Your watch is never wrong?

[Broomjockey]

I need to move down to the tropics just so I can relax permenantly.

And for some reason, every cheesy island/tropicalish song I know started playing in my head at once. "On an island, in de sun" "Heatwave, tropical heatwave" "Way down in Cocamo" etc. et al.

[Kusanagi]

"Way down in Cocamo"

Please tell me it's the Muppet version.

[Broomjockey]

Please tell me it's the Muppet version.

Of course! Any other version is blasphemy! All heretics will be smited!

[Jester]

Come on down, folks! We have plenty of booze, a very relaxed attitude about just about everything, sun, surf, sailing, bars open till 4 am, great fresh seafood, fishing, snorkeling, diving, bars open till 4 am, chicks in bikinis 11.5 months of the year, friendly folks, great weather most of the time, great food, great music, and did I mention the bars are open till 4 am?
The only thing I worry about the time for is getting to work, and even that is not so major. If I'm running a bit late....hey, no problem mon, I'm on island time.

As I tell the tourists, down here, there are only two times that we care about. Happy hour and last call! And they tend to announce those!


And the best part I have been noticing since I have been on here....we don't have nearly as many SC's as a lot of y'all do. Heck, when half or more of your customers are on vacation, they tend to be in better moods. We still get SC's, but the proportion is a lot less. And...did I mention the bars being open till 4?

[Broomjockey]

But Jester, I must ask, what time do the bars close?
Also, before I file for a change of citizenship, I need these two very important questions answered:
1) What is the average temperature?
2) What are the phone numbers of some of these girls in bikinis?

[Jester]

But Jester, I must ask, what time do the bars close?
Also, before I file for a change of citizenship, I need these two very important questions answered:
1) What is the average temperature?
2) What are the phone numbers of some of these girls in bikinis?

I should correct myself. Bars can stay open as late as 4, and many do, but some close earlier, and some base the closing on business....but you can still always get a drink till 4.

As for citizenship, don't stress over that minor detail. Not only are there many people living down here illegally, many people down here are not even living under their real name. There is a saying that when God shakes the U.S., those who can't hang on fall down to Key West. I am not sure I disagree with that assessment.

The average temperatures range from 69.9 in January to 84.4 in July, with the lowest recorded temperature being 41, and the highest recorded temperature being 97. "Key West claims to be the only city in the lower 48 states never to have had a frost." [sources: weather.com, wikipedia.org, and talking to people who have lived here forfreakinever]

As for the phone numbers of those girls....you're on your own, pal.

[Broomjockey]

Ok Jester. Can I crash on your couch for a while? I'll be going by the name Enrique Jones. Shouldn't be hard to pick me out! And I can't believe you'd freeze a bro out on those numbers! Can't a guy catch a break?

[Jester]

BJ, you would not be the first to move down here and crash on my couch as a starter. I can think of several who have.

As for freezing you out, my butt. If I have to work to get the numbers, they are mine. You do your own leg work.
I might add that I am going through a dry spell, and it has been six months since...well, since ANYTHING.* So bugger off on that one.


*I don't count the amusements when I was DJing the swingers convention last month. Entertaining, to say the least.

[Broomjockey]

Fine man, I'll get my own numbers. But it'll be a while before I get down there. I'm not gonna waste my tuition and time by not finishing. So, howzabout I make a reservation for 2.5 years from now? Will Chez Jester still have room?

[Jester]

Room, yes....but not here. As Chez Jester is relocating next summer back to the desert paradise of Phoenix. Sorry. One more year, and I am outta here.

[Broomjockey]

Aww, nertz. Now who am I going to get to get me cheap drinks and show me all the cool places to go to?
Closest I've been to Pheonix was Albuquerque. And that was hot enough for me in December. Arizona in summer, nah uh. I'm an arctic kinda guy, unless you got a nice beach for me. Oh well, back to the drawing board!

[Horsetuna]

I just got a ceellphone. So far its 10 minutes slow and currently thinks its july fifth.

I still have no clue how to fix it. O.o

But since I know how fast it is and the real date, its not that big a problem.

[Jester]

Aww, nertz. Now who am I going to get to get me cheap drinks and show me all the cool places to go to?
Closest I've been to Pheonix was Albuquerque.

Abluequerque is a poor man's Phoenix, just as New Mexico is a poor man's Arizona. (Boy, am I going to get it from the New Mexicans for that one!)

As for a nice beach...what makes you think that Key West has a nice beach? A common misconception about this place. I told you what it had....lots to do on and under the water, party central, laidback atmosphere, scantily clad females, and great food. I never said diddly about nice beaches. Nice beaches? Try Key Largo.

As for cheap drinks? Good luck. As for cool places to go? Hard to go wrong on this island, to be honest.