Haikus Of Suck

[KhirasHY]

This will give some insight as to what the hotel industry is doing to my already fragile hold on sanity...

You peed on my wall
Uncle Khiras grabs a knife
Goats blood on Tuesday!

Naked couple here
Oh hottub you defiled
Clean with bleach quickly

This ID is fake
Why must you torment me thus?
Please die slowly, ass

This last one's stolen, but I don't care, I think it's funny In context, it's a Haiku from a comedian to a girl who cheated on him.

All good Haiku's are
Five words then seven then five
But who cares you whore?

[RetailActress]

"Is my wife in here?"
Bold Sir, I do not know you.
Ten ladies in store.

[Skeksin]

The suckage begins
The calls from wait are rolling
Please sir, kill me now

[flygirl]

"Why don't you smile,
like on your I.D. badge, miss?"
'Cause I don't like you.

"It's too cold in here!
Get me a blanket, stewardess!"
Stained blanket for you.

"Three hours delayed!
There had better be free drinks!"
No comps for weather.

Nice day, but wait! There's
a cloud in the sky! Newark
Airport in ground stop.

[RetailActress]

Day off from retail!
How best to celebrate well?
Drink sleep drink sleep drink!

[RetailActress]

Two days off from work!
The whole weekend - whoop-de -doo!
Is it enough? No.

[JoitheArtist]

Company dying slow
Blamed on economy but
Is really $#@! boss

Heav'n forbid we give
Marketing plans more than two
Days to work, dumbass

And no, in fact, ice
Cream sandwiches are NOT a
Reward for hard work

Do not fire half office
Then wonder why things start to
Fall apart at seams.

After meeting about funds,
Told there are no plans to close,
Work goes as normal?

Like hell: we go back
To our office, and rewrite
Our resumes. Help?

[Jester]

Fantasy Fest time--
tourists, amateur drinkers!
But "thanks for your cash!"

[RetailActress]

Customers, be nice.
Not weird, just be rational.
All will go so well.

(OK, I realize this is a fantasy haiku.)

[flygirl]

Collecting garbage.
Please put in trash bag, not in
Seatback pocket, pigs.

Businessman thinks he's
God. "I fly all the time, miss!"
I get laid more, though.

Petite lady squished.
Maybe you should have bought a
Second seat, fat man.

[RetailActress]

Thirty percent off
Already marked down stuff!
Not the entire store.

[RetailActress]

Nice day for long walk.
Sadly, I had to decline.
Why? On feet all week.

[RetailActress]

"Your pants don't fit me!!"
What, pray, might be the reason?
Hint: big-ass carcass.

[the_std]

"Where is Hallowe'en?
I need to buy a costume!"
Buy a calendar.

[RetailActress]

Tough economy?
Customers keep coming here!
Why? They annoy me.