Ok, I decided to wait to post about more textbook tales until my day off. Herein follow the tales from my last two days at work. So glad I have today and tomorrow off. Seriously. More bitching about returns abounds, mostly, but a few other amusing moments. Without further ado, diving right in with Wednesday’s and Thursday’s shenanigans. Oh, and some language warnings, by the way.
I’m telling my mommy on you!!
SC wants to return books. SC purchased books on mommy’s credit card and didn’t have it with her. Thus, no refund, since it has to go back on the card. She claims I have to give her cash because her mommy said so and threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the store. She was seriously close to falling on the floor and screaming, I swear. I tell her sorry, rules is rules, and if she sends her mommy after me like she’s threatening, I’ll tell her the same thing too.
Brat…
But…you HAVE to do it, it’s YOUR fault.
Honestly, still trying to figure this one out…
Guy comes in, wanting a refund, but it’s past the refund date. I explain this to him, and he claims that no one told him this, so we have to give him a refund. Now, he bought his books online, and he showed me all his slips which had no refund date. Ok, cool, I can kind of see where he’s coming from. But then I noticed he had opted for customer pick up. I asked if he came in personally, or if he sent someone in to do it for him. He said he had, and I told him that we had signs everywhere about the refund deadline, AND that it was posted on bright orange paper on the textbook counter where he had picked up his books. Also, as the person who packed a majority of the web ordered books, I know I stapled a note to every bag stating they had until the 1st to bring books back for a refund.
He then exploded saying that since I was claiming responsibility for packing orders, it is then MY fault he didn’t know about the refund date, since I didn’t PERSONALLY tell him. As a result, I HAD to give him a refund on his book.
Er…sure, I’ll get right on that. And while I’m at it, how far up your ass did you want my boot…? Passed him off to MOD K, and watched sparks fly. Was lotsa fun for me, and he left without a refund. Haha!!
There’s a reason I ask for ID…
Had a guy come up to buy his books and handed me a credit card. Now, mind you he’s big, burly, kinda hairy, very much a male. The card he gave me had Susan Something written on it. (Am I the only one who’s got “boy Named Sue” stuck in her head already?) I always ask for ID, but in this case, I definitely wanted ID. And cue the following conversation.
SC: Whatcha need ID for?
Me: …sir, this card says Susan Something.
SC: ‘s my mom’s card.
Me: Well, then I’ll need to see your ID to verify your last name matches hers.
SC: Well, not really my mom’s. My stepmom’s. Our last names are different.
Me: (Well gee, how convenient...) Then I’m going to need either her to come in and buy your books, or I’ll need a copy of the front and back of her card, a copy of her ID, and a signed statement saying you’re authorized to use this card to purchase your books.
SC: That’s bullshit! Gimme mah books!
Me: I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t sell you these books with this credit card.
SC: Fine! Gimme the card!
(By this point, our cop is coming over, drawn by the ruckus)
Cop: Actually, give ME the card.
SC: Why?!
Cop: Because I don’t like the way you’re treating the employee.
SC: What?!
Cop: Seriously? You’re refusing to produce ID or any verification you’re allowed to use this card. I have to presume it’s stolen. Have your mom or stepmom or aunt or whatever call me at this number (Gives the SC his card) to arrange to come by and pick it up so I can check her ID and make sure you’re not committing a crime.
Me: (trying really really hard not to laugh)
SC: Fuck you, man! Gimme my card or I’ll kick your ass!
Me: (Did he just threaten him?!)
Cop: Did you just threaten me, son?
SC: Uh, no! Nevermind man, you’ll be hearing from us! We’ll sue! (And he flees…)
So far, no word on the credit card holder, yet. Cop says he’s gonna follow up on it, see if it really is stolen. I mean, unless he’s a post op guy or has a hormone disorder, I’m not gonna believe his name is Susan! I’m not that dumb!!
I’ll have your job!
I need to pause at this point and say Thursday was a really bad day for me. Had a dr’s visit, and was told I have to go in for a cancer screening next week, so I wasn’t exactly cheerful during work. As a result I was overly snarky and had a bad attitude. I admit it. Probably shouldn’t have said some of what I said, but I did. Anyhoo, moving on.
