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  • Welcome to Restaurant Hell!

    Here are some random occurrences that actually did happen the last few days at The Bar:

    Not a math major

    CUSTOMER: "I'd like the order of 13 wings, please."
    COWORKER: "Okay."
    CUSTOMER: "How many wings is in that?"
    COWORKER: (realizing he's serious) "Twenty four."
    REST OF TABLE:
    CUSTOMER:

    They'll do what they want!

    Last night we had a couple of large parties upstairs. My coworker and I were taking care of one of them together, and for said party, we had six individual tables reserved.

    At one point, while said party was milling around and occupying four of the aforementioned six tables, a group of four came in and sat at one of the other two. My coworker politely told them that said table was reserved for the large group.

    They wouldn't move. "Can't we just sit here?" And not said all that politely. They would not move, they would not budge. I'm sorry, what part of "reserved" don't these people get?

    To add insult to injury, although they were otherwise polite throughout their stay at the reserved table, when they finally left, after getting some free booze on top of everything else due to a promotion we have, they tipped my coworker a meager $4 on their $64 bill.

    It's all about them.

    We have a late night menu that we go to later in the evening, as the kitchen starts shutting down. It's a limited offering of our larger menu. Many places do similar things.

    A group of four (I think) comes in the other night after we had gone to the late night menu, and start talking to my Rockin' Manager at the hostess stand. She politely informed the women of the fact that we were only offering the late night menu at that time. The women seemed unthrilled, but no big deal. Then one of the husbands got very nasty with RM. I don't know the exact exchange, but apparently he and his friends were "offended" that we would not be offering them the full menu.

    As if it had anything to do with them.

    Fortunately, they left in a huff, so none of us had to deal with their self-centered selves.

    I'll say it again, slowly....

    I'm tending bar when this sketchy sort walks in and starts asking questions. Basically, he was asking where he could get work, if we had any openings, etc. Never asked for an application, and he would never have been hired (as I said, sketchy, in the "not quite a bum but not far from it" category), but I humored him at first.

    Then I noticed he had a lit cigarette in his hand.

    Due to Florida law instituted several years ago, you cannot smoke in an enclosed restaurant.

    JESTER: "I'm sorry sir, but you can't be smoking in here."
    SKETCHY: (making no move to exit) "Oh yeah, sorry, I'll finish this outside. But let me just ask you this--"
    JESTER: "Sir, I will be happy to answer any question you have, but you need to go outside with that NOW. When you've taken care of that, feel free to come back in."

    Idiot.

    Here we go again!

    This exchange is old, but it is a constant. That being said, this week it seems I got asked this far more times than usual, to an odd extent. Remember, these exchanges all occurred at my work, while I was working, serving the people asking!

    CUSTOMER: "So, do you live here?"
    JESTER: "No. I commute from Phoenix ever day."

    Where do these people think that Key West workers live? North Carolina? Geez!
    Last edited by Jester; 09-27-2008, 08:00 PM.

    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
    Still A Customer."


  • #2
    I'm of the opinion that you should live in North Carolina and make marty delicious drinks.
    Would you like a Stummies?

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth marty View Post
      I'm of the opinion that you should live in North Carolina and make marty delicious drinks.
      I'm a mere 4 hours away from him! The party that didn't budge from the reserved tables, I know how that is. I've also had the displeasure of dealing with SC's who bitch about the lounge area being full and having to sit at the dining room (you can eat in both areas, but the lounge has the live band and dancefloor) when they come in during the busy nights or try to make a reservation at the last minute.
      I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
      Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
      Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

      Comment


      • #4
        With the party that refused to move - why not just refuse to serve them until they moved?

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Jester View Post
          CUSTOMER: "So, do you live here?"
          JESTER: "No. I commute from Phoenix ever day."

          Where do these people think that Key West workers live?
          May I offer what may be going through their heads?

