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You Must Be This Smart To Buy A Hot Dog

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  • You Must Be This Smart To Buy A Hot Dog

    Before I start my story here is a machine similar to the one we have at work



    A guy comes in and wanders over to the hot dog machine. He weakly pulls on the drawer that holds the buns, it doesn't open. He then turns to me and asks where the buns are. I tell him it's in the drawer he just tried to open.

    I get distracted by a customer and when I look back at him he's pulling on the top of the machine. "What are you doing?" I ask, confused. "I'm trying to get the machine open so I can get a hot dog."

    Stunned by his abject stupidity I tell him to push the button on the machine and use the tongs to remove it. He starts pressing on the little yellow triangles that warn people that the machine is hot.

    "No, push the black button and hold it down." He pushes the black button and immediately lets go. "You have to push the button and hold it to get the machine to stop." He pushes it again and lets the button go again.

    "No you have to hold it," I told him once more. He immediately grabs the top of the machine and starts pulling on it. "What are you doing?" I ask again. "I pushed the button and the machine still won't open." He whines.

    Trying not to lose my temper I tell him, "You don't need to open the machine. Push the black button and remove the hot dog with the tongs." "It's too complicated, you have to do it for me."

    I walked over and turned off the machine. I handed him the tongs and told him to simply remove the hot dog from the machine. I guess the annoyance was evident in my voice and he did exactly what I told him.

    Seriously it's not that hard to make a flippin' hot dog is it?
    My Horror Blog

    Cinemania

  • #2
    Quoth TruthHurts View Post
    Seriously it's not that hard to make a flippin' hot dog is it?
    Evidently it is!

    Personally I'd have taken more delight in watching him struggle and whine, but then I'm not working there
    A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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    • #3
      I too would have watched him struggle and hopefully touch a bunch of screamin' hot parts of the machine and go "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" repeatedly, like the pimply-faced kid on The Simpsons
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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      • #4
        Okay, that guy is wandering the streets of Metropolis alone? Where's his owner??
        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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        • #5
          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
          I too would have watched him struggle and hopefully touch a bunch of screamin' hot parts of the machine and go "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" repeatedly, like the pimply-faced kid on The Simpsons
          Oh that would be too funny!
          I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
          Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
          Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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          • #6
            Quoth TruthHurts View Post

            Seriously it's not that hard to make a flippin' hot dog is it?

            I can make a hot dog...it's the flippin' part I have trouble with...

            I don't go in for ancient wisdom
            I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
            It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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            • #7
              Quoth BookstoreEscapee View Post
              I can make a hot dog...it's the flippin' part I have trouble with...

              Yeah!

              lil' bastards are round! won't flip - just roll.......

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              • #8
                In the past, people who were too stupid to obtain food would starve to death and be less likely to pass on the stupid gene to the next generation.

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                • #9
                  Yeah, good times, good tmes... *sigh*
                  "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

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                  • #10
                    dear fornicating god! Humanity is doomed.
                    I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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                    • #11
                      I wonder what he'd do to the poor, unsuspecting Slushie™ machine.
                      Unseen but seeing
                      oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                      There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                      3rd shift needs love, too
                      RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                      • #12
                        Almost exactly the same thing with our computers when we upgraded to XP. A coworker was having some real problems, so I told her to hold down the power button down "for at least five seconds until the computer turns off." She holds it down for one second, then starts complaining that nothing happened.

                        *face meet palm*

                        Five seconds. Five seconds. Please, just hold it down until it turns off, for the love of all that you think is holy, please, I have my own work to do, I'm not even in IT, please, just leave me alooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone. *sniffle*

                        I finally had to do it.
                        Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                        HR believes the first person in the door
                        Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                        Document everything
                        CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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                        • #13
                          Quoth crazylegs View Post
                          Evidently it is!

                          Personally I'd have taken more delight in watching him struggle and whine, but then I'm not working there
                          Can't do that. You don't want to take the chance he BREAKS the machine. Unlikely as it is, it could happen.
                          MMO Addicts group

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                          • #14
                            Or he hurts himself and then sues your store.
                            "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Samaliel View Post
                              Or he hurts himself and then sues your store.
                              I can see it now.
                              SC; "Judge, I hurt myself touching THEIR machine after I was told not to use it in that way, and now I want to be compensated."
                              Judge: "Wait. You were told NOT to touch the hot metal and yet you proceeded to touch it anyway."
                              SC: "Yes. Make them pay for it."
                              Judge: "Okay, fair enough. Mister SC, I'm charging you with wasting the courts time. This court is adjourned."

                              Hmm...
                              MMO Addicts group

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