Tweet
Alright a few from this week. Long.
Don't pop your last brain cell...
Part of my job is to check to see where our equipment is located so we charge the proper tax on it. So I get a call from a girl who's freaking out over her bill. She swears that if the asset is purchased after the 16th of the month, only half a months tax is due.
Well, their asset was purchased on the 31st, and she thinks she only owes for half a month of the FOLLOWING months tax bill. I asked her for the name or number of the rule so I could forward it to our tax department. When pressed all she said was, "It's a rule."
And there is a rule if you're an idiot, you pay me a million dollars... It's a RULE!
She also stated that their equipment was not in the particular county we had it located in and asked why we thought it was there. I told her it was part of the original contract they signed and that's what they told us.
Since it was wrong, we can do a change on location. The conversation went like this:
SC: It says here in our original contract that it's located X and it's not. We never said that.
Me: That's right, we just pulled a random address from the phone book and used our one in 3.6 billion chance we got some place close that was actually owned by you guys! Ok, what is the address where this is primarly located?
SC: 02055
Me: ...
SC: ...
Me: And?
SC: Oh, you wanted the full address?
Me:
Yes. What is that number?
SC: Oh, that was just the zip code. You really need the full address? You can't locate it by zip code alone?
Me: No we need the full address.
SC: *Gives address*
Me: What is the county?
SC: There is no county. Just *City*.
Me: Every large metropolitian area, save for DC has a county.
SC: There is no county, it's just *City*.
Me: Yes, there is a county.
SC: Hang on let me check. *back ground babble* No. Just *City*. No county.
Me: Ok then, I'll try and process this, but they are going to want the county this is located in.
SC: There is no county.
So I end the call and ask my co worker this really stupid question. I asked her if *City* had a county. She burst out laughing and looked at me like I was an idiot. I shrugged and told her I knew it was stupid, but was checking. Of course a google search produced my reply. The name of the county was the SAME name as the city. Example- Hartford, CT is in HARTFORD county.
We processed the paperwork and when I called to let her know, I said, in the least smarmy way possible, "When we did your address change, we found that the county you are in is *City County* and you are in *City* town. Since that will appear on your bill I thought I would let you know so you weren't confused."
Her reply, "Well isn't saying we are in *City* the same as saying we are in *City County*?
No you blathering idiot, you spent a good ten minutes arguing with me that there was NO county
My turtle is like a NASCAR driver!
Some of the companies I work with do mortgages. When they do mortgages, they put a lien on the house.
Today I get a call from a Realitor who was calling as this company didn't take the lien off the property. Sometimes it slips through the cracks and really doesn't make a huge difference until the person tries to sell the land or has a loss.
Well this couple was trying to sell their property and it dawned on them they never got the property release form. Normally it's not a big deal, HOWEVER this is a special case. If it wasn't I wouldn't be writing about it.
This mortgage loan ENDED in 1977. The original contract was written by a company that was absorbed by another company who was absorbed by another company who was absorbed by another company. Yes, it *dawned* on these people that 31 years LATER they never got the paper work.
Of course they didn't have any kind of customer or account numbers for me to try and locate them, and because it was so old, I doubted if I could even find them in my computer records. We'd have to go into the cave of off sight storage down in the nuclear bunker guarded by the cwn annwn while a dragon uses those papers as a blanket.
It's Geek to me!
I used to think I new about computers. Boy was I wrong.
My company does Tech Support for all our customers, a lot of times they'll call on the business support line instead of the tech support line. I can kind of understand the confusion, but if some one's have techincal issues, one would think that calling the TECH line would be more obvious. I have no idea how to VPN to the DVD PDQ or anything of the sort. I have very limited technical knowledge, especially when it comes to the computer programs we use, I'm as clueless as the next person.
Today I get a call from a woman who couldn't access an off site intranet server. When she called my line I explained to her she called the wrong line and that I would transfer her to the right line.
That went in one ear and out the other.
SC: Well, I just need to know how to access this site. When I enter my password it tells me it's invalid.
Me: Ok, which site are you accessing?
SC: *intranet server site*
Me: I'm not familar with that. Are you trying to VPN in?
SC: No, I just want to check my email from home.
Me: ??? Sorry, but no idea. Let me transfter you, I'm looking to see if anyone is available for you.
SC: No need to transfer, all I'm trying to do is access *intranet server site* and it tells me my password is invalid.
Me: I understand that, but I don't work in tech support and don't even have the slightest idea what you are trying to access.
SC: I'm trying to access *intranet server site*.
Me: I got that, but I don't know what program that is.
SC: So how do I get in?
Me: I'm not sure, I'm transfering you to tech support. You called the business support line.
SC: But I just need to get into this and can't.
Me: I know, I've forwarded the case details to our tech support group.
SC: But I'm not at home where anyone can call me!
Me:
But you're one a phone now, we can't call you back on this line in less than 15 minutes?
SC: No. I can't get in, what should I do?
Me: I'm not sure, I'm trying to transfer you to someone who can help.
*Repeat until she finally understands that all her words are Geek to me and are flying over my head faster than a jet plane*
I had at least 2 calls like that today where the person on the other line had no idea they weren't calling tech support and that they knew more about what the heck they were doing than I was, but wanted me to fix it. I don't understand what VPN, RPC, SMB or SQL means. It's all Geek to me!
