Uncle Khiras is getting upset...

[KhirasHY]

This has just been one hell of a night...I had one post yesterday, all of this has happened in one farking night.

Some background, in Colorado, the biggest College Football game of the year is CU vs CSU (Colorado/Colorado State). They did it at Invesco Field, which means that all those people were in my lap tonight, for the second year in a row.

Our rate tonight, thanks to the fucking holiday, was $99. This is $100-150 lower than usual.

I had 2 call offs on my staff, who were so worn out after the DNC, that we're just gasping for air right now, so I was left with 3 on during what I knew would be a hellish holiday weekend night. Shit. Let's begin!!!

Noise complaint

To the insufferable bitch sitting in the hallway late at night, babbling on your cell phone like an idiot, here's a news flash: PEOPLE ACTUALLY SLEEP IN HOTELS! Go into your damn room, tell your stupid friends to shut up as well, and smother yourself with a pillow until the general IQ in the world rises slightly from your absence. No, I don't care who you're talking to, doing it loudly in the hallway at this time of night is an asshat move no matter what you're talking about, or who you're talking to.

Noise complaint

SC: Are we being loud?
Me: *Notes the music vibrating the walls, the fact that people are screaming to be heard* Would you like to take a few seconds to think about that question?

What are you guys partying for? Your team lost, dipshit...any professional drinker (which you people are turning me into) knows that the fans of the losing team are supposed to be at the bar crying into their drinks. The winning team fans party. Either way though, I want to stab you and your friends with an ice pick.

Oh, and yes, you're being loud.

Second year in a row...

Thinking back, this same thing happened last year, I'm wondering if it's even the same jackass behind it. See, once again, someone has decided that a fire extinguisher is the ultimate toy! They sprayed some people and elevators, and a couple floors with it! Miraculously, it somehow didn't set off the fire alarms this time, but we can't prove who did it. However, that leads into the next topic...

You don't have to leave here alive, kiddo

We run into this shithead in the lobby, and he's covered with fire extinguisher stuff...but only on his front (none on the back...if he was sprayed, some would be all over as a result). In short, I know he sprayed the crap everywhere, but I can't prove it. However, I almost got the second place prize...since he was so drunk, he tried to pick a fight with me, and 4 of my people. All I really wanted to do was drag him somewhere off camera and spend some quality time with him, but his friends were nearby trying to get him to shut up and stop writing checks his ass couldn't cash. Too bad he listened...that would've improved my mood quite a bit.

Noise complaint!?

Ok folks, I understand it's a hotel, but why do people complain when a baby starts crying next door? Yeah, it's annoying, yeah, it's keeping you awake, but what do you expect me to do? I can't just shut the baby up, it's a baby. They cry. Sadly, whining to me 3 times will not change the situation that there's a newborn in existence, if you don't like it, get a vasectomy and some earplugs you prick.

Noise complaint x2

I visited you guys earlier...remember? The last time you had your music vibrating the walls? Why would you turn it back up, fuckwits!?

I was so tired, I couldn't even be polite any more. Our entire conversation more or less went like this.

SC: What's up?
Me: Party's over guys, it's 4am, we've been up here once before. Anyone who's not staying in here goes, now. You can keep 1-2 people here with you, everyone else, out.
SC: But we paid for this room tonight.
Me: So did your neighbors, and when you paid, you agreed to abide by the hotel's rules. This discussion has already ended, you have two options. Option A is your mates leave and the party's over. Option B is we clear out the entire room, including you, and the party's over. Either way, the party's over. Which option are we going with?
SC: Is that really the way you think it is?
Me: Not think, know. I know that's the way it is. Your call, can send them packing, or we can do it for you.

They chose Option A, unfortunately. Too bad, I wanted to kick them out too...

Why are you back here?

I go walking through the lobby with an engineer, and we see someone at the bar, talking to someone we can't see. Lo and behold, we walk over, and there's some dumbass girl laying down trying to hide from us.

