These calls are all from Friday or this morning.
Me:
Answers phones for a Multiple List Service (MLS)
SC: Real Estate Realtor (all different except for 1 repeat idiot)
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I need help!"
Me: "Ok... how can I help you?"
SC: "..."
SC: "..."
SC: "I need help!"
Yes, I can see that. *sigh*
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Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "You sound cute... wanna go out?"
Me: "No."
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Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I can't log in... it told me to contact my board."
Me: "You'll need to contact your board then."
SC: "But it told me to contact my board... that's you!"
Me: "We're your MLS, not the board. Let me give you the number."
SC: "But it told me to contact my board!"
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Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I didn't pay my bill and now I'm cut off OMGWTFBBQ!"
SC: "And I never received anything telling me that I had a bill!"
Me: (checks agent's account) "I see what we sent you 4 notifications telling you that you had an invoice ready for payment at the beginning of June, 7 notifications toward the end of June letting you know that you still had a payment due, and 10 notifications in the beginning on July showing that you had a past due bill. And you deleted them, which means that you had to click the delete button next to each one. AND we sent you an email. AND a paper bill to the office."
SC: "Oh."
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Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I called earlier and you didn't want to go out with me... can you tell me what you look like?"
Me: "No."
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Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I didn't pay my bill and it won't let me log in."
Me: (explains how to pay online) "And the service will be reactivated within 2 hours."
SC: "But I need to get in now! You have to turn it on! I NEED it!"
You're been turned off for over a month already... and you just noticed. And you need it NOW? Maybe you should have paid the bill (due on June 30th) before we cut up off on July 11th?
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Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I can't figure out how to turn on my computer!"
Me:
SC: Are you guys hiring?
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Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I put in a price wrong on a listing and changed it and now it shows as CHGP (Change Price) instead of NEW. I need you to fix that for me."
ME: "Ok, just send over a copy of the contract that shows the correct price and I'll change that back to a NEW status."
SC: "I don't have a contract."
Me: "You don't have a contract? Do you have anything signed by the seller stating what they want you to list the price as?"
SC: "No."
Me: "Then I can't fix it for you."
----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "Well.... I figured it out. But now I have another question."
Me: "Ok..."
SC: "Are you single?"
Me:
Me:

SC: Real Estate Realtor (all different except for 1 repeat idiot)
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I need help!"
Me: "Ok... how can I help you?"
SC: "..."
SC: "..."
SC: "I need help!"
Yes, I can see that. *sigh*
----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "You sound cute... wanna go out?"
Me: "No."
----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I can't log in... it told me to contact my board."
Me: "You'll need to contact your board then."
SC: "But it told me to contact my board... that's you!"
Me: "We're your MLS, not the board. Let me give you the number."
SC: "But it told me to contact my board!"
----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I didn't pay my bill and now I'm cut off OMGWTFBBQ!"
SC: "And I never received anything telling me that I had a bill!"
Me: (checks agent's account) "I see what we sent you 4 notifications telling you that you had an invoice ready for payment at the beginning of June, 7 notifications toward the end of June letting you know that you still had a payment due, and 10 notifications in the beginning on July showing that you had a past due bill. And you deleted them, which means that you had to click the delete button next to each one. AND we sent you an email. AND a paper bill to the office."
SC: "Oh."
----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I called earlier and you didn't want to go out with me... can you tell me what you look like?"
Me: "No."

----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I didn't pay my bill and it won't let me log in."
Me: (explains how to pay online) "And the service will be reactivated within 2 hours."
SC: "But I need to get in now! You have to turn it on! I NEED it!"
You're been turned off for over a month already... and you just noticed. And you need it NOW? Maybe you should have paid the bill (due on June 30th) before we cut up off on July 11th?
----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I can't figure out how to turn on my computer!"
Me:

SC: Are you guys hiring?
----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I put in a price wrong on a listing and changed it and now it shows as CHGP (Change Price) instead of NEW. I need you to fix that for me."
ME: "Ok, just send over a copy of the contract that shows the correct price and I'll change that back to a NEW status."
SC: "I don't have a contract."
Me: "You don't have a contract? Do you have anything signed by the seller stating what they want you to list the price as?"
SC: "No."
Me: "Then I can't fix it for you."

----------
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "Well.... I figured it out. But now I have another question."
Me: "Ok..."
SC: "Are you single?"
Me:

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