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Taken verbatim, save for editing important data as shown here.
"J" = other clerk who handles the wedding page.
"State Paper" = state newspaper that has ten times the manpower, money, etc., that we'll ever have.
"Miss SC" = evident. Though she's not a "miss" I like the irony.
"too-wide placement" = When we run an anniversary photo, of course we size it down to about two inches by two inches. So for it to work, both people's faces must be at least within the same half of the photo, preferably side by side. In this case, the woman was seated so her face was in the bottom left-hand corner while the VERY tall man was standing, leaving his face in the upper right-hand corner. On a 5 X 7 vertical picture, there was approximately 4.5 inches of space between the faces. NOT gonna work.
The letter. Usually I use a post-it. I used a yellow 8 x 11 piece of notebook paper this time.
J,
Miss SC e-mailed photo for anniversary announcement to run October 1.
Photo was unusuable because of too-wide placement.
Called Miss SC to inform her and ask if she had another photo.
Miss SC snottily informed me that this was what State Paper also informed her, but they finally relented and let her use it.
I informed Miss SC that was well and good for State Paper but that we could not use the photo and repeated that she would need to send her another.
She repeated matter-of-factly that State Paper was going to use it and insisted we did not need another photo.
Resisted urge to ask her if these were not the droids I was looking for.
Repeated to her that the picture would not do for our paper and could she please send another.
She repeated that she did not need another picture because State Paper could use it and "a paper is a paper is a paper".
Informed Miss SC again that all was well and good for State Paper, but it would not do for us.
Miss SC flew off the handle screaming that all papers are the same and if State Paper can do it, so can we.
Asked her if she was paying State Paper to run her announcement.
Miss SC shrieked that it was irrelevant, and that if State Paper could do it, so could we.
Resisted urge to inform her where she could place State Paper.
Informed her that if she had paid State Paper for her announcement, she could get whatever she wanted in there, but since she was using our free form, she had to obey our rules.
Miss SC shrieked that she could never find another photo in enough time and that the one we had would work.
Informed Miss SC that she had a full week to find a replacement before the deadline was up for her announcement, since she asked for it to be run on October 1.
Miss SC shrieked again that she had nowhere near enough time to find another photo.
Resisted urge to ask her if she or her husband believes cameras can steal their soul.
Repeated request that she procure another photo in accordance with our rules.
Miss SC bellowed that the photo we had would work since State Paper can use it.
Resisted urge to start laughing after thinking of CS.com's "Everywhere Else" thread.
Asked her again to procure another photo and repeated that she had a week to find one.
Miss SC promptly hangs up on me.
Since photo is unusable, I have already deleted it. I have marked the form with a hold request until such time as Miss SC sends us a new photo or informs us to run it without a photo. This will probably become a pain in our collective @$$es. Just letting you know.
"J" = other clerk who handles the wedding page.
"State Paper" = state newspaper that has ten times the manpower, money, etc., that we'll ever have.
"Miss SC" = evident. Though she's not a "miss" I like the irony.
"too-wide placement" = When we run an anniversary photo, of course we size it down to about two inches by two inches. So for it to work, both people's faces must be at least within the same half of the photo, preferably side by side. In this case, the woman was seated so her face was in the bottom left-hand corner while the VERY tall man was standing, leaving his face in the upper right-hand corner. On a 5 X 7 vertical picture, there was approximately 4.5 inches of space between the faces. NOT gonna work.
The letter. Usually I use a post-it. I used a yellow 8 x 11 piece of notebook paper this time.
J,
Miss SC e-mailed photo for anniversary announcement to run October 1.
Photo was unusuable because of too-wide placement.
Called Miss SC to inform her and ask if she had another photo.
Miss SC snottily informed me that this was what State Paper also informed her, but they finally relented and let her use it.
I informed Miss SC that was well and good for State Paper but that we could not use the photo and repeated that she would need to send her another.
She repeated matter-of-factly that State Paper was going to use it and insisted we did not need another photo.
Resisted urge to ask her if these were not the droids I was looking for.
Repeated to her that the picture would not do for our paper and could she please send another.
She repeated that she did not need another picture because State Paper could use it and "a paper is a paper is a paper".
Informed Miss SC again that all was well and good for State Paper, but it would not do for us.
Miss SC flew off the handle screaming that all papers are the same and if State Paper can do it, so can we.
Asked her if she was paying State Paper to run her announcement.
Miss SC shrieked that it was irrelevant, and that if State Paper could do it, so could we.
Resisted urge to inform her where she could place State Paper.
Informed her that if she had paid State Paper for her announcement, she could get whatever she wanted in there, but since she was using our free form, she had to obey our rules.
Miss SC shrieked that she could never find another photo in enough time and that the one we had would work.
Informed Miss SC that she had a full week to find a replacement before the deadline was up for her announcement, since she asked for it to be run on October 1.
Miss SC shrieked again that she had nowhere near enough time to find another photo.
Resisted urge to ask her if she or her husband believes cameras can steal their soul.
Repeated request that she procure another photo in accordance with our rules.
Miss SC bellowed that the photo we had would work since State Paper can use it.
Resisted urge to start laughing after thinking of CS.com's "Everywhere Else" thread.
Asked her again to procure another photo and repeated that she had a week to find one.
Miss SC promptly hangs up on me.
Since photo is unusable, I have already deleted it. I have marked the form with a hold request until such time as Miss SC sends us a new photo or informs us to run it without a photo. This will probably become a pain in our collective @$$es. Just letting you know.
You just made my day!
All she'll get is mostly empty space and if she's lucky, part of her or her husband's face 
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