Few More Tales from Textbook Land (If you don't know I write long threads by now...)

[lupo pazzesco]

Just a few of the ones that stood out to me amidst the sea of suck today, I'm far too tired to go into very much detail tonight...I was only scheduled for 7 hour and somehow that turned into a 10 hour shift. Owww....


Aw, lookit all the cute widdle freshmen
Ok, seriously, I realize this is y'all's first year in school and all, and things might be a little scary. But staring at me wide eyed and repeatedly asking me if I'm SURE that you need the 9 books for your HONORS ENGLISH class makes me question why you're in the Honors college in the first place. Especially when the question is then followed with "and do I really have to READ them all?"

I valiantly chose NOT to answer you with the reply that immediately came to mind because, let's face it, I'm just that much of a sweetheart. The fact that I would've been fired immediately had no influence. Whatsoever. Honest!

A few more helpful tips for all you future scholars!!

1. Don't try to haggle me down on the price. Yes, books are expensive. Rather than gasp indignantly and look at me as though I've crushed your humanity, get used to it. It only gets more expensive here on out. Especially for all those science and business majors. $182 is quite normal for a chemistry book package.

2. Don't assume I'm a mind reader. I'm not psychic. I've just worked here for so long, and encountered the same instances of idiocy on a daily basis, I generally cut it off at the pass by pre-emptively asking all of your contarded questions. Granted now and then I'll get an extreme wunderkind in here that will manage to show me new and unexplored depths of stupid, but I generally steer those to the coworkers I don't get along with. Share the joy and all that. And it's fun to watch the look on their faces when they're asked what the difference is between Webster's dictionary and Merriam-Webster's dictionary... (Yeah, that one had me conveniently running to the back room to giggle...)

3. Pay for the books. They're not free. There's no magical money fairy coming in, and no, we don't have layaway. By the time you finished paying them off, it'd be time to sell them back and you'd have never used them. Which, incidentally, brings me to my next point.

4. There is a such thing as depreciation of value, even in textbooks! Just because you spent $300 at the start of the semester, we're unable to give you $300 in buybacks. Value goes down!!! Learn it. Live it. Tolerate it. And don't take it out on me!!

I'm sure the list is longer, but I can't really remember what else is on it...



I really must meet this mythical "they"
because "they" always say something contrary to store policy, which is apparently always utterly correct and must be honored!!

"They" say customers get a discount.
"They" say it's ok to put books on hold for a month.
"They" say the price is different, so we have to ring it up for $50 cheaper.

And yet, despite my myriad attempts to get a definitive description of this elusive "they", those who have had encounters and lived to tell the tale are always vague and unable to tell me of specific features. I suspect this "They" either has Jedi powers to convince the they are not the "They" I'm looking for, or are just utterly nondescript. Either way, my hunt continues, and one day I will track down this "They".

And kick them in the crotch. Repeatedly. With great vigor. And steel toed boots.

<Sigh> It's good to have detailed ambitions. Helps one iron out details in the planning.



Ok, this is a definite WTF moment!!
But it's not something we did!

Bit of background. We are the off campus bookstore, the unofficial one. Now, the official bookstore doesn't particularly like us, and isn't above using shady tactics to try and dissuade customers from coming and seeing us. These tactics have included telling them we dont' sell <University> paraphernalia or books. Only stuff from local Law Schools. Normally, I wouldn't believe such stories, yet this particular untruth was told to a coworker who was browsing in the other store at the time. That said, both of us offer online orders and reservations for books. Now, our sites are completely different, and so are our processing systems and confirmation numbers.

So, I had a young lady come in and say she's here to pick up her reserved books, which she's paid for. She gave the info to one of our new employees, and when he couldn't find her order, brought the pages to me. (oh joy!)

I scan it and inform the customer that there's a mistake, and this is the form for the OTHER store, not us. At which point she goes sulky and claims to already have been over there and they said (Dammit!! There "They" go again! After them, men!!) the order was from US. However there were two items on the order that we aren't licensed to sell. I explained this and received the cat butt face in stereo, both from the customer and the customer's father. Then came the requisite rant of why the other store would lie (because they're run by shit slinging drug snorting baboons...) and say it was our order, when the credit card had been clearly charged.

