do you have that stuff?

[edible_hat]

SC: Do you have that stuff? The new stuff? I saw ana d for it.
me: Ummm.... (thinks: is there a polite way to say "Be specific, you idiot"?)
SC: The ad was on TV if that helps.

Eventually, by asking about the ad, my co-worker and I were able to figure out what she wanted - a new(ish) kind of chewing gum with a liquid center. It didn't help that she'd mentally combined ads for two different brands.

[Imogene]

SC: Do you have that stuff? The new stuff? I saw ana d for it.
me: Ummm.... (thinks: is there a polite way to say "Be specific, you idiot"?)

"Nothing numbs me better than 'The Stuff'!"

And, yes, you can always ask them to describe the commercial, to start with. Or just what the item is supposed to do.
"Oh, man, it solves world hunger, does the laundry, and when you stick a five in it, a hundred comes out the other end."
"So, it's a black box that multiplies by twenty?"

[HawaiianShirts]

SC: The ad was on TV if that helps.

I had some woman do that to me when I worked in a call center. She wanted "the thing" that she saw on TV. Since my computer didn't populate a script for me, telling me what "the thing" was like it usually would, I couldn't be much help unless I could figure out what she wanted. This is about how it went, if my memory serves me correctly.

Me: What is it you want to order?
Her: It's this thing on TV.
Me: Can you describe it for me?
Her: It's... this thing! It's on TV. It's on channel 14 right now.
Me: I'm afraid I still don't know what it is. Does it have a name?
Her: Just turn on your TV over there. It's on channel 14!
Me: I'm in a different part of the country, ma'am. It would be on a different channel for me, if it's on at all. If you could just describe the item, I might...
Her: Channel 14! It's the thing they're advertising on channel 14! Just turn on your ******* TV and order it for me!
Me: (dropping all politeness) I don't have a TV here. There are no TVs in this office. Unless you can tell me what "this thing" is, I can't help you.
Her: It's the thing in the ad on channel 14! It's... Holy ****, that's too expensive.
- click -

I've been doing retail and customer service stuff for almost five years now. When do I get my mind-reading kit?

[Becks]

HawaiianShirts, I bet that was just one time in which you wanted to go through the phone lines with a clue stick, huh?

[depechemodefan]

Yesterday I had a conversation sort of like that:

SC: Can you give me the number for Marshpan, he's an attorney.
Me: can you spell the name for me (note, I'm using a different name than what she gave me)
SC: I don't know. Marshpan? Marchpan? Marche...? He's on tv
Me: *googles, looks in phone book, looks in the Texas Legal Directory* I'm sorry ma'm he's not listed.
SC: It's Marshpan.
Me: I'm not finding him.
SC: He's on TV.
Me: Maybe you should watch tv again.
SC: He wears a white hat.
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not finding him. I looked in the phone book and the TExas Legal Directory. I can't find him.
SC: But he's on tv.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't find him.

[marty]

I get kids sending their clueless parents in

"I want that Mario game."
"For what system..DS, Gamecube, Wii?"
"I don't know."
"Do you know the title more specifically?"
"No."


Your mind reading kit comes with your Right to Refuse Service on Basis of Idiocy packet.

[BoxGirl]

People are funny how they assume you know everything about all the TV commercials. I once got a call from a lady who wanted to know who the singer was on "that one commercial".

... okay...

[Apathy]

"I want that Mario game."
"For what system..DS, Gamecube, Wii?"
"I don't know."
"Do you know the title more specifically?"
"No."

This is like going to Lowe's (home improvement store). Knowledgeable people send morons in to buy very specific products. And they fail. Every time.

Don't send someone - go your damn self.

[Megg]

My hubby does that to me, sends me to the hardware store. Luckily, he's always very specific and writes stuff down, otherwise, I would be an SC definitely.

I had these people come through the other night who wanted "that thing" we advertised last week. Luckily, I knew what they were talking about, so I said "Oh, that thing? You know, with the stuff?" They said "Yes! That thing!"

[Ironclad Alibi]

SC: Do you have that stuff? The new stuff? I saw ana d for it.
me: Ummm.... (thinks: is there a polite way to say "Be specific, you idiot"?)
SC: The ad was on TV if that helps.

Eventually, by asking about the ad, my co-worker and I were able to figure out what she wanted - a new(ish) kind of chewing gum with a liquid center. It didn't help that she'd mentally combined ads for two different brands.

A chewing gum with a liquid center? I remember that from the 70s.

[Dark Psion]

Had a phone call like that today.

"Yes, I got a plant as a gift, it's one of those green ones, could it have bugs on it?"

I told her she needed to bring in a sample leaf of the plant and a frozen Salmon.

[Broomjockey]

Stuff, eh?

[zigcat]

I used to get calls like that when I worked directory: People wanting the toll free number for "That thing they just saw on TV."

ME: Thing?
SC: Yeah it was just on the TV. It was one of those things that you tie around your middle and it gives you a flat stomach.
ME: Do you remember what it's called?
SC: Awesome abs? something like that.
i do a search for Awesome abs. Nothing
ME: Unfortunately not finding anything listed under Awesome abs?
SC: Well it's [I]something[/I ] like that.
ME: Not very likely it's going to be in our database. Generally those toll free order numbers are only temporary for as long as the product is being offered.
SC: So you're not going to give me the number.
ME: Without further information there's not a number I can give you. However, if you do a google search on popular "as seen on TV" products. You might find the same or similar product.
SC: Why can't you do that. That's why I called you.
ME: Unfortunately we don't have internet access on our computers.
SC: That's a bunch of shit.
ME: I'm inclined to agree with you sir, but that's all I can think to offer you at this point. I'll be happy to credit you for this call.
SC: Yeah you better you've been no help at all.

[edible_hat]

A chewing gum with a liquid center? I remember that from the 70s.

This is a new improved one that, if the commercial (which was actually a combination of two different commercials) is to be believed, can destroy tiny tiny anthropomorphic coffee cups by using breakdancing to summon a very small thunderstorm.

[HawaiianShirts]

Had another one yesterday!

SC: I need a cable.
Me: What kind?
SC: I don't know.
Me: What are you trying to connect?
SC: Well, I have this thing I need to connect to my computer. My brother gave it to me.
Me: And what would this thing be?
SC: I don't know.
Me: Do you know what it's supposed to do?
SC: No. My brother gave it to me and told me to hook it up to my computer and it would do something. I don't know.
Me: I'm afraid I don't know what cable to sell you, then. Is it a printer or a router? TV tuner? USB hub? Webcam? Speakers? Toaster?
SC: I don't know! What do guys normally give their sisters for their computers?
Me: ... Uh...
SC: Ugh! Lemme call him.

It was a USB wireless adapter. She didn't need a cable after all.

HawaiianShirts, I bet that was just one time in which you wanted to go through the phone lines with a clue stick, huh?

One of many, yes. She was one of my dumber callers, right up there with the guy who gave me ALL the information I asked for on the BowFlex line before finally asking why I couldn't just tell him the number of the room in which his daughter was supposed to be recovering from surgery.

Your mind reading kit comes with your Right to Refuse Service on Basis of Idiocy packet.

Mine must be backordered. Or lost in the netherworld of "the back" in my store.