More ID headaches.

[Jester]

You have all seen me bitch about people and their ID's. Well, as if on cue, another perfect illustration of ID idiocy came my way tonight.

I approached the table that had just sat. A young lady (by looks anywhere from 18-24) and her father or grandfather, not sure. He did not speak English, she spoke fine English though with an accent. No problem so far.

She orders a drink for him, and then orders a drink for herself. This is where the hilarity ensued. The conversation as best I remember it:

SC: "He'll have a pinot grigio, and I'll have a vodka and pineapple juice."
ME: "No problem. May I see your ID please."
SC: [pause] "I don't think I have it with me."
ME: "Uh oh." [smiling to let her know that I sympathize with her plight]
SC: "I don't have it with me."
ME: "I'm sorry about that, but if you don't have your ID, I'm afraid I can't sell you alchohol." [the standard ID chant]
SC: "But I live here."
ME: [thinking, "and?"] Okay. I understand that, but I still can't sell you alcohol without your ID." [more of the standard ID chant]
SC: "But everyone here knows me."
ME: [about to start on the standard ID chant, but wait...there is hope. This is the one legal loophole. See, if another staff memeber knows her, and can vouch for her being of age, as in they either know her or remember having seen her ID, I can, in fact, server her. Yes, this is very legal, as I have still verified her age. And if this is the case, then we'll both be happy.] "Oh, cool. If any of the bartenders or staff can vouch for you, then I can serve you." "Who do you know?"
SC: "Well, is Nate* working?" [Nate is a guy that used to work there, but no only sporadically fills in. As in, very very rarely.]
ME: "No, he's not working today. Today, we have [the staff on duty]."
SC: "No, I don't know any of them. Just Nate." [Naturally. Although she knows everyone, and everyone knows her, in reality she only allegedly knows the one person who not only isn't there, but isn't likely to be there any time in the forseeable financial quarter.]
ME: "I'm sorry. In that case, I can't legally serve you. Can I get you something else to drink?"

*[not his real name]

She put up a small (polite) stink, but in the end, her older companion got his wine, and she got the pineapple juice sans vodka.

Personally, I love the logic. She lives here, so I am supposed to just serve her because of that. No. If she lives here, and she looks the way she looks, she should know that people may well ask her for her ID. Also, if she knows everyone, how comes she doesn't, in fact, know everyone? Many of the people working tonight have been there, literally, for years. Also, if she knows Nate so well, how come she sat at a table, where Nate would never be serving them, as he only works behind the bar, and not at the bar, where Nate would be? We were not busy, there was room at the bar.



Everyone, sing it with me:
[to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands]

"If you order alcohol, show ID.
If you want me to serve you booze, let me see.
If you want to get a drink
Then folks you have to think
That if you look that young you'll need your damn ID!

If you're legal and you're thirsty, show some proof.
If you left your home without it you're a goof.
If you're legal and you know it
and you want a drink, then show it.
Cause the only way you're drinking is with proof!

Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week. [I have ID.]

[Banrion]

Everyone, sing it with me:
[to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands]

"If you order alcohol, show ID.
If you want me to serve you booze, let me see.
If you want to get a drink
Then folks you have to think
That if you look that young you'll need your damn ID!

If you're legal and you're thirsty, show some proof.
If you left your home without it you're a goof.
If you're legal and you know it
and you want a drink, then show it.
Cause the only way you're drinking is with proof!

Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week. [I have ID.]

Can I make a poster of that for my bar?? The pub I frequent is smack in the middle of a college, and a private boarding school, so they get kids in all the time. I think they would love that plastered across the front door.

[gundam40]

I sang that song outloud at work... and cracked out laughing...

Thanks a lot Jester, now my co-workers think I'm a freak

[Jester]

Can I make a poster of that for my bar?? The pub I frequent is smack in the middle of a college, and a private boarding school, so they get kids in all the time. I think they would love that plastered across the front door.

Sure, on the one condition that you give me credit. Yes, I did make that up, and didn't steal it from someone else, as I do so much of my stuff (thank you George Carlin). PM me for the information. (Hey, can't blame a fellow for wanting credit...)

[thinking: hmmm....wonder if I could sell that....hehehehehehheh!!!!]

I sang that song outloud at work... and cracked out laughing...

Thanks a lot Jester, now my co-workers think I'm a freak

Don't be blaming me...I can't make you something you weren't already.

[sportsmom]

I sang that song outloud at work... and cracked out laughing...

Thanks a lot Jester, now my co-workers think I'm a freak

I actually clapped! At least the only one with me was my 4-year-old. She doesn't care and already knows that I'm a freak.

[Lace Neil Singer]

That was brilliant. Got any more gems?

[beercashier]

Your song rocks!!!

My favorite line from customers is

ID-less person: "you must be new here."
Me: "No, I have worked here for 15 years."