We had to send the poor girl back to the other store with her father, after listening to them rant at us for fifteen minutes for something that wasn't even our doing. Thank you, Campus Bookstore, for being complete assholes and letting us take the heat for it. We love you, too!! Can't wait for the Christmas gift exchange. I'm baking you some arsenic brownies. Hope you like them!!


I didn't realize there was an alternate definition...
Phone conversation from today

SC: Hi, I was in there a few days ago to purchase my law books, and I had a few questions about the refund policy at the bottom of the receipt.
Me: <Hot damn, a law student who READS there receipt. All hope is NOT lost> Of course, sir, how can I help you today?
SC: Well, I'm a little unclear about what "Original condition" means, exactly. In the line where it says all books must be in original condition for a refund?
Me: <Oh crap. Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Abort, Abort!> Well, sir, that means if you purchased a book from us new, and it was wrapped in plastic, it must still be wrapped in plastic, any other new books must be clean and unmarked, and used books must be in the condition you purchased them in, not worse.
SC: I see...so, if I bought a book new, and jotted a few notes on the first few pages with pen, I couldn't return it as new.
Me: <Crap, I didn't push the abort button soon enough. Spiralling towards failure!> No, sir, I'm afraid not, as it would no longer be considered new.
SC: <With a triumphant tone of voice> Ah, then I could still return for the USED price instead. No big deal, it's only about $20 difference!
Me: <Failure imminent, failure imminent!!> Um, no sir. Since your receipt would show the book purchased as new, and it was no longer in new condition, we would be unable to process a return.
SC: Why not? It's not new, but it IS used now! I can get the used price back! Just consider the $20 a restocking fee.
Me: That's...not exactly how it works, sir...
SC: No, but it's the logical conclusion.
Me: <Failure! Failure! Failure!>No, sir, I'm sorry. The best you could do is bring it in and attempt to do a buyback, and see how much you can get that way. There's really no chance of a refund.
SC: <Insert typical arguments in both the SC language and attempted legalese, hoping to cow me into submission over the phone lines>
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but as our policy clearly states, the book cannot be returned if not in original condition. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
SC: Anything ELSE? You haven't helped me in the first place, twit! Thanks for nothing! <Click>
Me: ... ... ... twit...?

I think the failure light is still flashing on this one....



Thank all that's holy that I have the next two days off...<Sigh> now I need to shower...stupid rain and stupid drivers who splash me! No umbrella in the world does any good against asshole drivers who speed through great big puddles on residential streets just because they think it's fun to play Splash the Pedestrian. I hate that clammy squishy wet feeling of wet denim socks and shoes. Ew. Need to go shower that off...

[Sheldonrs]

I love your book store stories. It brings me back to when I wnet to Rutgers U. and worked at the unofficial book store, that was actually closer to the campus than the school book store. It was a great job with the same students you seem to get.

[lupo pazzesco]

I love your book store stories. It brings me back to when I wnet to Rutgers U. and worked at the unofficial book store, that was actually closer to the campus than the school book store. It was a great job with the same students you seem to get.

Aw, thanks! Yeah, despite all my posts of hellish customers, I do enjoy working at the unofficial bookstore. The official one is kind of...well...hmm, how to put this. Oh, screw it, it's evil and sucky! The few times I was in there, the employees sucked, and once I was run over by a book cart! And if the post office wasn't in there, I'd have never returned!

Despite all the ickiness I post about, it is a fun place to work. My bosses are ok, (Most of the time) I like a majority of the people I work with, and the good customers far outweigh the bad! It's fun to talk to fellow students, hear advice and give advice, especially to the sweet polite incoming freshmen. I had one I talked to for about 20 minutes yesterday because he was confused and kind of nervous. Kind of cute in his worried state about what to do. Doesn't mean the next few weeks are going to suck any less though...

