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Badger badger badger
I have a LOT of singers. You can see this, as the bar is full and my list is long. Do not come up to me every other song and ask when your turn is. Your turn is right where you left it. Let's say Roderigo (because it's a fun name) is singing right now. I show you the list - after Roderigo is Kate, then Jim Bob, then Fred, then Nikolai, then you. I'll even count them for you. After this guy singing right now, there are four more and then you. Don't come up to me after Kate and say, "So I'm next?"
In addition, when you have been badgering me like this all night, and you are obviously too smashed to sing anyway, coming up and telling me you've really gotta go so I need to bump you up in the list is not the best idea.
See, I don't work for a company. The only person who can tell me what to to is the bar owner. And he doesn't care. Therefore, I can do whatever I want. If you tell me to move you up on the list, I'll smile, nod, and not do a damn thing. When I tell you, "I'll get you up there as soon as I can," what I mean is, "You'll sing when it's your damn turn."
Of course, exceptions can be made. See that pretty little tip jar right there? When you put pretty green paper in it, I become a hell of a lot more sympathetic to your wanting to sing sooner. When you don't, you wait like everybody else.
Go away.
Again, I have a LOT of singers. Someone is constantly at my table asking me something or giving me their song. You sing the same four songs every week. When you finish one of these, and push in front of all the nice folks waiting to talk to me to ask me if you sang it better this week than last week in my opinion, I'm going to tell you this cold hard truth: I wasn't listening.
If this offends you, piss off. You can see that I am busy and you are holding up the line. Do not stand there half the night to tell me that the Eagles are like OMG the best thing EVAR. I don't care. Yes, you heard that right. I. Don't. Care. Now go away.
Well, excuuuuuuuse me.
One more. I sit right by a speaker. It's LOUD right here. I can barely hear you. You come up and tell me you'd like to sing and your name is Joni. I repeat your name back to you. You watch me type your name into the computer as J-O-N-I. You are fine with this. When your turn comes up and your name pops up on the screen you turn around and yell, "My NAME is JODIE," and then glare at me the rest of the night, even after I've fixed it. Next time, speak the hell up.
So ends another week.
I have a LOT of singers. You can see this, as the bar is full and my list is long. Do not come up to me every other song and ask when your turn is. Your turn is right where you left it. Let's say Roderigo (because it's a fun name) is singing right now. I show you the list - after Roderigo is Kate, then Jim Bob, then Fred, then Nikolai, then you. I'll even count them for you. After this guy singing right now, there are four more and then you. Don't come up to me after Kate and say, "So I'm next?"
In addition, when you have been badgering me like this all night, and you are obviously too smashed to sing anyway, coming up and telling me you've really gotta go so I need to bump you up in the list is not the best idea.
See, I don't work for a company. The only person who can tell me what to to is the bar owner. And he doesn't care. Therefore, I can do whatever I want. If you tell me to move you up on the list, I'll smile, nod, and not do a damn thing. When I tell you, "I'll get you up there as soon as I can," what I mean is, "You'll sing when it's your damn turn."
Of course, exceptions can be made. See that pretty little tip jar right there? When you put pretty green paper in it, I become a hell of a lot more sympathetic to your wanting to sing sooner. When you don't, you wait like everybody else.
Go away.
Again, I have a LOT of singers. Someone is constantly at my table asking me something or giving me their song. You sing the same four songs every week. When you finish one of these, and push in front of all the nice folks waiting to talk to me to ask me if you sang it better this week than last week in my opinion, I'm going to tell you this cold hard truth: I wasn't listening.
If this offends you, piss off. You can see that I am busy and you are holding up the line. Do not stand there half the night to tell me that the Eagles are like OMG the best thing EVAR. I don't care. Yes, you heard that right. I. Don't. Care. Now go away.
Well, excuuuuuuuse me.
One more. I sit right by a speaker. It's LOUD right here. I can barely hear you. You come up and tell me you'd like to sing and your name is Joni. I repeat your name back to you. You watch me type your name into the computer as J-O-N-I. You are fine with this. When your turn comes up and your name pops up on the screen you turn around and yell, "My NAME is JODIE," and then glare at me the rest of the night, even after I've fixed it. Next time, speak the hell up.
So ends another week.
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