town, but an area where they would close the street and set up outdoor booths for alcohol, and we were right down the road from the strip clubs. Triple whammy. We had people fall asleep in their cars in the drive thru and then we would have to go wake them up. We had people pleasuring themselves and others in the car at the window in front of us. You name it, it happened. Always nuts.

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                        • #13
                          Had a chap do that against the back wall of the car park where I work at the moment.

                          For those of you who don't know what I do lets just say there was a very prompt police response!
                          A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth LifeCarnie View Post
                            What did they charge him with?

                            In most states in the US, if you are convicted of publice urination, they classify you as a sex offender.
                            And in Milwaukee, it gets you beaten until your skull is fractured.
                            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth LifeCarnie View Post
                              What did they charge him with?

                              In most states in the US, if you are convicted of publice urination, they classify you as a sex offender.
                              I am not actually sure what he was charged with but I think the joint he was smoking took priority in the cop's eyes.

                              The location I worked at was also near the strip clubs. We had a guy fall asleep in the drive-thru before too, but he managed to drive his big muscle car onto this really skinny tree which actually didn't break. We TRIED to wake him up but he was completely wasted, we got the cops to come and they were able to stir him after a bit. Then they asked him if he knew where he was(he was standing under a giant sign that was lit up that said 'Taco Bell') and he had no idea.

                              I think all of my best stories happened in my eight months at that store, the location + the night shift brought out the loonies.

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