Guy comes in to buy books, and has his father’s check. Newbie cashier asks me if he can take the check with the guy’s school ID. I told him no dice, we needed his dad’s driver’s license number, DOB, and phone number on the check. Guy then decides he wants to argue with me.
SC: Look, my dad’s at work, and he gave me a check. I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed my books today. Why can’t I do this?
Me: I’m sorry, sir, but without your father’s ID information, we can’t run the check through our system. It requires that information.
SC: I’ve been coming here for 4 years and you’ve always done it this way!!
Me: Sir, I’ve been working here for 3 and a half years and we’ve NEVER done it this way. Our computers won’t let us. Now, you can get us the ID information, or you can have your dad buy your books online and opt for customer pick up. But we cannot take that check without the information required.
SC: We’ll see about that! What’s your corporate number!? I’ll have your job for this!!
I gave him the number, and watched him leave. The poor newbie cashier is looking at me like I had just kicked a puppy and said he was surprised I did that. I shrugged, then went and found MOD K, and our DM, B, who was visiting the store. I explained what happened, apologized for being snappy, and said I’d accept the write up if there was one, because I knew I was over the line with what I said.
Still waiting to see what happens on this one.
The infamous “They” strike again! Or “I shouldn’t have to read my receipt!”
SC comes in for a refund. I read her receipt and tell her that according to it, her refund deadline was September 1st. As it was the 4th, there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
SC: What? I was told the fifth!!
Me: I apologize if there was a miscommunication, ma’am, but the receipt clearly states the first.
SC: I didn’t read my receipt! They told me the fifth! I trusted them, so I didn’t read the receipt!
Me: (And I’m to blame because you’re a flaming, illiterate baboon because….?) I’m sorry, ma’am, there’s nothing I can do for you.
SC: Fine! (She snatches her bags off the counter, looking royally pissed off) NEXT TIME I come in here, you had BETTER have trained your employees to give customers the TRUTH!
Me: (Smiles sweetly) Well, with all due respect, ma’am, you may have misheard. That’s why we put the policy on the receipt as an added precaution.
SC: You C**T!!!
Cop: (has once again wandered over) That’s it, you’re gone! Bye now!
SC: (Storms to the door, and turns around to scream at me one last time) RUDE C**T!!
Me:
I have been branded for life…
SC: Hey, remember me? I played Plinko with you! I need a refund now…
Me:
(I’m actually trying to FORGET that week of my life) Yes, sir, may I see your receipt, please?
SC: Sure. So glad I have until today to do it..
Me:
(Looking at his receipt) Um…sir…I can’t give you a refund.
SC: But why? I played Plinko!!
Me: (You and 17000 other people, pal…) Because our refund date was actually September 1st.
SC: (Waves receipt in my face) This says I have until today.
Me: …
SC: …
Me: (Sigh) Sir, that receipt is from Other Bookstore…not us. I can’t help you.
SC: See if I play your stupid games again!! (Storms out)
Me: You promise…?
I’ll have your job, part deux!!
Customer wants to special order a book. I ring it up but the price on my screen is different than the price on his order slip, so I ask him to wait and I’ll go check on it. Turns out there was a glitch and the used price was written down for a book that only comes new, as in, it comes shrink wrapped new every semester. I go back and apologize and tell him it is at the new price. Cue the suck.
SC: So, it rings up at $86.50. What’s MY price?
Me: ……..$86.50…?
SC: No, what’s my discount for YOUR error and MY inconvenience?
Me: Sir, I can’t give you a discount. I caught the error and went to check on it.
SC: But I was still inconvenienced! You took up 10 minutes of my time!!
Me: Sir, with all due respect, I was gone for less than a minute…
SC: I still deserve a discount.
Me: And I can’t give you one. Now, would you like to prepay for this book?
SC: No! I’ll be here next week when the order comes in and I’ll get my USED copy.
Me: Good luck with that, sir, they only come new. It’s a custom edition put out every semester.
SC: I want to speak to your manager! You’re beyond rude! I’ll have your job!
Me: You want my job? Take it! You wouldn’t last a day! (I go and find MOD K, who talks to the guy. He does tell him tough shit on the price/discount thing, but I did get a verbal reprimand for the way I responded. No write up though, thank gods!)