Me: Hi! Let's go.

Walked them out, told them never to come back, and watched them cry outside until a taxi picked up the sleeping wonder later on. Funny thing is, the 2nd one came back later and someone offered to take her up to her room...I didn't even stop it. It's kinda funny watching a college student turn into a prostitute at a moment's notice. Stay classy!

Bonk

Two girls came in practically carrying their drunk-ass friend through the lobby. He was walking (on sunshiiine, whooooo-oa-oa...er...sorry) just barely, but the look on his face was great, sort of a closed eyes, smiling, "dude, the snozzberries taste like snozzberries" look. They propped him near a pillar though, not realizing that drunk people don't prop so well...and I have to admit, I couldn't stop myself from laughing. See, the pillar was this big, metal, round one on the drive, but it's hollow inside the metal until the concrete, so there was a FANTASTIC "BONK" when his head suddenly hit the pillar.

He was ok (or he was beyond pain, one or the other), so it's ok to laugh, right?

How much do you bench press?

How much do you want me to hurt you? Seriously, when you're asking me what bars are good around here, the instant segway into bench pressing instantly darkens my mood, since I automatically assume you're not hitting on me (which would be flattering), and you're just being a fuckhead (which is just annoying).

Alcohol

College is the bane of my existence in a hotel, mainly because everyone has this sense of entitlement of "well I bought it, so the rules don't apply to me!" See, Colorado has this neat thing called Liquor Laws. Our hotel serves liquor, we have 2 bars, a restaurant, and room service that do it, which means we have to follow those laws. Which means no, I'm not joking when I tell you that the 4 cases of beer you're carting through the lobby in plain sight cannot enter the hotel. It also means that I don't care how much you paid for your room, I'm not going to let us lose our liquor license, or get us a huge ass fine and get fired either way. You're free to try drinking it outside, but that's illegal here too, so don't complain to me when you get ticketed, and the police throw away all of your cheap ass alcohol.

Oh, and one final note: the answer to this is never to say, "But it's legal in Las Vegas! If you haven't noticed, Colorado doesn't even BORDER Nevada, so how much do you really care about the laws in Las Fucking Vegas?

I'm a valuable client here! Noise complaint x2

SC: Do you know how much money I paid for this room tonight!? I'm one of the top-dollar clients in this hotel, how dare you treat me like some vagrant off the street?
Me: *Glances at their room info...I bring it along sometimes * It appears you paid $95 plus tax for about $105 tonight. Whereas your neighbors paid over $300 for theirs.
SC: *Glares*
Me: Was there anything else, or are we going to be quiet for the rest of the night?
SC: I want a refund for my room because of this treatment.
Me: You're welcome to contact the front desk in the morning. Good night.

By the way, we DO tell them who our problem rooms are. Guess what, they don't give discounts for being a jackass, especially when you cost us over $600 in comped rooms for your neighbors in suites.

I think that's it so far...I'll edit things in later if I remember them. It's been one hell of a night to get that much since yesterday...

[Bright_Star]

Certain people act is if when they go to a hotel that all bets are off & they can act any way they want & don't care who complains & when their actions are questioned then they have the nerve to throw the "I paid X amount of $ to stay here" card.
The very same people who act like morons at hotels are the very same ones who act up in stores & shit all over the floor & other assorted nasty stuff.
Where do these people come from anyway? You have to wonder how they act act home.

[KhirasHY]

Certain people act is if when they go to a hotel that all bets are off & they can act any way they want & don't care who complains & when their actions are questioned then they have the nerve to throw the "I paid X amount of $ to stay here" card.
The very same people who act like morons at hotels are the very same ones who act up in stores & shit all over the floor & other assorted nasty stuff.
Where do these people come from anyway? You have to wonder how they act act home.

Sometimes, I sit at work and wonder if I would enjoy working at a morgue. In a very real way, it's like ultimate vengeance...I can just look at each person, and wonder if they earned it...

