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Just Kidding! (longish)

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  • Just Kidding! (longish)

    There are a few things at work that I just hate to hear. Mostly because it’s the same moronic dribble I hear from customers all day long. Some people thing they’re being clever, that I haven’t yet heard their completely original attempts at being funny, and others just don’t think before they speak. But enough chatter, let me give you some prime examples…

    Are you kidding?

    Me: ok that reservation to fly from Anchorage Alaska to Miami Florida during Spring Break will cost $1,000.00.
    SC: Are you kidding?!?!

    Sigh…no I am not kidding. As much as I love to kid around just like everyone else I can assure you that when I quote a fare it is indeed the truth. I am not pulling some random number out of thin air hoping that it will piss you off just enough that you ask me if I’m kidding then I can say, “Haha! Yeah I’m just kidding, it’s actually free because you caught me!”

    Now I won’t pretend to be completely oblivious to the fact that plane ticket prices have sky rocketed so I know they’re getting harder and harder to actually afford, but I promise I am NOT kidding when I quote a fare.

    I’ll use yours!

    Me: and what kind of credit card will you be using today?
    SC: Well I’ll just use yours! Hyuck Hyuck!

    How very clever sir, I haven’t heard that one yet today.

    I’m not listening…lalala….I’m not listening

    Me: and if I could have the passengers LAST name please.
    SC: Julie
    Me: ok, and if I could have their first name.
    SC: Oh, that was their first name.

    Or…

    Me: and if I could have the passenger’s LAST name please.
    SC: Julie Escalante.
    Me: ok, and their first name?
    SC: wait, didn’t I already give that to you?

    If I ask a question please, please, PLEASE, for the love of all that’s Holy just give me the damn answer! Why is it so hard to listen for one second and tell me what I asked for? If I ask where you’re flying from don’t tell me what date you’re traveling, if I ask for your phone number don’t give me your mileage plan account, and for crying out loud if I ask for your first name give me your FIRST NAME!

    But I already paid

    Me: Ok to make this change it will be a $100.00 change fee and $25.00 difference in fare.
    SC: But I already paid to change my reservation once.
    Me: Yes I see you changed your reservation 2 months ago, but you are changing it again. If you change again you have to pay again.
    SC: But I already paid once!

    This is kind of along the lines of the kidding about the fare thing. Again I know it costs a lot to change reservations, I don’t pretend I don’t see that. But just because gas prices cost a lot can I go to the gas station and say, “But I paid last week I don’t have to pay again!” NO! I cannot. Because much like booking a ticket when I purchase gas I agree to everything that comes with purchasing gas such as PAYING FOR IT!

    I can’t read your mind

    Me: (opening line) Thank you for calling Airline this is Sapphire how can I help you.
    SC: Yes I have a reservation.
    Me: …
    SC: …

    Believe it or not I cannot read minds, and for that I am eternally grateful. Calling me and stating the simple fact that you have a reservation will reward you with only my silence until you realize that what you have said does not warrant a response. Sure I could say, “Well done!” or “Bravo!” which might be what you’re looking for, but until you give me more to go off of I shall remain silent. Of course this always ends with the ever-popular SC response, “Are you still there?”

    Well those are my examples. I hope you enjoy them! Thanks for reading.

  • #2
    [QUOTE=SapphireSky;423989]
    Me: (opening line) Thank you for calling Airline this is Sapphire how can I help you.
    SC: Yes I have a reservation.
    Me: …
    SC: …
    [QUOTE]


    At one point I responded to this with "I have a few myself". Thankfully, my boss at the time had a sense of humor.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Moggie View Post
      At one point I responded to this with "I have a few myself".
      Ok now I have little bits of chewed bread on my left monitor.
      I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

      "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth SapphireSky View Post
        Me: and if I could have the passenger’s LAST name please.
        SC: Julie Escalante.
        Me: ok, and their first name?
        SC: wait, didn’t I already give that to you?

        If I ask a question please, please, PLEASE, for the love of all that’s Holy just give me the damn answer! Why is it so hard to listen for one second and tell me what I asked for? If I ask where you’re flying from don’t tell me what date you’re traveling, if I ask for your phone number don’t give me your mileage plan account, and for crying out loud if I ask for your first name give me your FIRST NAME!
        Reminds me of a call I once had when I was in tech support.

        Me: Thank you for calling BlahBlahBlah Tech Support. Can I have your name and phone number please? (This is used to bring up the account)

        SC: Oh, hello! I'm having trouble with my connection.

        Me: Okay, I'd be happy to help you with that. If I could just get your name and phone number, so I can bring up your account?

        SC: It doesn't connect! Every time I try to connect, it gives me this error message, and says something about my username and password.

        Me: Alright, I'd be glad to help you, I just need to get your name and phone number...

        SC: I've had this account for years, and I've never changed my info, so it shouldn't be giving me this error! I asked my son if he messed around with it, but he says he didn't. I really just need to get online and get my e-mail... do you think you can help me?

        Me: ...

        SC: ... Hello?

        Me: Yes, I'm here. Can I get your name and phone number please?

        Me: Oh! I didn't know you needed that! It's...

        Check out my webcomic!

        Comment


        • #5
          I can’t read your mind

          Me: (opening line) Thank you for calling Airline this is Sapphire how can I help you.
          SC: Yes I have a reservation.
          Me: …
          SC: …
          i kind of see the customer's point of view. Lot of times people call the library and start with "My account number is..." and I have to stop them in the middle of it to tell them "this is reference, let me connect you to the correct dept." I guess the person was waiting for you to tell them they had the right number or that you were going to connect them. Though in your case, if I started off like that, I would then say after hearing nothing "what inforamtion you need?"

          Me: and if I could have the passengers LAST name please.
          SC: Julie
          Me: ok, and if I could have their first name.
          SC: Oh, that was their first name.

          Or…

          Me: and if I could have the passenger’s LAST name please.
          SC: Julie Escalante.
          Me: ok, and their first name?
          SC: wait, didn’t I already give that to you?

          If I ask a question please, please, PLEASE, for the love of all that’s Holy just give me the damn answer! Why is it so hard to listen for one second and tell me what I asked for? If I ask where you’re flying from don’t tell me what date you’re traveling, if I ask for your phone number don’t give me your mileage plan account, and for crying out loud if I ask for your first name give me your FIRST NAME!
          Oh, that happens all the time.
          Me: Ok, you want to hold the book? I need your last name and library card no.
          SC: my name is Jenny Jessie Cal.
          Me: *sigh*
          Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

          Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

          I wish porn had subtitles.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth SapphireSky View Post
            Me: ok that reservation to fly from Anchorage Alaska to Miami Florida during Spring Break will cost $1,000.00.
            SC: Are you kidding?!?!
            Considering the distance involved AND the time of year, that seems reasonable to me.
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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