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This is probably a sucky customer but he made us laugh so I'm not sure it counts.
I can't go into too much detail but suffice it to say I'm in Collections.
Today I received my first Cease and Desist letter from someone we'd been calling. This is not a letter from an attorney (even though this is LAST stage collections) this is a letter from the customer who states that we need to stop calling him because--among other things--he didn't give us permission to "trespass" on his privacy.
Secondly, we can't collect from him because he has renounced his American Citizenship and moved to another country. Too bad, so sad.
Problem is, this new country is a self-made sovereign nation in the middle of Montana.
The cease and desist letter was 27 pages long and included such gems as a pledge of allegiance to this new country, documentation certifying that he was, in fact a citizen of this new country. Documents, letters and affidavits (all made by him) giving up insurance (
I guess since it was only valid in the U.S.?) and any benefits he could receive by being a citizen of the U.S. Also included was a copy of his contract where he had cut and pasted lines pertaining to Montana and replaced them with the name of his new country. There was even a document changing his name so that supposedly he wasn't the person who signed the contract--nice try, moron. He even had invented a new way of measuring time which (conveniently) made it so he was NOT overdue but still had plenty of time to pay. 
Seriously, if the guy had spent half as much time--oh, I don't know--at a real job making actual money maybe he could have afforded to pay us.
I can't go into too much detail but suffice it to say I'm in Collections.
Today I received my first Cease and Desist letter from someone we'd been calling. This is not a letter from an attorney (even though this is LAST stage collections) this is a letter from the customer who states that we need to stop calling him because--among other things--he didn't give us permission to "trespass" on his privacy.
Secondly, we can't collect from him because he has renounced his American Citizenship and moved to another country. Too bad, so sad.
Problem is, this new country is a self-made sovereign nation in the middle of Montana.
The cease and desist letter was 27 pages long and included such gems as a pledge of allegiance to this new country, documentation certifying that he was, in fact a citizen of this new country. Documents, letters and affidavits (all made by him) giving up insurance (
I guess since it was only valid in the U.S.?) and any benefits he could receive by being a citizen of the U.S. Also included was a copy of his contract where he had cut and pasted lines pertaining to Montana and replaced them with the name of his new country. There was even a document changing his name so that supposedly he wasn't the person who signed the contract--nice try, moron. He even had invented a new way of measuring time which (conveniently) made it so he was NOT overdue but still had plenty of time to pay. Seriously, if the guy had spent half as much time--oh, I don't know--at a real job making actual money maybe he could have afforded to pay us.
) of how he shouldn't have to pay support because his ex was a cheating ho and he went into great detail of what a wretched evil harbringer of doom this woman was along with her many "exploits". He included cutouts from magazines to provide examples of her so-called whorish atire and wrote multiple pages full of name-calling and vileness to show his absolute loathing for his ex.
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