Aaaaand, that’s all I can remember right now. At least the big ones. Now that my fingers are gonna fall off, I’ve got errands to run. Buh bye all you happy peoples!
I’m telling my mommy on you!!
SC wants to return books. SC purchased books on mommy’s credit card and didn’t have it with her. Thus, no refund, since it has to go back on the card. She claims I have to give her cash because her mommy said so and threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the store. She was seriously close to falling on the floor and screaming, I swear. I tell her sorry, rules is rules, and if she sends her mommy after me like she’s threatening, I’ll tell her the same thing too.
Brat…
But…you HAVE to do it, it’s YOUR fault.
Honestly, still trying to figure this one out…
Guy comes in, wanting a refund, but it’s past the refund date. I explain this to him, and he claims that no one told him this, so we have to give him a refund. Now, he bought his books online, and he showed me all his slips which had no refund date. Ok, cool, I can kind of see where he’s coming from. But then I noticed he had opted for customer pick up. I asked if he came in personally, or if he sent someone in to do it for him. He said he had, and I told him that we had signs everywhere about the refund deadline, AND that it was posted on bright orange paper on the textbook counter where he had picked up his books. Also, as the person who packed a majority of the web ordered books, I know I stapled a note to every bag stating they had until the 1st to bring books back for a refund.
He then exploded saying that since I was claiming responsibility for packing orders, it is then MY fault he didn’t know about the refund date, since I didn’t PERSONALLY tell him. As a result, I HAD to give him a refund on his book.
Er…sure, I’ll get right on that. And while I’m at it, how far up your ass did you want my boot…? Passed him off to MOD K, and watched sparks fly. Was lotsa fun for me, and he left without a refund. Haha!!
There’s a reason I ask for ID…
Had a guy come up to buy his books and handed me a credit card. Now, mind you he’s big, burly, kinda hairy, very much a male. The card he gave me had Susan Something written on it. (Am I the only one who’s got “boy Named Sue” stuck in her head already?) I always ask for ID, but in this case, I definitely wanted ID. And cue the following conversation.
SC: Whatcha need ID for?
Me: …sir, this card says Susan Something.
SC: ‘s my mom’s card.
Me: Well, then I’ll need to see your ID to verify your last name matches hers.
SC: Well, not really my mom’s. My stepmom’s. Our last names are different.
Me: (Well gee, how convenient...) Then I’m going to need either her to come in and buy your books, or I’ll need a copy of the front and back of her card, a copy of her ID, and a signed statement saying you’re authorized to use this card to purchase your books.
SC: That’s bullshit! Gimme mah books!
Me: I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t sell you these books with this credit card.
SC: Fine! Gimme the card!
(By this point, our cop is coming over, drawn by the ruckus)
Cop: Actually, give ME the card.
SC: Why?!
Cop: Because I don’t like the way you’re treating the employee.
SC: What?!
Cop: Seriously? You’re refusing to produce ID or any verification you’re allowed to use this card. I have to presume it’s stolen. Have your mom or stepmom or aunt or whatever call me at this number (Gives the SC his card) to arrange to come by and pick it up so I can check her ID and make sure you’re not committing a crime.
Me: (trying really really hard not to laugh)
SC: Fuck you, man! Gimme my card or I’ll kick your ass!
Me: (Did he just threaten him?!)
Cop: Did you just threaten me, son?
SC: Uh, no! Nevermind man, you’ll be hearing from us! We’ll sue! (And he flees…)
So far, no word on the credit card holder, yet. Cop says he’s gonna follow up on it, see if it really is stolen. I mean, unless he’s a post op guy or has a hormone disorder, I’m not gonna believe his name is Susan! I’m not that dumb!!
I’ll have your job!
I need to pause at this point and say Thursday was a really bad day for me. Had a dr’s visit, and was told I have to go in for a cancer screening next week, so I wasn’t exactly cheerful during work. As a result I was overly snarky and had a bad attitude. I admit it. Probably shouldn’t have said some of what I said, but I did. Anyhoo, moving on.
