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Dear sir,
I realize that you administer a prison vocational program and that the computers you need to activate don't have internet access or email access. This is not only a very good precaution, it is also the norm for all of our prison vocational program customers.
Therefore, we understand the need for you to activate manually, which requires the exchange of long strings of numbers. Most of our customers who administer prison vocational programs have managed to figure out that copying and pasting the information from the computers, then bringing it to their office computer and sending it by email to us is quite efficient. We respond by email and they have a nice printout of all the codes they need to bring back to the computers.
Apparently you guys are special. At first you decided to activate by SNAIL MAIL. We cooperated and send back the info by snail mail, but that was quite slow for you and you soon saw how impractical it was. Next you started calling us multiple times and we spent lots of time dictating long strings of numbers, then having to wait while you confirm them. This is a time waster for you and for us and I gently pointed out the advantages of using email.
That's when you told me you don't have an email address or any internet access. I believe that you don't have access to email in the prison, but NO email address? At all? Ever?
You confirmed it was the truth. So we continued slogging through doing things the hard way. You see, I figured you woudn't purposely make things more difficult for YOURSELF by lying to me about the email thing.
Then we got to an impasse. You asked for a registration code for a freeware product and I stated we normally only provide that code by email. I was about to let you know I was going to make an exception when two things hit me:
1. You started getting demanding before I could make the offer.
2. I realized that the product you were trying to register is only available BY DOWNLOAD from our web site, which means you got it on the internet which you have stated you can't get to.
I stated that you could email us from the computer where you downloaded the product and we'd be able to help.
Oh, my. You didn't like that one bit, did you? While you were berating me about the no internet/no email (at all, EVER) thing, I took a moment to google your prison on my computer.
Imagine my surprise when I found your name on the web site along with your picture (I think the guy who made your toupee owes you a refund) and your email address.
Now that I know you DO have an email address, I have to come up with a REASON that you would do things the hard way instead of the easy way. My only guess is that you HATE product activation and are trying to passive-agressive your way into not having to deal with copy protection by making US do things the hard way.
All I can say to that is HA! I'm the passive-agressive QUEEN. That will never, EVER work on me.
So we finished all the rest of your activations on this phone call and I made sure to be as nice as possible and took my time to make sure that there weren't any mistakes. I also made sure to mention how much easier and more accurate this would be for YOU if you had access to email off site, but, of course we'd take as long as necessary to make sure everything was right on the phone since this was your ONLY OPTION.
Oh, dear. That ref. code you gave me? Could you repeat it? It didn't work. Thank you. I got two of the numbers transposed. Good thing we caught that. Wait, when you read the 40-digit activation code back to me, the call dropped in the middle. Can you read it again? Thanks. So sorry this is taking so long, but we must be accurate.
Now that we've finished the call, I'm going to be sure to put your email address into every single license record so my co-workers will know you have an email address. I'm also going to follow up by emailing you to tell you that I hope we were able to help you today and to please contact us again if you have any questions.
I realize that you administer a prison vocational program and that the computers you need to activate don't have internet access or email access. This is not only a very good precaution, it is also the norm for all of our prison vocational program customers.
Therefore, we understand the need for you to activate manually, which requires the exchange of long strings of numbers. Most of our customers who administer prison vocational programs have managed to figure out that copying and pasting the information from the computers, then bringing it to their office computer and sending it by email to us is quite efficient. We respond by email and they have a nice printout of all the codes they need to bring back to the computers.
Apparently you guys are special. At first you decided to activate by SNAIL MAIL. We cooperated and send back the info by snail mail, but that was quite slow for you and you soon saw how impractical it was. Next you started calling us multiple times and we spent lots of time dictating long strings of numbers, then having to wait while you confirm them. This is a time waster for you and for us and I gently pointed out the advantages of using email.
That's when you told me you don't have an email address or any internet access. I believe that you don't have access to email in the prison, but NO email address? At all? Ever?
You confirmed it was the truth. So we continued slogging through doing things the hard way. You see, I figured you woudn't purposely make things more difficult for YOURSELF by lying to me about the email thing.
Then we got to an impasse. You asked for a registration code for a freeware product and I stated we normally only provide that code by email. I was about to let you know I was going to make an exception when two things hit me:
1. You started getting demanding before I could make the offer.
2. I realized that the product you were trying to register is only available BY DOWNLOAD from our web site, which means you got it on the internet which you have stated you can't get to.
I stated that you could email us from the computer where you downloaded the product and we'd be able to help.
Oh, my. You didn't like that one bit, did you? While you were berating me about the no internet/no email (at all, EVER) thing, I took a moment to google your prison on my computer.
Imagine my surprise when I found your name on the web site along with your picture (I think the guy who made your toupee owes you a refund) and your email address.
Now that I know you DO have an email address, I have to come up with a REASON that you would do things the hard way instead of the easy way. My only guess is that you HATE product activation and are trying to passive-agressive your way into not having to deal with copy protection by making US do things the hard way.
All I can say to that is HA! I'm the passive-agressive QUEEN. That will never, EVER work on me.
So we finished all the rest of your activations on this phone call and I made sure to be as nice as possible and took my time to make sure that there weren't any mistakes. I also made sure to mention how much easier and more accurate this would be for YOU if you had access to email off site, but, of course we'd take as long as necessary to make sure everything was right on the phone since this was your ONLY OPTION.
Oh, dear. That ref. code you gave me? Could you repeat it? It didn't work. Thank you. I got two of the numbers transposed. Good thing we caught that. Wait, when you read the 40-digit activation code back to me, the call dropped in the middle. Can you read it again? Thanks. So sorry this is taking so long, but we must be accurate.
Now that we've finished the call, I'm going to be sure to put your email address into every single license record so my co-workers will know you have an email address. I'm also going to follow up by emailing you to tell you that I hope we were able to help you today and to please contact us again if you have any questions.
to CrazyAl.
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