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Very rarely does a guest do something that makes me want to hit them or trap them in the elevator for a few hours. 
We have one guest that has been staying with us for a few months solid. I'm not sure what he does, but i'm pretty sure he deals with very few actual people because his ego and his manners are awful. He insists on being a jerk about everything. For example, he wanted his room cleaned and after i told him it would be a half hour because the housekeepers were on their lunch break he replied with "That's not my problem, my room must be cleaned in 5 minutes or I take my business elsewhere." He has even been known to lecture my manager on the finer points of running a hotel properly when he has never done so. That would be like me telling an astronaut how to land the Space Shuttle.
This morning he comes up to the desk with bags of laundry.
Jerk: I need as many quarters as you can give me.
He hands me a $50. It was a busy weekend and our manager takes Sundays off so.. sure enough... I only had a $1.25 in quarters in the till.
Me: I'm sorry i've only got 5 of them, will that be enough?
Jerk: <snort> No it will not, I want two rolls of quarters.
Of course i don't have any
Me: I only have these. What i can do though is give you some fives and you can use the change machine at the car wash across the street.
Jerk: Ridiculous, you want me to go to a car wash for change?
Me: ...yeah.
You asshole, that is a perfectly reasonable suggestion
Jerk: No, i know you have a safe somewhere with money in it. Now i want two rolls of quarters... now!
Me: Look , i'm sorry but i'm out of change for today. Your best bet is going to be the car wash across the street and i'm sure the laundromat has a change machine too.
Jerk: I can't believe this place! This is worse than the last hotel i stayed at.
He reaches over the desk and snaps his fingers a few times and snatches the $50 from my hand. He points directly at me, with his finger a few inches from my face, growls something about how my manager will know about this and storms out.
Grr!!! Yeah that one really got to me. I was about to go into the back and punch the wall a few times. But our Bosnian maintenance man who saw the whole thing said to me "Do not worry brotha, when he check out we will beat him in parking lot for you."
We have one guest that has been staying with us for a few months solid. I'm not sure what he does, but i'm pretty sure he deals with very few actual people because his ego and his manners are awful. He insists on being a jerk about everything. For example, he wanted his room cleaned and after i told him it would be a half hour because the housekeepers were on their lunch break he replied with "That's not my problem, my room must be cleaned in 5 minutes or I take my business elsewhere." He has even been known to lecture my manager on the finer points of running a hotel properly when he has never done so. That would be like me telling an astronaut how to land the Space Shuttle.
This morning he comes up to the desk with bags of laundry.
Jerk: I need as many quarters as you can give me.
He hands me a $50. It was a busy weekend and our manager takes Sundays off so.. sure enough... I only had a $1.25 in quarters in the till.
Me: I'm sorry i've only got 5 of them, will that be enough?
Jerk: <snort> No it will not, I want two rolls of quarters.
Of course i don't have any
Me: I only have these. What i can do though is give you some fives and you can use the change machine at the car wash across the street.
Jerk: Ridiculous, you want me to go to a car wash for change?
Me: ...yeah.
You asshole, that is a perfectly reasonable suggestion
Jerk: No, i know you have a safe somewhere with money in it. Now i want two rolls of quarters... now!
Me: Look , i'm sorry but i'm out of change for today. Your best bet is going to be the car wash across the street and i'm sure the laundromat has a change machine too.
Jerk: I can't believe this place! This is worse than the last hotel i stayed at.
He reaches over the desk and snaps his fingers a few times and snatches the $50 from my hand. He points directly at me, with his finger a few inches from my face, growls something about how my manager will know about this and storms out.
Grr!!! Yeah that one really got to me. I was about to go into the back and punch the wall a few times. But our Bosnian maintenance man who saw the whole thing said to me "Do not worry brotha, when he check out we will beat him in parking lot for you."
Got 2 yesterday! 
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