The Cookie! (longish)

[tropicsgoddess]

I don't mind when my melons are molested.

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Neither do I .....but it doesn't sound right...I have such a gutter mind.

[friendofjimmyk]

So, if you are molesting fruit, does that mean you have to register on a foody offender list? Is there such a website that hosts food molesters registration list?

[blas]

jimmy....there sure is....familyfruitdog.com

The little green dots stand for people who have molested muskmelons, watermelons, melons in general.

The yellow dots stand for people who have offended bananas and pineapples.

I won't even say what the red ones stand for.





I made that all up.

[SilverOrb]

It's pretty bad when MY gutter mind gets topped. My hat is off to y'all.

[Qaeria]

COL: Well. I should hope so. It amazes me that they let un-educated high school drop outs like yourself work with real peoples food.

OMFG: !!eleventy!!

First off, I totally feel for you, however... on the bright side karma can just rock

Reminds me of when I had that glorious chance to follow karma on a wonderfully refreshing ride of SC pwnage. Let us turn the page back 12 years to where a young and ambitious Q'aeria was completing his masters of science. For extra cash, he was occaisionally caught earning a modest income as a peon of the wonderful chain of convenience stores called 8/12 (Name changed to protect the guilty). We were, of course similarly armed with prepackaged, heavily preserved goo for sale to the stoned and drunken masses.

Entering stage right is our SC who of course drops a bomb similar to the hag mentioned in the quote.

So at 2:30 am, and after having dealt with the entire gauntlet of customer suckdom, and other fine fuck trumpetry, I was not in the mood for such a comment. Now keep in mind that the SC in this story said that she was a nurse. full on nurse. whatever...

Me: Lady, the way my night has gone, quite frankly, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart, ok?

SC:

Me: So now begs the question. how does it feel to be bested in wits by what you assume to be a highschool dropout?

SC: Well I never!!

Me: Really? I thought you'd be used to it by now. I'm done playing. Get the f*ck out of my store.

SC: I want to see your manager!

Me: Great! Be sure to be here weekdays between the hours of yadda yadda.

SC: huff! snort! *stomps off*

Customer Audience: Applause...

Now, dear reader, you would think that this is a decent display of pwnage, especially since the manager for our store came complete with spine. SC was basically told that if she ever did it again, charges would be laid, stuff like that...

pwnage, right?


no.

Following semester, guess who was in my bio-chem class?

Found out she was basically a pre-med student, just got started later in life. So I walk up to her?

Me: Did the hospital send you back for a refresher?

SC: Get lost asshole! What did the teacher need you to deliver a twinkie?

Me: *walks to pulpit* Good Morning Class. I am your instructor, Mr. Aeria.

SC:

And that is my only tale of pwnage at such magnitude. a thousand apologies to the author of this post, and mods, please move if you need. I did not mean to step on your post, but wanted you to see that karma does work.

[Evil Queen]

I wish I was an onlooker/student during this show Qaeria.

[IEatCustomers4Breakfast]

Qaeria: That's the most amazing thing I've EVER heard.

*hugs* for the terrific story

[dithers66]

Personally I think you handled it wrong, you were too nice back to her. You should have insulted her and then denied it later to your boss and said she's just a senile dumb senior with a stick up her ass.

[Qaeria]

Personally I think you handled it wrong, you were too nice back to her. You should have insulted her and then denied it later to your boss and said she's just a senile dumb senior with a stick up her ass.

I suppose. The fact that we had a kick ass surveillance system, and a spine equipped manager, allowed me to be as rude as I was. He was awesome.

The best was the look in her face. She even went to the professor to try and have me removed from teaching Bio-Chemistry. When the Prof asked me what that was all about, I told him the story.

The SC eventually failed with pre-med. I think she went into law instead. something about being more compatible for her...

[Broomjockey]

I suppose.

I think (because of the senior reference) that he was referring to the OP. You did have a fantastic tale of pwnage though.

[Qaeria]

I think (because of the senior reference) that he was referring to the OP. You did have a fantastic tale of pwnage though.

you know.. you're prolly right. Mine wasn't a senior... just a thirty something entitlement whore.

[Becks]

Some day I want someone to accuse me of being a HS dropout for working retail (but we all know I really did graduate from HS. I have my diploma around here somewhere).

Just once.

So I can point out that I know a large number of people who went to (and graduated from) college, yet are working at the exact same place.

I just happened to save myself thousands of dollars.

I don't mind when my melons are molested.