Quoth PuckishOne
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Any fool can criticize, comdemn, and complain—and most do. ~ Dale Carnegie
Sarah: That's not fair!
Jareth: You say that so often. I wonder what your basis for comparison is...
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SC: (next to a production machine)Why does it smell like vitamins?
Me:
SC: Do you have stefy's new cd
Me:We make vitamins
SC:so you don't have it?
Me:No
SC:Well then transfer me to the warehouse
Me:It's not a warehouse music store
SC:Tell my pos husband that it's over
Me:Um... wrong number
SC: (says coworkers name)
Me:OH!KAHN: I thought being smart person in Texas set her apart.
KAHN: If my girl doesn't wrestle, I'll show you who put the sue in Souphanousinphone!
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SC: So, so you know how much this part would cost at Ford?
Me: Um, no.
SC: Do I really need to know the make and model of my car for parts?I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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"How much is a free cup of ice?"
...Um. First of all, they're not free. Second, you asked how much a free item costs. The contradictions made my head spin.Last edited by Great Unknown; 09-15-2006, 04:53 AM.
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Quoth Gravekeeper View PostMe: Good Evening, Such & Such Technologies
SC: Yeah, can I get a cab to blah blah.
Me: This isn't a cab company
SC: So I can't get a cab?
Here's a few of mine:
SC: I need to get a flu shot and am wondering if I need to make an appointment or if I can just drop in?
Me: This is an accounting office.
Me: ...and this mattress requires a slat foundation for support. It costs $x.
SC: Does the frame have wheels?
Me: It's actually not a frame. It's a foundation. It looks like a mattress, really. It sits on your frame and supports your mattress - without it, the mattress would sag in the middle.
SC: Oh. It all sounds very confusing. Does the frame have wheels?
Customer 1: What do you think of these boxers, hon?
Customer 2: I dunno! I'd have to see them on you!
Me: I take it you're a couple?
Customer 2: [turns beet red as #1 and I grin at her]
SC: So the mattresses are shipped from Ottawa. Will the strike at the port affect that?
Me: Uh, no, since there isn't any actual water between here and Ottawa, the mattresses arrive on trucks.
SC: "Hi! Is she here?"
Me: "Is WHO here?"
SC: "You know...she!"
Me: [confused expression]
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Quoth Dips View PostThat made a bunch of brain cells run screaming out of my ears and hide. Now I have to spend the rest of my lunch break finding them and coaxing them back into my head."Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit
"Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77
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Quoth repsac View PostSC: It says have I ever been convicted of a felony. Does it count if I'm charged with one?
Me: <blink blink>
Mongo
BTW: The charge was a violation of the crusing laws in my home town. If you drive past a certain point more than three times in a 30 minute period you're "cruising". In my case I was getting dinner groceries and forgot the milk and had to go back...past the cop. Thank god for time/date stamped reciptsI never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?
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Quoth Seanette View PostI'm grabbing this as a sig.
My husband reminded me of one from the coin shop. It was lost two hacks ago, so here it is again:
Coin shop guy: OK, we can ship that today. I'll just need your shipping address.
Cust [suddenly suspicious]: What do you need THAT for?
No. He never gave a shipping address.
And no. He never understood why they couldn't ship to him without it.The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.
The stupid is strong with this one.
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Male SC: What kind of doctor is a urologist?
Me:...uh....someone who takes care of your urinary tract and attached structures?
SC: Oh! Thanks!
Me:
BLond teeny bopper SC: soooo....how much will this be with my insurance?
Me: I'm not certain, but I can find out for you. Do you have your insurance card with you?
SC: what? you mean you don't KNOW what my insurance is?
Me: *blink blink* um, there are many many plans, all with different levels of service, and you are a brand new customer here. No, I don't know.
Me: I'm sorry sir, insurance won't pay for this medication. I can fax the doctor for you and see if he can convince insurance to pay for it, though.
Cranky SC: What do you mean? It has refills!
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Quoth Dips View Post
My husband reminded me of one from the coin shop. It was lost two hacks ago, so here it is again:
Coin shop guy: OK, we can ship that today. I'll just need your shipping address.
Cust [suddenly suspicious]: What do you need THAT for?
No. He never gave a shipping address.
And no. He never understood why they couldn't ship to him without it."Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit
"Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77
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