[HawaiianShirts]

SC: Why not? It's not new, but it IS used now! I can get the used price back! Just consider the $20 a restocking fee.
Me: That's...not exactly how it works, sir...
SC: No, but it's the logical conclusion.
Me: <Failure! Failure! Failure!>No, sir, I'm sorry. The best you could do is bring it in and attempt to do a buyback, and see how much you can get that way. There's really no chance of a refund.
SC: <Insert typical arguments in both the SC language and attempted legalese, hoping to cow me into submission over the phone lines>
Me: I'm sorry, sir, but as our policy clearly states, the book cannot be returned if not in original condition. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
SC: Anything ELSE? You haven't helped me in the first place, twit! Thanks for nothing! <Click>

I must admit that, had I not gotten a retail education along with my college education, I might have attempted the same thing. But there's a big difference between telling you that he can return the book as used and what I would do, which would be asking if I could return the book as used.

And I think he took his "logical conclusion" a step to far. For what little I know of philosophy, the logic chain should be: "The return policy requires that books be in original condition to be returned. My book is not in original condition, therefore it cannot be returned." And definitely not: "Therefore, it can be returned for the value of a book that is in the same condition" because there is no such allowance in the premise that started the whole mess.

His parting shot is great, though. I'm surprised no one has said that to me when they call wanting an item and I have to tell them that it is completely sold out. It's not like I haven't given them plenty of opportunity to do so, what with it being back-to-school season and laptop computers being sold through my store with a popularity to rival Nintendo's latest releases.

[depechemodefan]

Ok, seriously, I realize this is y'all's first year in school and all, and things might be a little scary. But staring at me wide eyed and repeatedly asking me if I'm SURE that you need the 9 books for your HONORS ENGLISH class makes me question why you're in the Honors college in the first place. Especially when the question is then followed with "and do I really have to READ them all?"

You know what I used to do when I had a required reading book? Go to the library and see if they had the book. Then check it out. Then not pay for the book and return when it was due. If I still needed it, I would renew it or check it out again. All those plays, short-stories, fiction, biographies I had to read, I got from the library. Though funny enough, I had to read selected chapters for Good-bye to all that, by Robert Graves, but when I went to the library I missed typed it as Good-bye to all of that, so I couldn't find it therefore I bought the book. I actually loved the book, and never sold it back. Unfortunately a tropical storm flooded my house and it was on the floor

Also what I used to do was find out if the prof. was using the same textbooks next semester. If he was, I would show up to his class the first day of the new semester, even though I finished it, and at the end of the class go up to a group of students and offer to sell my book. So for ex., I bought the book for $40, and the book store was going to give back $7, I would wait for the next semester and sell it for $20. Worked every time.

[lupo pazzesco]

I must admit that, had I not gotten a retail education along with my college education, I might have attempted the same thing. But there's a big difference between telling you that he can return the book as used and what I would do, which would be asking if I could return the book as used.

And I think he took his "logical conclusion" a step to far. For what little I know of philosophy, the logic chain should be: "The return policy requires that books be in original condition to be returned. My book is not in original condition, therefore it cannot be returned." And definitely not: "Therefore, it can be returned for the value of a book that is in the same condition" because there is no such allowance in the premise that started the whole mess.

His parting shot is great, though. I'm surprised no one has said that to me when they call wanting an item and I have to tell them that it is completely sold out. It's not like I haven't given them plenty of opportunity to do so, what with it being back-to-school season and laptop computers being sold through my store with a popularity to rival Nintendo's latest releases.

Good points, all of them, but his receipt clearly states the books cannot be returned if they're not in original condition period. We've had way too many scammers attempt to return us books they'd written in, citing that since it was now used, they deserved the used price back, even though they bought new. Problem is, they were stealing other student's books and bringing them back, while keeping their own. (To my knowledge 4 people were arrested. It was like a textbook theft ring on our campus!)

One problem I've found with SC/EW law students are they thing because they're going to be lawyers, we'll automatically assume they know what they're talking about and bow to them because we're just lowly little bookstore employees, who couldn't possibly get into law school if we wanted to. Blegh on them!!

His parting shot amused me more than anything simply because he called me a twit. His tone of voice screamed that I should have felt it was the ultimate insult and curled up under the desk, praying for the end to come soon. I'm glad he'd hung up by that point, because any longer on the phone with him after the comment and I would've laughed at him.

