The Stand-Off

[videodrone]

Alright, so I haven't had any customers lately worth mentioning. Oh sure, I've been getting the "waaaaaaah late fees" thing, but nothing dramatic, so this next story is about the best I can do.

Alright, it's about twenty minutes after we've closed. I've got the tills shut down, everything counted and balanced, movies are run, and the lights are off. We are obviously very, very closed. I'm standing at the front door with my coworker, about to punch the security code in for our alarm system, when we see a car drive up. The lady in the car gets out, sees the lights are off, and starts to head back to her car when she all of a sudden sees us too. She rushes up to the doors and stares at us.
We stare back.
She stares.
We stare.
She doesn't say anything, so my coworker finally yells to her "uh...we're closed". This does nothing, but provoke more staring.
She pulls on the door, which is locked, and then goes back to staring. Eventually, she just turns around and walks away.

The other one was with my boss. I have a strict policy of ignoring door pullers, window tappers, and "yooooo hoooooo"ers. So I'm counting down one of my tills and suddenly realize there's a woman heading for our front door. I pay her no mind and keep doing my thing and hear the expected failed yank on our door. Then she starts the window tapping and goes "hello? hello? I want a movie! hello?". All of which is ignored by me because I'm trying to count the money. She eventually wanders back to the front door and I hear "YANK YANK YANK YANK YANK YANK YANK YANK YANK YANK", I swear she was trying to break through to front doors! My boss comes out of the back and gives her this "wtf" look and throws up his arms. She shouts back "YOU ALL SUCK" and leaves.

[Becks]

She shouts back "YOU ALL SUCK" and leaves.

To which you reply "Not lately!!" and laugh at the look on her face.

[Evil Queen]

Deedle deedle doo... bah-bah-bah.... deedle deedle doo.... bah-bah bahhhhhhh.....

The Western standoff music.

[Midnight12]

Deedle deedle doo... bah-bah-bah.... deedle deedle doo.... bah-bah bahhhhhhh.....

The Western standoff music.

Darn it all EQ you just....know the funniest things to say *literally almost falls out of chair laughing.*

[blas]

I never understood the reefing on the locked doors thing. My goodness, some people after close would pull up to the pitch black store, and would look all confused, as if to say "What? CLOSED? Nooo!" and pull and pull and tug and tug on the door until it nearly came off it's hinges....I swear some people can never get it through their heads...

[Grumpy]

If I ever open a business of my own I'm going to put a huge, bazillion-watt-fry-your-eyeballs-if-you're-withing-100-yards-of-it sign on the door that says, in HUGE letters: "WE'RE FUCKING CLOSED!". I will have a button on the counter/bar that will light the sign when pressed, and unlight it when released. That way I (or the unlucky employee dujour) can press the button everytime a douchewaffle tugs on the door. Then we can all amuse ourselves playing "guess how many times it takes before the SC goes away".

It will rule.

[Fandangoose]

Deedle deedle doo... bah-bah-bah.... deedle deedle doo.... bah-bah bahhhhhhh.....

The Western standoff music.

I think you're referring to "The Good , The Bad , and The Ugly ."

That's certainly an accurate description of the basic customer categories!!!

[Midnight12]

[QUOTE=Grumpy;427859]If I ever open a business of my own I'm going to put a huge, bazillion-watt-fry-your-eyeballs-if-you're-withing-100-yards-of-it sign on the door that says, in HUGE letters: "WE'RE FUCKING CLOSED!".QUOTE]

or how long until said SC goes blind. heh

[TheTigress]

If I ever open a business of my own I'm going to put a huge, bazillion-watt-fry-your-eyeballs-if-you're-withing-100-yards-of-it sign on the door that says, in HUGE letters: "WE'RE FUCKING CLOSED!". I will have a button on the counter/bar that will light the sign when pressed, and unlight it when released. That way I (or the unlucky employee dujour) can press the button everytime a douchewaffle tugs on the door. Then we can all amuse ourselves playing "guess how many times it takes before the SC goes away".

It will rule.

That's the funniest and most awesome thing I have read in a long time!

[Filmwench]

At my store, I've got a laminated A4 sign I stick to the door when I close up that reads:

No, actually we're
CLOSED
Please go away.

People still knock, and tap, and whistle, and yank on the f*&king door.