This week in the intellect wasteland... (1 gross part)

[Primer]

I also had a friend in school who's dad was a prison doctor. The salt and pepper shakers duct taped together was the most "interesting" one I ever heard.

end-to-end, or side-by-side?

what???

[Mark Healey]

Every Wednesday, there's a large group of douchebags who like to ride around Denver on bicycles.

Sounds like Critical Mass. It's a bunch of twenty-something watermelons* who go out with the intent to be obstacles to traffic and be as offensive as possible. They've even been known to get violent.

I made the mistake of responding to a flier once and went on a ride. They took up all lanes on the street and one guy had a bullhorn he was using to insult pedestrians, to the cheers of other people on bikes. I didn't finish the ride.

I'm waiting for them to cut off something that can't stop on a dime and trying to play victim at the results.

*watermelon; someone who is green on the outside red on the inside.

[KhirasHY]

The bullhorn more or less describes the guy I almost got in a fight with (minus the bullhorn itself). Funny thing is, I keep waving him over to get closer, and he never takes me up on it, even with 40 friends there.

[cj1991]

end-to-end, or side-by-side?

what???

End to end.

Let's just say that Duct Tape isn't as strong as it claims to be in certain situations, hence this guy ending up in the infirmary.

Don't feel bad. I remember asking the dad if the salt shaker was the one that became lodged, and wondered aloud about the pain that salt would cause..........

[PepperElf]

"high grater"

kinda sick so this time i'll white it out...
i've seen worse. one of my old coworkers had a fascination with a "rotten" webpage. the x-rays showed a jar of jam and a potato.

wtf? a whole jar of JAM and a large potato? Why? O why did you try that?

And one of my friends did some EMT work, had to assist in removing a glass bottle. The unfortunate patient was sooo embarrassed too. he specifically requested my friend cos he figured another gay man wouldn't tease him horribly about the situation

[Becks]

I am so shocked he felt up to going out and picking up a guy already the next night! I would think he'd be sitting on an ice pack and ordering room service!

Maybe he was pitching and not catching.

[Peppergirl]

Maybe he was pitching and not catching.

Thank you! This was the gist of the 'bottom' joke I so desperately wanted to make!

[Wembley]

At least it didn't get him bootied from the hotel. I would have thought that after such an embarrassing incident he'd be so ashamed he'd use the rear entrance when returning to his room, though.

I dunno... after that incident, I don't think he wants anything to do with the "rear entrance"

-Wembley

[Becks]

Thank you! This was the gist of the 'bottom' joke I so desperately wanted to make!

You're quite welcome, I'm sure.

I was just surprised no one else mentioned it before me.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Poor guy must have been so embarrassed. At least he went with a "high grater" and not a small animal or vegetable, a shampoo bottle or a can of feminine deodorant spray (all previous patients of mine)

Or a bottle of hot sauce? (See Kara's latest.)

They took up all lanes on the street and one guy had a bullhorn he was using to insult pedestrians, to the cheers of other people on bikes.

So, if their goal is (ostensibly) an environemental one, why hassle the pedestrians? I'd venture to say that walking is even "greener" than biking. (There's oil used in the tires, and on the chain, for starters.)

[KhirasHY]

Or a bottle of hot sauce? (See Kara's latest.)

Hehe yeah, I giggled at that one a little...

[otakuneko]

Sounds like Critical Mass.
I'm waiting for them to cut off something that can't stop on a dime and trying to play victim at the results.

*watermelon; someone who is green on the outside red on the inside.

Well, there was that one Critical Masser who got tackled by a cop for no apparent reason.

From the stories I saw, this one was not one of the more extreme riders. All stories pointed to the cop being in the wrong.

[bunnyboy]

Sounds like Critical Mass. It's a bunch of twenty-something watermelons* who go out with the intent to be obstacles to traffic and be as offensive as possible. They've even been known to get violent.

I made the mistake of responding to a flier once and went on a ride. They took up all lanes on the street and one guy had a bullhorn he was using to insult pedestrians, to the cheers of other people on bikes. I didn't finish the ride.

I'm waiting for them to cut off something that can't stop on a dime and trying to play victim at the results.

*watermelon; someone who is green on the outside red on the inside.

can't even call them that here, since 90% of them aren't red or green, just asshats and street-kids, and yes I'm near the city with all that fun of guy (supposedly) got spooked hit a couple, went to park and provide aid, then got beat down...yeah I'll keep my opinions on what SHOULD have happened to myself). but all in all, I'd love to see them get some of what's coming to them, like ya know, next time they have it being blocked by some of our finest boys in blue...

of course being the EWs they are, they'd scream Rights Violation as loud as they could.

of course this is just the Sattle CM group.

and as to why they hate Peds, pedestrians in 9 out of 10 cities have mroe rights than riders. (take my city...no really take it, I want a new one...)

[Saydrah]

Maybe he was pitching and not catching.

After something like that? I would think even pelvic thrusting or a friendly grab of the bum would be extremely uncomfortable.

[Geek King]

I would have thought that after such an embarrassing incident he'd be so ashamed he'd use the rear entrance when returning to his room, though.

Isn't using that enterance what got him in trouble in the first place, though?