You know what I used to do when I had a required reading book? Go to the library and see if they had the book. Then check it out. Then not pay for the book and return when it was due. If I still needed it, I would renew it or check it out again. All those plays, short-stories, fiction, biographies I had to read, I got from the library.

See, that's the SMART thing to do. If you really can't afford to buy your books, and believe me, I've been there, then go to the library! If nothing else, I KNOW our campus library ALWAYS has at least one copy of the book on reserve for classes. You can check it out for 2 hours, read the chapter you need to read, and return it. In some cases, there are more copies in the general stacks for longer term borrowing. But noooo, instead they come into our store and bitch and whine and moan all over me because I must be the one who decided they needed 9 books for one class arbitrarily, just to squeeze more money out of them.

Also what I used to do was find out if the prof. was using the same textbooks next semester. If he was, I would show up to his class the first day of the new semester, even though I finished it, and at the end of the class go up to a group of students and offer to sell my book. So for ex., I bought the book for $40, and the book store was going to give back $7, I would wait for the next semester and sell it for $20. Worked every time.

\

It usually does, yes. When I'm doing a buyback, and we're close to meeting our need or have already reached it and the buyback price sucks, I'll run a quick search on the book to see if it's being used that semester or the next one. If it is, I'll tell customers they can try going to where the class is being held and offer to sell books to students for cheaper than what they'd get them from us. It's a win/win. And if they can find out who the TA is for the class, even better. I've known some TAs to take info about students selling books for their class and email it to the current students, who are looking for a better deal on books. Meet in the UC, brief exchange, and everyone is happy. Win/win, right?

Unfortunately, it's too much work for some people and I just get evil glares and cursed at for attempting to go the extra mile and help people. I've also gotten flack from one of my bosses for sending a customer out without buying their books back because it supposedly reflects bad on us. However, I think if I can provide them with a solution that really pleases them, they're going to remember that our store does go that extra mile and will come back to do business with us. It's worked out fairly well for me so far, there are several regular customers who always come in because I've helped them in the past. And that makes me feel good. and herein ends my rambling...

[GingerBiscuit]

Twit is English. It's a generic phrase for someone behaving stupidly, however it's usually quite a minor insult. Low-grade incompetence that doesn't really hurt anyone but is just irritating.

[depechemodefan]

It usually does, yes. When I'm doing a buyback, and we're close to meeting our need or have already reached it and the buyback price sucks, I'll run a quick search on the book to see if it's being used that semester or the next one. If it is, I'll tell customers they can try going to where the class is being held and offer to sell books to students for cheaper than what they'd get them from us. It's a win/win. And if they can find out who the TA is for the class, even better. I've known some TAs to take info about students selling books for their class and email it to the current students, who are looking for a better deal on books. Meet in the UC, brief exchange, and everyone is happy. Win/win, right?

Unfortunately, it's too much work for some people and I just get evil glares and cursed at for attempting to go the extra mile and help people. I've also gotten flack from one of my bosses for sending a customer out without buying their books back because it supposedly reflects bad on us. However, I think if I can provide them with a solution that really pleases them, they're going to remember that our store does go that extra mile and will come back to do business with us. It's worked out fairly well for me so far, there are several regular customers who always come in because I've helped them in the past. And that makes me feel good. and herein ends my rambling...

One thing I wanted to do was in my college get people to become a collective, and instead of selling our books to the bookstore for buyback, sell them to the students themselves for the next semester. Thing I was afraid about was it might not be legal, like the bookstore has a contract with the school not to have people do that.

[Balgram]

depechemodefan, I don't know about your university, but ours actually encourages it. It's the Book Exchange, and they offer it all the time. You post your books online, and students can cross-reference your book info (name, edition, author, the big 'ol number thing) and check to see if it's the one they need for their class. You can name your price (higher than the sellback, cheaper than used is recommended) and people will arrange to meet with you and get your book.

It's a fantastic system. I like getting my books that way. You can't sell them back to the bookstore at the end of the year, but you may be able to sell them to other students.

