Wherein I Invent New Words

[Aislin]

I though of you today GK

And whimpered.

I got a call today that made me think of you.

My standard greeting is "Thank you for calling the ___ photo lab on ___ street, how may I help you..."

notice photo lab in the greeting.

the reply I received was "I want to buy some mens pants."

I explained we were a photo lab. They guy argued with me about my place of work being a photo lab. Then called me "bitchy and rude" and asked me why I was bitchy and rude. I explained I was kind of busy, you know, developing film and helping customers... he said that was not his problem his problem was he needed pants.... At this point i gave up and hung up on him.

he called back 4 times trying to find pants. Finally I gave up and left the phone off the hook till i caught up my work.

[cinema guy]

I don’t know why people even buy them. I mean they bring only sadness and misfortune.

They’d probably fall off of the top of the fridge to the kitchen floor where the cat would attempt to ingest them, choke, run around the house in a panic, tripping your wife at the top of the staircase where she would then stumble and plummet two flights down and land in just the right way in order to sever her spine and cripple her for life. Oh, and she weas smoking and now the cigarette fell onto the carpet but your wifeis maimed and can’t move, she can only watch as the carpet slowly smolders, bursts into flames and burns the house down around with her and the cat while both spend their final moments silently pleading for you to rescue them you never do.

That's like the anti-lottery or maybe Dark Lottery.

Buy a tickat and bad things happen, don't buy a ticket and you get to keep your shiny dollar.

[Becks]

I’m guessing it was something more along the lines of they had to pick you up in front of the Starbucks on Granville after you stripped to your underwear, rubbed a Fudgesicle into your nutsack and started trying to paint “MOCCA IS MURDER” on the windows with your crotch. Unfortunately the arch of the M was a bit too tall for you to reach so they probably pulled up when you were awkwardly hop-humping the glass.

Sadly, I got one hell of a mental image on this one.

I need to be held and have applied.

[SteeleDragon78]

Maybe we should give GK a makeover......a Katie makeover!

Luxurious long Fabio hair, flirtatious long black eyelashes, lucious large lips, and a pink cammo bikini.

thanks, you just ruined my coffee and danish. may not be able to eat lunch now. hmmm that could be a new diet

[Sparky]

So keep it up, Sparky.

Hey!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Ugh, Hellish week at work. Though its not entirely my caller's faults -.-


How Did You Even Find the Plane?

Me: “Good evening, <hotel reservation service>. Are you calling to book a room?”
SC: “I got stuck here at the airport due to weather cancellations and my luggage hasn’t arrived yet.”
Me: “Ok, are you calling to book a room?”
SC: “My luggage isn’t here yet.”
Me: “…Ok, but do you need a hotel room?”
SC: "No!"
Me: "....then what exactly can I help you with?"
SC: “What happened to my luggage!?”

I would SO come up with a witty response to that. "Well let me check my system sir. (random keyboard clicking) Ah, I found your bags, they're currently on the way to Germany. Have a good night!" *click*

My Feelings, They Hurt.

Me: “Good evening, <company>.”
SC: “Hi.”
Me: “Hello, can I help you?”
SC: “Is this Katie?”

…of all the things I’ve been called over the years, strangely, this one hurts the most.

Like you Gravekeeper, I have a very deep manly voice. I also do not dress feminine like at all. That being said I have suffered the same indignity....TWICE. And one of the times....it was IN PERSON. Yes, the customer looked right at me and called me ma'am. That was tough to take.

I So Don't Care

Me: “Good evening, <client>. Are you calling to book a room?”
SC: “My flight was canceled so I’m stuck here.”
Me: “Ok, are you calling to book a room?”
SC: “I’m here in the airport now.”
Me: “Alright, are you calling to book a room?”
SC: “They gave me this coupon with your number on it.”
Me: “Yes, are you calling to book a room?”
SC: “I missed my connector so now I have to wait till the next flight out.”
Me: “Ok, but are you calling to book a room?”

Oh my God. For the love of all that’s holy and its extended family right down to little Susie’s goldfish would you just answer the fscking question please? It’s a simple yes or no question. I didn’t ask for your entire sob story. That’s why we ask “Are you calling to book a room” at the first of the call. So you can say yes or no. Period. If we wanted your sob story we’d say “Good morning, <client>, are you calling because you need someone to whine too? Because I’m willing and able. No, really, go on, please, waste the next 15 minutes of my life with your meaningless prattle. It’s not like I was going to use them anyway.”

