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When I was young and foolish (as opposed to the current old and foolish), I worked for a summer as an usher in a movie theater. This particular summer a movie came out celebrating a little boy being smarter then all the adults around him, being terribly rude and snotty, doing horrible amounts of property damage, and yet everything works out ok in the end. Narrows it down doesn’t it?
Many parents thought this movie would be excellent for their spawn and merely slowed down in the parking lot long enough to eject Junior from his car seat before speeding off to ruin someone else’s day. Sadly, this one woman chose to escort her grandson into the theatre.
So there I am, attempting to remove an entire bucket of popcorn that’s been ground into the rug with a broom older then myself, when Grannie comes shooting out of the darkened theatre screeching at the top of her lungs. It seems that her brilliant grandchild got bored with the movie and chose instead to experiment with places he could put parts of his body. He has shoved his arm through the cupholder and is now stuck. He is also screaming at the top of his lungs and all the other children around him are making noise like monkeys playing with firecrackers. The movie is actually over at this point, they’re all just hanging around to watch this kid scream.
So the manager and I go in and take a look and sure enough, the little bugger is stuck. After a bit of debate, we pour liquid soap over the kid’s arm, allowing him to wiggle free. Yay for us, right?
Wrong!
As soon as Junior is actually free, Grannie starts hollering and demanding things. She wanted her movie refunded, her snacks all refunded, and a new t-shirt for her precious darling because clearly the soap had ruined that t-shirt forever.she doesn't actually check the kid for any injuries at all, just shoo's him away.
My manager, who I went to High School with at the time, looked at her in shock. He literally couldn’t get a word out of his mouth. The woman ranted and railed for awhile longer until she started to run out of breath and neither one of us had actually said anything to her. Finally my poor manager just shook his head and walked off, leaving me alone with a puddle of soap to mop and an irate Grannie. Junior had already run off to bang on the arcade games in the lobby.
When she was eventually convinced that we weren’t even going to talk to her about giving her something, she grabbed the kid and stomped out. I made the manager buy me nachos for a week for leaving me alone with that bat.
Many parents thought this movie would be excellent for their spawn and merely slowed down in the parking lot long enough to eject Junior from his car seat before speeding off to ruin someone else’s day. Sadly, this one woman chose to escort her grandson into the theatre.
So there I am, attempting to remove an entire bucket of popcorn that’s been ground into the rug with a broom older then myself, when Grannie comes shooting out of the darkened theatre screeching at the top of her lungs. It seems that her brilliant grandchild got bored with the movie and chose instead to experiment with places he could put parts of his body. He has shoved his arm through the cupholder and is now stuck. He is also screaming at the top of his lungs and all the other children around him are making noise like monkeys playing with firecrackers. The movie is actually over at this point, they’re all just hanging around to watch this kid scream.
So the manager and I go in and take a look and sure enough, the little bugger is stuck. After a bit of debate, we pour liquid soap over the kid’s arm, allowing him to wiggle free. Yay for us, right?
Wrong!
As soon as Junior is actually free, Grannie starts hollering and demanding things. She wanted her movie refunded, her snacks all refunded, and a new t-shirt for her precious darling because clearly the soap had ruined that t-shirt forever.she doesn't actually check the kid for any injuries at all, just shoo's him away.
My manager, who I went to High School with at the time, looked at her in shock. He literally couldn’t get a word out of his mouth. The woman ranted and railed for awhile longer until she started to run out of breath and neither one of us had actually said anything to her. Finally my poor manager just shook his head and walked off, leaving me alone with a puddle of soap to mop and an irate Grannie. Junior had already run off to bang on the arcade games in the lobby.
When she was eventually convinced that we weren’t even going to talk to her about giving her something, she grabbed the kid and stomped out. I made the manager buy me nachos for a week for leaving me alone with that bat.
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