Dead idjet,
Look Dr. Importance, I don't give a flying hoot how long you've been waiting on hold for or the reasons why you need to get off the phone, the point of the matter is that I hold the power and I *HAVE* to follow procedures so shut and fuck it. You're NOT the only person on the phone waiting to be picked up, so I don't give a damn if you're a doctor, a professor, a shaman or a mother in labor -- FIRST COME FIRST SERVE, DEAL WITH IT! Your emphasizing the fact your an MD means diddly squat to me.
I don't answer nicely to people ignoring me and barking me orders to transfer them to so and so department, especially when, if you had just bothered to take a fucking minute to just LISTEN, you would have dialed into the right department. When your call beeps into my system, there is a procedure I must follow and YES that procedure requires me to ask for your name, address and e-mail to make sure that 1) I am in the correct account, 2) you're not Joe Shmoe passing yourself off as Dr. Importance. I'm sure when a patient comes into your office there is a procedure set in place to make sure the person getting treated is who they say they are and you're not treating the poor soul with iodine when he's allergic to shellfish.
Don't bark at me, Mr. I-have-gone-to-graduate-school-and-my-tuition-was-more-than-what-you-make-a-year-and-I-now-make-more-than-what-you-will-make-ever. It will only make me slow down to piss you off and believe you me, I am enjoying the fact that I have to make your all important ass 'waste his precious time' even if it means I have to deal with your important ass longer than I would like. Its a double edged sword, asshole, and I'm glad to fuck myself up with it.
If you cannot wait five minutes on hold and then answer three questions, then YOU SHOULD NOT BE ON THE FUCKING PHONE!
And although I am one sadistic fuck and like to 'waste' your time because you treat me like scum on your shoe, I have NO desire to lie to you and tell you there is no direct telephone number for the *COLLECTIONS* department unless you're in foreclosure. You can't even pay the deed to your piddly little fucking contract so don't come to me with airs about how much you fucking pay a month because records show you HAVE NOT and CANNOT pay your piddly fees.
You want to talk to in-house collections without talking to someone like me, then *SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO THE MENU!*
- Demise
Look Dr. Importance, I don't give a flying hoot how long you've been waiting on hold for or the reasons why you need to get off the phone, the point of the matter is that I hold the power and I *HAVE* to follow procedures so shut and fuck it. You're NOT the only person on the phone waiting to be picked up, so I don't give a damn if you're a doctor, a professor, a shaman or a mother in labor -- FIRST COME FIRST SERVE, DEAL WITH IT! Your emphasizing the fact your an MD means diddly squat to me.
I don't answer nicely to people ignoring me and barking me orders to transfer them to so and so department, especially when, if you had just bothered to take a fucking minute to just LISTEN, you would have dialed into the right department. When your call beeps into my system, there is a procedure I must follow and YES that procedure requires me to ask for your name, address and e-mail to make sure that 1) I am in the correct account, 2) you're not Joe Shmoe passing yourself off as Dr. Importance. I'm sure when a patient comes into your office there is a procedure set in place to make sure the person getting treated is who they say they are and you're not treating the poor soul with iodine when he's allergic to shellfish.
Don't bark at me, Mr. I-have-gone-to-graduate-school-and-my-tuition-was-more-than-what-you-make-a-year-and-I-now-make-more-than-what-you-will-make-ever. It will only make me slow down to piss you off and believe you me, I am enjoying the fact that I have to make your all important ass 'waste his precious time' even if it means I have to deal with your important ass longer than I would like. Its a double edged sword, asshole, and I'm glad to fuck myself up with it.
If you cannot wait five minutes on hold and then answer three questions, then YOU SHOULD NOT BE ON THE FUCKING PHONE!
And although I am one sadistic fuck and like to 'waste' your time because you treat me like scum on your shoe, I have NO desire to lie to you and tell you there is no direct telephone number for the *COLLECTIONS* department unless you're in foreclosure. You can't even pay the deed to your piddly little fucking contract so don't come to me with airs about how much you fucking pay a month because records show you HAVE NOT and CANNOT pay your piddly fees.
You want to talk to in-house collections without talking to someone like me, then *SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO THE MENU!*
- Demise
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