[Jester]

That was brilliant. Got any more gems?

Thank you, to you and everyone else who complimented my little ditty.

I always have gems. Years ago, when The Eagles got back together and were touring on the Hell Freezes Over tour, and the tickets were (for the time) outrageously priced, despite being a huge Eagles fan, I re-penned Hotel California with lyrics basically making the Eagles admit their greed. It was great! Wish I still had it. Actually submitted it to a local rock station, and they almost produced it for on-air use on their morning show.

Then again, not everything works. Been working on a Jimmy Buffett parody called "Son of a Son of a Salesman" off and on for years, and have just never gotten it quite right.

Your song rocks!!!

My favorite line from customers is

ID-less person: "you must be new here."
Me: "No, I have worked here for 15 years."

Yep. No ID, no sale. Sorry.
As for the above comment, had something similar a while back, when I first started at the second bar I work at. These people wanted separate checks, which at the second bar We Don't Do. (We all love the boss for that one.) Though this was explained to the table of four, at the end when I brought the bill, they insisted on separate checks. A server who had been there longer than me (it was about my second day or so) went to talk to them, and explained that we didn't do separate checks, and that that had been explained to them.

SC: "But we've done it before. We've been coming here for 30 years!"
CW: "That's interesting, since we've only been open 19."
SC: "..."

[Becks]

SC: "But we've done it before. We've been coming here for 30 years!"
CW: "That's interesting, since we've only been open 19."
SC: "..."

Oh, that's the BEST. I hope they looked properly ashamed of themselves.

[purplecat41877]

Yesterday, a customer asked for lottery tickets. He looked young so I asked for ID. He didn't have the proper ID and I informed him that I needed an ID with his actual birthdate. He said out loud to his friend in one of the check out lines at the time that he got carded for tickets (lottery, that is).

[purplecat41877]

Yesterday, a customer asked for two different types of cigarettes and I asked him for ID. He wasn't happy about that and requested a manager. I thought the assistant manager had left at the time (found out later he was still there) so I got my coworker at the service desk to help out. He told the customer that he needed ID even though the customer said that he was from the pizza place across from the grocery strore I work. By the way, the pizza place does exist. The customer ended up leaving the store and came back a little later with ID so he got his cigarettes.

[Scottya21]

I once carded beer delivery guy for buying cigarettes. I didn't know at the time that you have to be 18 (or 21? dunno) to deliver the stuff . ^^;

Seriously though, "I don't have my ID" is dumb. Who doesn't carry their ID around? You need it to drive. Then again, where I live everything is at least a 15 minutes *drive* from my house, so... I'm pretty sure I've gotten people that drove up to the store and didn't have their IDs. bizarre....

[seeress_83]

Seriously though, "I don't have my ID" is dumb. Who doesn't carry their ID around? You need it to drive.

Apparently lots of people.

I had a guy and what I'm assuming is his mom come in my store the other day. They stood there, and she asked him what kind of dip he wanted (copenhagen, skoal, etc.). They stood and debated for a few minutes, and when a decision was finally made, SHE was the one who asked for it and had the money. I smelled something fishy, so I told them that I was gonna have to card HIM, because if I suspected her of buying it for him and he was underage, I legally could not sell it to her. Surprise surprise, he didn't have his ID with him. When I told them sorry, I couldn't sell it to them, they left amid various curse words.

Look, not my fault. I'm not losing my job and having to pay a minimum $500 fine because you're too stupid to do your decision making in the car, and only having the person who is of age come in.

[Noelegy]

I was recently in a convenience store, buying a soda, and was behind a guy who wanted to buy cigarillos. The clerk asked for ID. Signs saying that they are required, by law, to ask for ID were prominently displayed. The customer attempted to get past this by saying, "You know me bro, I'm in here all the time," and the clerk indicated the signs. The customer eventually gave up on the pursuit and left, but I felt like saying, "If you're in here all the time, then you know they have to ask..."

[Anakah]

I will never get the logic of people "forgetting" to have ID. Here in Nevada it's the law to have ID on you at ALL times. Especially in a casino.

"But I'm 25"

But to me you look 12, so forget it.

Do they honestly think since they say what age they are that we're suddenly going to say: Oh, wow now that YOU told me, sure here I'll loose my job because YOU said so.

Or they try to give crazy ID. Usually it's in another language and impossible to see any kind of age.

I feel naked without my ID. They're all walking around naked. I can't imagen not having ID...

I got yelled at by some boys because I carded them.

SC: But we have BEER in our hands.

ME: *shrugs* I still need to see your ID.

They could get those anywhere. A friend could let them "borrow" them, they could've picked them up from someone leaving them at a machine. I don't care if they are drinking, that means nothing to me.

I've carded people ten years older than me. It's honestly hard to tell but its safer to just card them.