No luck? New book. You just updated your library.

[depechemodefan]

I graduated from college in 1996. I remembered how primative our school email accounts were.

[South Texan]

SC: <With a triumphant tone of voice> Ah, then I could still return for the USED price instead. No big deal, it's only about $20 difference!

Believe it or not, the guy actually is thinking like an attorney. There is a great deal of logic to what he is proposing:
1) the book is in a used condition;
2) the store sells the book in a used condition;
3) he can show he bought the book from the store;
therefore,
4) the store should accept the return of the book and refund the used condition price.

People pay the big bucks to attorneys to come up with arguments like that one that seem perfectly logical.

What this guy is up against, however, is the store's rule (law) that it only accepts the return of the book in the condition it was sold - regardless of how many logical alternatives are proposed. Sometimes good, logical arguments cannot overcome the absolute conditions of a some laws. That is something law students quickly learn.

One problem I've found with SC/EW law students are they thing because they're going to be lawyers, we'll automatically assume they know what they're talking about and bow to them because we're just lowly little bookstore employees, who couldn't possibly get into law school if we wanted to. Blegh on them!!

Too true. Sadly, some of them never shed that attitude even after they are licensed. I have found, though, that those who keep the attitude often are the type that do not believe in themselves and are hoping to hide behind their profession's status to look important and powerful. These types freak whenever anyone stands up to them and/or calls their bluster (hence the "twit" remark).

[Mamadrae]

Twit is English. It's a generic phrase for someone behaving stupidly, however it's usually quite a minor insult. Low-grade incompetence that doesn't really hurt anyone but is just irritating.

Ah the mightly Twit. I've been using this word alot now since my 2 year old started repeating things. My husband and I are just grateful that he hasn't picked up anything bad yet. I still have mild nightmares of the day he goes off to school and the teacher goes "What do cows say?" I can just see him going "Eat moonfire spam mother f***er!"

That parent/teacher conference will be fun....

[lupo pazzesco]

Ah the mightly Twit. I've been using this word alot now since my 2 year old started repeating things. My husband and I are just grateful that he hasn't picked up anything bad yet. I still have mild nightmares of the day he goes off to school and the teacher goes "What do cows say?" I can just see him going "Eat moonfire spam mother f***er!"

That parent/teacher conference will be fun....

Oh, I can't wait until my best friend's child starts school. He's 3, and in the repeating things stage, too.

Unfortunately Daddy has a potty mouth he tries to control because, when we were visiting her family last month, he decided to show off his new vocabulary when grandma told him to finish eating his dinner by responding with.

"oooohhhhh, f**k..."

Grandma and grandpa's face were priceless. his uncle just laughed and my friend sighed, and said she was trying to get him to stop it, but when told that was a bad word, he looks at her questioningly and goes "Shit?"

[Mamadrae]

Oh, I can't wait until my best friend's child starts school. He's 3, and in the repeating things stage, too.

Unfortunately Daddy has a potty mouth he tries to control because, when we were visiting her family last month, he decided to show off his new vocabulary when grandma told him to finish eating his dinner by responding with.

"oooohhhhh, f**k..."

Grandma and grandpa's face were priceless. his uncle just laughed and my friend sighed, and said she was trying to get him to stop it, but when told that was a bad word, he looks at her questioningly and goes "Shit?"

Yeah while his Grannie would take soap to his mouth Grandpa would be cackling.
I walked in one time to my Father in law watching TV with my son and the cartoon was doing B words. Grandpa was going "Boobs. Say Boobs Buddy!"

I kinda gave him the flat momma stare and went "If you never do that again I won't tell your wife."

[lupo pazzesco]

I kinda gave him the flat momma stare and went "If you never do that again I won't tell your wife."

Oooh, I know that stare!! While on the road trip, I kept trying to teach friends son to say "are we there yet?"

At one pit stop she pulled me aside and said if he started repeating that, then she'd dump me on the side of the road and let me hitch home, after putting out on the CB that there was a lost curvy redhead stuck in the middle of nowhere, needing a lift back to Texas...