SC's Caught In Their Lies (funny)

[TruthHurts]

I had a lady call less than 24 hours before a reservation (Our policy is 72 hr) and tried to cancel. She kept insisting that the lady who took the reservation swore it was 24, it was funny since I was the lady who took her reservation the month before.

[booger]

I had a guy try to return stuff he said were doubles of stuff that he got at a baby shower. So obviously, he had no receipt. Also, I noticed he didn't have a sticker that the people at the door give you when you bring stuff to return into the store. I asked him where his sticker was and he said he didn't know he needed one, and that no one was at the door. So I asked him which door he came in, and he followed me with his cart of baby goodies to the door. The lady at the door told me she hadn't seen him come in and that she'd been there for an hour, and she is one of the best door people we have.

So here's where I start playing dumb.
Guy: "I just want to exchange this stuff for some baby stuff."
Me: "I know, but I just need my bosses' approval because this is a lot of stuff."
Guy: *acting all inncoent* "It's expensive stuff?"
Me: *pokes box* "Yeah, I'd say a $200 stroller is a little expensive."
Guy: "Wow, that is a lot."

Ok, so here's all the red flags going off in my head at once:
1. no receipt
2. no sticker
3. price tag still on the stroller, which most gift givers would take off of the box beforehand
4. kick butt door person didn't see him come in
5. contents of the cart: $200 stroller, $100 playpen, $50 crib set, and $150 king sized comforter set...who gives comforter sets at baby showers?

AND THEN! The lady working next to me was all like, "Hey! I just saw you in the back of the store and you had an empty cart."
Guy: "Nah uh, I had all this stuff, I was just going to the bathroom."
...6. There's a bathroom in the front of the store, right near where people bring returns.

Meanwhile, my boss gets up to the counter, I whisper to her what's going on whilst still maintaining the ditzy cashier act, and she gets the assistant manager to come over. Assistant manager comes over and tells the guy we can do the return once we check the video to see why the lady didn't give him a sticker at the door. I turned around to put something away, maybe 10 seconds, and when I turned back around, the guy was *POOF* long gone. He had acted like a patient dad to be, unaware of what stuff costs, for like 10 minutes, and poofs at the first mention of video tape, HA!

The best part was when I was putting the stuff away and there was exactly one empty spot on each shelf where the items went, which is funny because the aisle with the comforters is stocked so often that there's never any gaps there when we put away regular returns. HA!

...Also had a guy try the same stunt with a $300 vacuum cleaner, insisting that it was a gift and he didn't know he needed a sticker. When asked about the sticker, he said he'd go check on that and never came back. I went to put the vacuum back (after taping it up because he'd opened it to make it look like he'd come in with it), and it was the most expensive vacuum we sell. Moron.

[Kiwi]

"Actually, ma'am, I'm going to believe that chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows."

Ha my grandpa told me (and I believed) that the black spots on cows grew larger as they filled up with milk, and when they turned black thats how the farmer knew when to milk them.....

I was so trusting!

[Crosshair]

HA. Yea, those tanks do love to rocket when they loose the valve. My dad saw an oxygen tank go across a parking lot and through a brick wall when some idiot was moving it without the valve cap on it. (I was reading the Emergency HAZMAT book we had in our car on a long trip and asked him about that.)

/Doesen't everyone have an Emergency HAZMAT book in their car???

[Retail's Bitch]

"Sorry ma'am. We can't. Store policy says we can't tie anything down. We can however, give you the rope and let you do it." M heads inside, cuts at least fifteen feet of rope (more than enough) and hands it to the lady. He then leaves.

So in essence, you gave her enough rope to hang herself with. ;-)

I constantly have had customers lie to me over the years. Everything from, "No, I didn't let the cat use these brand new black pants as a cat bed." to "No I don't know why this shirt smells like cigarette smoke and is sticky and smells like booze. I didn't wear it to the bar honest!"

To the latest. "Well your manager said I could have two packages!!!"

Cocks an eyebrow. "I did? Wow I must have a really bad memory."

"Errm umm... I mean..."

lol.

[AmericanZero8503]

We have this stupid 200% freshness garuntee, so of course we have this idiots who try to abuse it.

Lately we've been getting real strick on it and we have been keeping track of who returns what when. The other day this lady tried to use my name saying I said it was okay to return (she obviously had not seen my nametag). She got really red faced and ran off when I informed her who I was.

So from now on we've been requiring two forms of ID to return non-fresh items. Sure it pisses off the legitmate people, but most importantly it's been scaring off the regular scammers.

For some reason I get excited when I piss off a scammer, and my boss encourages me to be shitty and run them off.

[MadMike]

We have this stupid 200% freshness garuntee, so of course we have this idiots who try to abuse it.

Is that a double-money back guarantee?

The local supermarket has (or had, not sure if they still do) a double-money back guarantee on their meat. Some stupid woman got arrested for trying to scam the store on their guarantee. Apparently, she bought some meat and used vinegar to ruin it, and then came back to the store, claiming it was spoiled, and get double her money back. The main reason she got caught was because the vinegar she used to spoil the meat was bought at the same store on the same day, and was even on the same receipt.

What is it with stupid people and vinegar?

[AFpheonix]

There, there . . . I felt the same way when I found out Chocolate Chip ice cream didn't come from Chocolate Chip cows.

Have a on me.

I suppose that beats it coming from chocolate cow chips

I forgot about the lady who had a small dependence problem with darvocet. So much so that her doctor refused to prescribe her anymore. Oddly enough, her daughter started on darvocet a few months later....

Anyhoo, she said she was going down to CA for a while, and wondered if her script would be transferrable to a pharmacy down there. I told her that she could, but that since it was a controlled medication, it could only be transferred once, so that any refills remaining on it could not be transferred back up here. Well when she got back, she tried to get an early fill, claiming that I told her that she couldn't bring the pills back over the border, so she'd left them down there (yeah, right. I'm sure she'd take them all before abandoning them). The nurse was quite angry with her after I told her verbatim what I'd said.
She doesn't come to our pharmacy much anymore, I'm quite happy about that, really.

[Argabarga]

Well, at least she stopped at that point, our dependent lady just stole a script pad from her doctor and started forging

Last I heard, the AG's office was a closin' in on her.....

[thegiraffe]

"Actually, ma'am, I'm going to believe that chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows."

My brother used to swear that girl babies come from girls, and boy babies come from boys. OT, I know, but it made me think of it haha.

And that grill story DEFINITELY wins the cake. Holy freaking crap. I'm in class reading it, and it took everything I had to not crack up. Ok so I did a little, but it wasn't noticeable haha.

[Cia]

Regular/vanilla milk comes from white cows, chocolate milk comes from brown cows and strawberry milk comes from sunburned cows.

Rectangular hay blales make milk cartons and round hay bales make milk jugs. The bales with rattlesnakes caught in them just adds a different flavor dimension to your daily glass of cowjuice.

[Jester]

And milkshakes come from Alaskan cows.

[MadMike]

And milkshakes come from Alaskan cows.

I thought they came from epileptic cows.

[dougiezerts]

And soybean milk comes from cows who are practicing vegetarians!
Seriously, why is it that the are certain people who absolutely refuse to say "I'm sorry," no matter how wrong they are proven to be? Arrogance? Pride? Or just plain stupidity?

[vloglady]

I check this return out. "Grill." It says. Wait a minute here...that's a grill? Dear gods what happened? The tank explode? Reading the details, I see "Came out of customer's truck?"

She returned the grill to the store???? The one that fell off the truck?