Man your nights really go straight to hell when flights get canceled don't they?

P.S. I am so using "fuckcake" sometime soon. Likely at work.

[crazylegs]

I need to be held <snip>

Well, this is becoming a regular occurance!

[Gravekeeper]

GK - I really do not know how you do it... but tell that guy 'Tips for America' some fat teacher in Japan (me) said 'we are the Borg, you will be assimilated'

Oddly enough I haven't heard from the original Hot Tips guy for a few weeks. I have 3 new guys lately that are trying to fill in for him. But thats not too unusual. Sometimes he disappears for weeks at a time ( I assume either due to drugs or incarceration ) then he shows up and doesn't stop calling all night for 2 or 3 days. Usually from some pay phone somewhere.

So, the "coupon" is for a cheap rate on a room because you are stuck for the night, correct? I imagine somewhere on the "coupon" is explained what it is for. So, if you are not wanting to book a room, why would you call the number? Is there another possible purpose, besides whining?

EXACTLY. Gah! My coworker was saying that exact same thing the other night. The only way to get our number is to get the voucher for a hotel so why would you think we do anything else?

You can order lottery tickets over the phone?! How lazy can you get?

Its not like lotto 649. The local hospitals here take turns running charity lotteries through out the year to help raise extra funds. The grand prize is usually a multi million dollar home. Then there's a bunch of cars, tvs, etc as runner ups. But the tickets are typically $50-100 each.

Most of it is done by phone because BC has a quirky law whereby online gambling is illegal. So you can't order the tickets online. Well, you can order them but not pay for them since thats the technically illegal part. So if you order it online you have to wait for a call to get your payment information and it ends up being done by phone anyway. Which makes me wonder why they don't just call to begin with. Since ordering it online just makes twice as much work and you'll end up on the phone anyhow. -.-

he called back 4 times trying to find pants. Finally I gave up and left the phone off the hook till i caught up my work.

Sounds...familiar. Main difference being much as I hate it, I can in fact fullfill such pants desires.

Hey!

Damn, now I have to stop using that. Foiled!

Oh well, I'll always have "Fuckcake" unless someone is seriously going to sign up that CS name. ( Oddly I don't think I'd be surprised. >< )

I would SO come up with a witty response to that. "Well let me check my system sir. (random keyboard clicking) Ah, I found your bags, they're currently on the way to Germany. Have a good night!" *click*

I wish, but that's one of our biggest clients so its Serious Business(tm). I have no freedom to mess around on it. Though I admit the next thing I said to the guy was "I would have absolutely no idea." before I could stop myself. ><

Man your nights really go straight to hell when flights get canceled don't they?

Yep. Far as I know we're the only company that provides that kind of service and we do so to all of North America. So anytime ANY flight is canceled ANYWHERE those people end up calling us. So yeah it only takes one weather delay and we suddenly have several hundred people calling.




Also, I'm not a Katie! <sob>

[MystyGlyttyr]

Also, I'm not a Katie! <sob>

It's okay, Graves. If it makes you feel better, people call me "sir" on the phone all the time. Of course, I actually HAVE a fairly deep voice, so it's not too much of a surprise...

[Becks]

Well, this is becoming a regular occurance!

Yeah, well.

Oh well, I'll always have "Fuckcake" unless someone is seriously going to sign up that CS name. ( Oddly I don't think I'd be surprised. >< )

If I ever saw that, I'd die from surprise and laughter.

[AdminAssistant]

Excuse me....completely off-topic....


KITTY!!!!!

*ahem* We now return you to your scheduled GK thread.

[Gravekeeper]

Excuse me....completely off-topic....


KITTY!!!!!

*ahem* We now return you to your scheduled GK thread.

I should probably use my *actual* cat for this......

There we go.

[Kali]

Oh well, I'll always have "Fuckcake" unless someone is seriously going to sign up that CS name.

See, I don't think Fuckcake is one of your best.

It just doesn't roll off the tongue. It's difficult to say. "Fuckbat" is much better.

[Sliceanddice]

Fucktasticular is fun to say
oh and hows your kitty again GK?

[Gravekeeper]

See, I don't think Fuckcake is one of your best.

It just doesn't roll off the tongue. It's difficult to say. "Fuckbat" is much better.

But Fuckcake is....angrier.

Fuckmuffin? Fuckwaffle? Fucktart? Hmmm....Fuckcrumpet?


As for my cat, its out of its god damn mind as always. ><