I'm sure there will be more.
Don't pop your last brain cell...
Part of my job is to check to see where our equipment is located so we charge the proper tax on it. So I get a call from a girl who's freaking out over her bill. She swears that if the asset is purchased after the 16th of the month, only half a months tax is due.
Well, their asset was purchased on the 31st, and she thinks she only owes for half a month of the FOLLOWING months tax bill. I asked her for the name or number of the rule so I could forward it to our tax department. When pressed all she said was, "It's a rule."
And there is a rule if you're an idiot, you pay me a million dollars... It's a RULE!She also stated that their equipment was not in the particular county we had it located in and asked why we thought it was there. I told her it was part of the original contract they signed and that's what they told us.
Since it was wrong, we can do a change on location. The conversation went like this:
SC: It says here in our original contract that it's located X and it's not. We never said that.
Me: That's right, we just pulled a random address from the phone book and used our one in 3.6 billion chance we got some place close that was actually owned by you guys! Ok, what is the address where this is primarly located?
SC: 02055
Me: ...
SC: ...
Me: And?
SC: Oh, you wanted the full address?
Me:
Yes. What is that number?SC: Oh, that was just the zip code. You really need the full address? You can't locate it by zip code alone?
Me: No we need the full address.
SC: *Gives address*
Me: What is the county?
SC: There is no county. Just *City*.
Me: Every large metropolitian area, save for DC has a county.
SC: There is no county, it's just *City*.
Me: Yes, there is a county.
SC: Hang on let me check. *back ground babble* No. Just *City*. No county.
Me: Ok then, I'll try and process this, but they are going to want the county this is located in.
SC: There is no county.
So I end the call and ask my co worker this really stupid question. I asked her if *City* had a county. She burst out laughing and looked at me like I was an idiot. I shrugged and told her I knew it was stupid, but was checking. Of course a google search produced my reply. The name of the county was the SAME name as the city. Example- Hartford, CT is in HARTFORD county.
We processed the paperwork and when I called to let her know, I said, in the least smarmy way possible, "When we did your address change, we found that the county you are in is *City County* and you are in *City* town. Since that will appear on your bill I thought I would let you know so you weren't confused."
Her reply, "Well isn't saying we are in *City* the same as saying we are in *City County*?
No you blathering idiot, you spent a good ten minutes arguing with me that there was NO countyMy turtle is like a NASCAR driver!
Some of the companies I work with do mortgages. When they do mortgages, they put a lien on the house.
Today I get a call from a Realitor who was calling as this company didn't take the lien off the property. Sometimes it slips through the cracks and really doesn't make a huge difference until the person tries to sell the land or has a loss.
Well this couple was trying to sell their property and it dawned on them they never got the property release form. Normally it's not a big deal, HOWEVER this is a special case. If it wasn't I wouldn't be writing about it.
This mortgage loan ENDED in 1977. The original contract was written by a company that was absorbed by another company who was absorbed by another company who was absorbed by another company. Yes, it *dawned* on these people that 31 years LATER they never got the paper work.
Of course they didn't have any kind of customer or account numbers for me to try and locate them, and because it was so old, I doubted if I could even find them in my computer records. We'd have to go into the cave of off sight storage down in the nuclear bunker guarded by the cwn annwn while a dragon uses those papers as a blanket.
It's Geek to me!
I used to think I new about computers. Boy was I wrong.
My company does Tech Support for all our customers, a lot of times they'll call on the business support line instead of the tech support line. I can kind of understand the confusion, but if some one's have techincal issues, one would think that calling the TECH line would be more obvious. I have no idea how to VPN to the DVD PDQ or anything of the sort. I have very limited technical knowledge, especially when it comes to the computer programs we use, I'm as clueless as the next person.
Today I get a call from a woman who couldn't access an off site intranet server. When she called my line I explained to her she called the wrong line and that I would transfer her to the right line.
That went in one ear and out the other.
SC: Well, I just need to know how to access this site. When I enter my password it tells me it's invalid.
Me: Ok, which site are you accessing?
SC: *intranet server site*
Me: I'm not familar with that. Are you trying to VPN in?
SC: No, I just want to check my email from home.
Me: ??? Sorry, but no idea. Let me transfter you, I'm looking to see if anyone is available for you.
SC: No need to transfer, all I'm trying to do is access *intranet server site* and it tells me my password is invalid.
Me: I understand that, but I don't work in tech support and don't even have the slightest idea what you are trying to access.
SC: I'm trying to access *intranet server site*.
Me: I got that, but I don't know what program that is.
SC: So how do I get in?
Me: I'm not sure, I'm transfering you to tech support. You called the business support line.
SC: But I just need to get into this and can't.
Me: I know, I've forwarded the case details to our tech support group.
SC: But I'm not at home where anyone can call me!
Me:
But you're one a phone now, we can't call you back on this line in less than 15 minutes?SC: No. I can't get in, what should I do?
Me: I'm not sure, I'm trying to transfer you to someone who can help.
*Repeat until she finally understands that all her words are Geek to me and are flying over my head faster than a jet plane*
I had at least 2 calls like that today where the person on the other line had no idea they weren't calling tech support and that they knew more about what the heck they were doing than I was, but wanted me to fix it. I don't understand what VPN, RPC, SMB or SQL means. It's all Geek to me!
I'm sure there will be more.
Comment