Does that mean I'm creepy? You don't think I'm creepy, do you? DO YOU!?!?

[Peppergirl]

SC: Is that really the way you think it is?
Me: Not think, know. I know that's the way it is. Your call, can send them packing, or we can do it for you.

I really, REALLY have to give you props here, Khiras. That line literally made me cringe. I don't think I could have controlled myself, seriously.

I know the mods are anti-violence, so I won't elaborate. Suffice it to say that if it had been me, the awesome police in your juristiction would have been arresting an EMPLOYEE rather than the SC.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Certain people act is if when they go to a hotel that all bets are off & they can act any way they want & don't care who complains & when their actions are questioned then they have the nerve to throw the "I paid X amount of $ to stay here" card.
The very same people who act like morons at hotels are the very same ones who act up in stores & shit all over the floor & other assorted nasty stuff.

A lot of people consider renting anything whether it be a room, vacation house, car, cable box or anything else, to be their property for as long as they rent it. Which of course, to them, means they can abuse it, destroy it or cause commotion with it without repercussion.

I, personally find such people hilarious, especially if they are over the age of 25. Because by that time, you think they'd have figured out that the world simply does not work that way. Yet they always seem so surprised when they get the smackdown!

[Fro]

Sometimes, I sit at work and wonder if I would enjoy working at a morgue. In a very real way, it's like ultimate vengeance...I can just look at each person, and wonder if they earned it...

Does that mean I'm creepy? You don't think I'm creepy, do you? DO YOU!?!?

Then I must be serial killer-creepy, becuase that's one of the reasons I want become a medical examiner over being a doctor; dead people don't bitch.

Whatever happened to just sleeping at hotels? Isn't that what you paid for?

[smileyeagle1021]

Oh, and one final note: the answer to this is never to say, "But it's legal in Las Vegas! If you haven't noticed, Colorado doesn't even BORDER Nevada, so how much do you really care about the laws in Las Fucking Vegas?

hell, even the states that border Nevada don't really care about the laws in Las Vegas...

[Jay 2K Winger]

I recently stayed the night in a hotel in MD when I went to Otakon a few weeks ago. After reading Khiras' War Story, and several other hotel-related stories from the board, I resolved to be as nice as possible to the staff there. And I was. Didn't leave a mess for them (put all my trash in the bins), although the bedsheets and blankets and all were all heaped to one side of the bed. (It was pretty warm in that room, even after turning the A/C down as far as it could go.)

Checked out on time, too, and didn't raise a stink about anything. I'm going to keep the CS stories in mind whenever I stop at a hotel from now on.

[bainsidhe]

So when these idiots demand to be comped, you should tell them sure, as long as they pay for the other rooms you had to comp because they were assholes. That'll be $600.00 now please

[Legal Eagle]

Just out of interest, how strictly do you enforce the liquor laws? Because whn i stay in hotels i nearly always buy a bottle of vodka from an outsde shop along with a bottle of coke and keep them in my room. Even with housekeeping staff, etc nobody has ever mentioned it being against policy/law etc. Is it one of those things where you just use it to head off the dicks at the pass?

[KhirasHY]

We're pretty strict on the liquor laws...those fines are a bitch for any company. The way I see it, some people are smart...ie, I'm not a cop, I can't search your bags, so if you're here for your anniversary and you have a bottle of champagne in your suitcase, I'm not going to go digging looking for it. Hell, if you're nice, and you're here for an anniversary, I might even just send you a bottle if I'm in a good mood!

Generally, the people we stop are not smart about it...ie, I stopped a group of 3 guys who had (in their hands and tucked under their arms) 7 12-packs of beer and 3 bottles of whiskey. Uh...no. Just no.

So basically, out of sight, out of mind, we're not going to bust people for things we can't see, but if people show it in plain sight, I don't have much choice.