          Rent and property values in a lot of the Texas islands and beach towns - especially the popular tourist sites - now are so ridiculously high that few to none of those who work middle to low paying jobs can afford to live there. These people commute in from other cities each day. Your customers may be thinking it is the same in Key West.
          "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
          .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Jester View Post
            Not a math major

            CUSTOMER: "I'd like the order of 13 wings, please."
            COWORKER: "Okay."
            CUSTOMER: "How many wings is in that?"
            COWORKER: (realizing he's serious) "Twenty four."
            REST OF TABLE:
            CUSTOMER:
            Wait, what?
            An "order of 13 wings" sounds like, y'know, thirteen wings. Not twenty-four. The only way I can think of getting twenty-four from thirteen is to add the digits and multiply by six, unless "order of 13" means twenty-four in your secret code-talking language.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Jester View Post
              Here are some random occurrences that actually did happen the last few days at The Bar:


              To add insult to injury, although they were otherwise polite throughout their stay at the reserved table, when they finally left, after getting some free booze on top of everything else due to a promotion we have, they tipped my coworker a meager $4 on their $64 bill.
              unfortuneately this seems to be the coming norm
              I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
              -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


              "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

              Comment


              • #8
                CUSTOMER: "So, do you live here?"
                Yeah I sleep behind the bar.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Gerrinson View Post
                  With the party that refused to move - why not just refuse to serve them until they moved?
                  That's what I was thinking.

                  Quoth Ninja Chocobo View Post
                  Wait, what?
                  An "order of 13 wings" sounds like, y'know, thirteen wings. Not twenty-four. The only way I can think of getting twenty-four from thirteen is to add the digits and multiply by six, unless "order of 13" means twenty-four in your secret code-talking language.
                  I don't know, but I originally thought the coworker was being sarcastic. It may be like "I would like the #13 wings," where it says in the menu how many wings are in the #13 offering.

                  SC
                  "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

                  Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Ninja Chocobo View Post
                    Wait, what?
                    An "order of 13 wings" sounds like, y'know, thirteen wings.
                    Quoth BroSCFischer View Post
                    I don't know, but I originally thought the coworker was being sarcastic.
                    That's why the rest of the table laughed.
                    Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                    http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth marty View Post
                      I'm of the opinion that you should live in North Carolina and make marty delicious drinks.
                      I'm of the opinion that any relocation I undertake is going to require either A) a large sum of money coming my way, or B) that relocation being to Phoenix. As North Carolina is most definitely not Phoenix, you do the math.

                      Quoth tropicsgoddess View Post
                      I'm a mere 4 hours away from him!
                      And yet she never comes to visit me.....

                      Quoth tropicsgoddess View Post
                      I've also had the displeasure of dealing with SC's who bitch about the lounge area being full and having to sit at the dining room
                      Yeah, as if we can control the fact that other people are there. I love the people who act as if it's our fault that the bar is full and they may have to sit elsewhere. And yes, they really do expect us to find them a spot even when the bar is two deep and there's not even standing room, let alone seats. Idiots.

                      Quoth Gerrinson View Post
                      With the party that refused to move - why not just refuse to serve them until they moved?
                      I was not their server, but having dealt with idiots before, while that is tempting, it is also a great way to piss them off and escalate the situation, and when you are busy, that is really the last thing you want.

                      Quoth South Texan View Post
                      Rent and property values in a lot of the Texas islands and beach towns now are so ridiculously high that few to none of those who work middle to low paying jobs can afford to live there. These people commute in from other cities each day. Your customers may be thinking it is the same in Key West.
                      That would make sense in any place other than Key West. To understand this, check out the Florida Keys on mapquest. They are a long string of islands extending 120 miles out from the mainland, and Key West is the last one. Commuting from some of the other Keys? Sure, reasonable, and somewhat done. Commuting from the mainland? Completely impractical. It is not like we have surrounding towns we can go to. We don't. If you work in the Keys and you don't live in the Keys, you are in a much higher tax bracket than *I* am!

                      Quoth BroSCFischer View Post
                      I don't know, but I originally thought the coworker was being sarcastic. It may be like "I would like the #13 wings," where it says in the menu how many wings are in the #13 offering.
                      Coworker was being very sarcastic, as the wings are not listed as "#13," but as "13," with the other amounts being listed right there as well. It is not, for example, like the crab cakes, which does not say how many are in an order--it is very clearly delineated on the menu how many is in each order.

                      Besides, he said, "I'll have the 13 wings. How many is in that?"

                      'Nuff said!

                      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                      Still A Customer."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        I'm of the opinion that any relocation I undertake is going to require either A) a large sum of money coming my way, or B) that relocation being to Phoenix. As North Carolina is most definitely not Phoenix, you do the math.
                        That's it. I'm taking up a collection from the resident Wisconsinites on the board.

                        I'm also going to check the map to see if any small towns are named Phoenix.

                        You never know.
                        Unseen but seeing
                        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                        3rd shift needs love, too
                        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Jester View Post
                          That would make sense in any place other than Key West.
                          Oh. Well, then... maybe they are rich and lonely and are hoping to "hook up" with you when you get off?
                          "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
                          .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

                          Comment

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