Guy comes in to buy books, and has his father’s check. Newbie cashier asks me if he can take the check with the guy’s school ID. I told him no dice, we needed his dad’s driver’s license number, DOB, and phone number on the check. Guy then decides he wants to argue with me.
SC: Look, my dad’s at work, and he gave me a check. I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed my books today. Why can’t I do this?
Me: I’m sorry, sir, but without your father’s ID information, we can’t run the check through our system. It requires that information.
SC: I’ve been coming here for 4 years and you’ve always done it this way!!
Me: Sir, I’ve been working here for 3 and a half years and we’ve NEVER done it this way. Our computers won’t let us. Now, you can get us the ID information, or you can have your dad buy your books online and opt for customer pick up. But we cannot take that check without the information required.
SC: We’ll see about that! What’s your corporate number!? I’ll have your job for this!!
I gave him the number, and watched him leave. The poor newbie cashier is looking at me like I had just kicked a puppy and said he was surprised I did that. I shrugged, then went and found MOD K, and our DM, B, who was visiting the store. I explained what happened, apologized for being snappy, and said I’d accept the write up if there was one, because I knew I was over the line with what I said.
Still waiting to see what happens on this one.
The infamous “They” strike again! Or “I shouldn’t have to read my receipt!”
SC comes in for a refund. I read her receipt and tell her that according to it, her refund deadline was September 1st. As it was the 4th, there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
SC: What? I was told the fifth!!
Me: I apologize if there was a miscommunication, ma’am, but the receipt clearly states the first.
SC: I didn’t read my receipt! They told me the fifth! I trusted them, so I didn’t read the receipt!
Me: (And I’m to blame because you’re a flaming, illiterate baboon because….?) I’m sorry, ma’am, there’s nothing I can do for you.
SC: Fine! (She snatches her bags off the counter, looking royally pissed off) NEXT TIME I come in here, you had BETTER have trained your employees to give customers the TRUTH!
Me: (Smiles sweetly) Well, with all due respect, ma’am, you may have misheard. That’s why we put the policy on the receipt as an added precaution.
SC: You C**T!!!
Cop: (has once again wandered over) That’s it, you’re gone! Bye now!
SC: (Storms to the door, and turns around to scream at me one last time) RUDE C**T!!
Me:

I have been branded for life…
SC: Hey, remember me? I played Plinko with you! I need a refund now…
Me:

SC: Sure. So glad I have until today to do it..
Me:

SC: But why? I played Plinko!!
Me: (You and 17000 other people, pal…) Because our refund date was actually September 1st.
SC: (Waves receipt in my face) This says I have until today.
Me: …
SC: …
Me: (Sigh) Sir, that receipt is from Other Bookstore…not us. I can’t help you.
SC: See if I play your stupid games again!! (Storms out)
Me: You promise…?
I’ll have your job, part deux!!
Customer wants to special order a book. I ring it up but the price on my screen is different than the price on his order slip, so I ask him to wait and I’ll go check on it. Turns out there was a glitch and the used price was written down for a book that only comes new, as in, it comes shrink wrapped new every semester. I go back and apologize and tell him it is at the new price. Cue the suck.
SC: So, it rings up at $86.50. What’s MY price?
Me: ……..$86.50…?
SC: No, what’s my discount for YOUR error and MY inconvenience?
Me: Sir, I can’t give you a discount. I caught the error and went to check on it.
SC: But I was still inconvenienced! You took up 10 minutes of my time!!
Me: Sir, with all due respect, I was gone for less than a minute…
SC: I still deserve a discount.
Me: And I can’t give you one. Now, would you like to prepay for this book?
SC: No! I’ll be here next week when the order comes in and I’ll get my USED copy.
Me: Good luck with that, sir, they only come new. It’s a custom edition put out every semester.
SC: I want to speak to your manager! You’re beyond rude! I’ll have your job!
Me: You want my job? Take it! You wouldn’t last a day! (I go and find MOD K, who talks to the guy. He does tell him tough shit on the price/discount thing, but I did get a verbal reprimand for the way I responded. No write up though, thank gods!)
Aaaaand, that’s all I can remember right now. At least the big ones. Now that my fingers are gonna fall off, I’ve got errands to run. Buh bye all you happy peoples!
Comment