Customer Complains of Being Shipwrecked & Quotes Bible Verses

[Format C]

I decoded and found the date of the apocalypse.

[protege]

"Someone set him up the bomb."

All your base are belong to us...

[Saydrah]

I think I'm going to use this line with people who are close to me when they do something wrong.

"Your lack of ability to clean up after yourself while in my house has greatly harmed my affection for you."

I think you're onto something there.

[KitterCat]

This is an actual e-mail from a very strange cable customer:

"Your home page being inactive greatly harmed my affection for you. If you can fix it in a way that I can take the story notes, I would again feel proud of your company. Madness is also when your company demands full pay for high-speed service!! I relayed this hearsay in a reversed way, but now I sing Amazing Grace because your employees have saved a wretched programmer like me. Now I see how to clear out trash. It’s amazing they came and found me ship-wrecked on the high sea with slaves of bad words against you but Paul's Eph:2.8 converted me (Mr. Newton to scribe this song near 1474 that has made sweet the sound in most of your company’s churches) that not of myself could I find. To them only, I say thanks for this gift."

Maybe it takes being brought in a ridged church home, but I actually understand this. The customer is complaining at first that they couldn’t use their high-speed internet connection. They then go on to say that some one helped them, using a very bad analogy of the song Amazing Grace. Not only did the tech help them with their internet connection, but taught them how to clear out their trash. They then go on to say that originally they were very angry (ship-wrecked on the high seas with slaves of bad words = I wanted to curse you people out using as many four lettered words that could come to my mind)

The Paul’s Eph 2:8 refers to Paul’s letter to the Philippians verse “And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. “ So the writer is saying that he is humbling himself. I’m not sure what the 1474 is, but I’m sure it refers to some sort of song.

That being said, the customer needs to make themselves a bit more planer in speech. Something that anybody could understand would have been nice.

[Geek King]

I decoded and found the date of the apocalypse.

Bad news: It was last Thursday, and no one noticed.

[MTNLaurelPoacher]

The customer complaint letter and the sunday school lesson joined together and made the basterd child email.

If this was not just a huge screwup, i wonder how this person's mind works, or how they communicate in open society. This sort of Biblical Tourettes syndrom cound make things complicated.

- Example -

"Welcome to Burger Barn. Can I take your order?"

"Yes, I would like if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; with no pickles; and it shall remove the tomato; and nothing shall be impossible to you, and a coke with a bit of ice. '

"UUh... Please drive around for your total."

[smileyeagle1021]

The customer complaint letter and the sunday school lesson joined together and made the basterd child email.

If this was not just a huge screwup, i wonder how this person's mind works, or how they communicate in open society. This sort of Biblical Tourettes syndrom cound make things complicated.

- Example -

"Welcome to Burger Barn. Can I take your order?"

"Yes, I would like if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younder place; with no pickles; and it shall remove the tomato; and nothing shall be impossible to you, and a coke with a bit of ice. '

"UUh... Please drive around for your total."

OMG, I so want to use that the next time I'm in a drive through...

oh and as to the original letter I don't know if that guy has had too many drugs or not enough...

[Format C]

Bad news: It was last Thursday, and no one noticed.

D@mmit!

[Andara Bledin]

Ya know, normally I'd say you need to be on drugs for something like this to make sense, BUT....I'm on a lot of cold meds right now, and this still doesn't make any sense!

Yeah... wrong type of drugs.

Although, if you mix the right medicines, you might end up with the right type as a byproduct.

Bad news: It was last Thursday, and no one noticed.

I never could get the hang of Thursdays...

^-.-^

[StarSong]

I definitely think the customer wrote an e-mail in a language other than e-mail and then ran it through some kind of translator website.

Decoding a bit more of the e-mail... the customer said:

"(Mr. Newton to scribe this song near 1474 that has made sweet the sound in most of your company’s churches)"

"Amazing Grace" was written by John Newton, a former slave trader. The text was written in 1779, though, so I'm not sure what the 1474 thing is about.

[greensinestro]

Maybe this person is related to that woman in "The Mist", the one who never shut up the entire time and literally had herself a congregation by the time everyone else escaped.